lilmiscassie92 Posted May 4, 2014 Posted May 4, 2014 So I met this guy about a month and a half or so ago. We hit it off great, he makes me laugh a lot; I thought he was really sweet, affectionate, has a good head on his shoulders - he's never even done drugs in his life, etc. Literally, everything I would want in a guy. Well after a few weeks, he started to back off a bit. He would text me everyday still but he wouldn't make as much of an effort to see me. Then when I would pull away he would blow up my phone; for instance, I tried confronting him about how I didn't like how things had been and he all of a sudden did a 180 and tried to see me that night/the next day. I was already irritated and he texted me like 12 times (i had my phone off until 4pm) and one of the texts said "wtf are you doing". So when we had another conversation about everything he said he was emotionally not ready to get into a relationship be he likes me and wants to give it time. He knows he's pushing me away though. His last relationship ended a year and a half ago. They were together for 3 1/2 years and they rented a house together, she had 2 kids from previous relationship. He also works a lot. Should I move on or should I talk to him less and date other people? How do I handle this?
LustAppeal Posted May 4, 2014 Posted May 4, 2014 It seems he had allot on his shoulders and now he's trying to take the weight off. It's not hard moving on when you put in all that commitment only to see it go sideways in the end. If you want to be with him, open up to him, but only after you're ready to give him time. If you're looking for a relationship ASAP, I'd say move on. Otherwise open up to him, tell him how you feel, ask him what you asked us. And see what happens.
Gaeta Posted May 4, 2014 Posted May 4, 2014 Is it the guy that his friend died and you did not show any support when he tried to reach out to you?
Author lilmiscassie92 Posted May 4, 2014 Author Posted May 4, 2014 Is it the guy that his friend died and you did not show any support when he tried to reach out to you? Yes, however I did show support that day. He never replied back to me and I had sent another text saying I'm sorry and hoping his evening was going a little better and if he needed anything to let me know. He only lives about 20 minutes from me. The next day, I had texted him first. And when he was acting cold and saying he was "frustrated" I felt like I needed to back off because he had been acting distant ever since we were intimate. I don't know if he just got scared, or what. But he told me on the phone last night that he pushes people away and is extremely hesitant about getting into any relationship because his heart was broken.
soccerrprp Posted May 4, 2014 Posted May 4, 2014 Yes, however I did show support that day. He never replied back to me and I had sent another text saying I'm sorry and hoping his evening was going a little better and if he needed anything to let me know. He only lives about 20 minutes from me. The next day, I had texted him first. And when he was acting cold and saying he was "frustrated" I felt like I needed to back off because he had been acting distant ever since we were intimate. I don't know if he just got scared, or what. But he told me on the phone last night that he pushes people away and is extremely hesitant about getting into any relationship because his heart was broken. Okay, forget about his dealing with his loss. It sounds like you did what you should have and he chose to keep you out. Also, his backing off since becoming intimate is always a RED flag. Don't try to rationalize it and don't let others think that it is not important. It seems that he is especially interested when you back off...another red flag. His "wtf" text when you don't respond to him is another red flag. It's not wtf when he is distant, but when you are it is???? Hmmmmm.... backing off was the thing to do. Sometimes, the people who are in need are the ones who need to reach out. He told you that he pushes people away...another red flag. Another sign that he is not ready for a relationship. Don't put yourself in the middle of this. We all need to learn when the odds are simply not in our favor to continue with someone whether it's dating or in a marriage. We deserve loving, caring people when we are ready for it, not when they decide it's convenient.
Gaeta Posted May 4, 2014 Posted May 4, 2014 I don't know if he just got scared, or what. But he told me on the phone last night that he pushes people away and is extremely hesitant about getting into any relationship because his heart was broken. That is a typical excuse for *I feel so so about you*. If you are serious about finding a relationship I would not put all my money on that horse. By the way, I would be extremely unhappy if a man said *wtf* to me. I would not let that one slide, he would have to apologize for using that language and I would not tolerate another accident. I am not even sure I would be interested in seeing him again. I have zero tolerance for disrespectful language. 1
torturedartist Posted May 4, 2014 Posted May 4, 2014 So I met this guy about a month and a half or so ago. We hit it off great, he makes me laugh a lot; I thought he was really sweet, affectionate, has a good head on his shoulders - he's never even done drugs in his life, etc. Literally, everything I would want in a guy. Well after a few weeks, he started to back off a bit. He would text me everyday still but he wouldn't make as much of an effort to see me. Then when I would pull away he would blow up my phone; for instance, I tried confronting him about how I didn't like how things had been and he all of a sudden did a 180 and tried to see me that night/the next day. I was already irritated and he texted me like 12 times (i had my phone off until 4pm) and one of the texts said "wtf are you doing". So when we had another conversation about everything he said he was emotionally not ready to get into a relationship be he likes me and wants to give it time. He knows he's pushing me away though. His last relationship ended a year and a half ago. They were together for 3 1/2 years and they rented a house together, she had 2 kids from previous relationship. He also works a lot. Should I move on or should I talk to him less and date other people? How do I handle this? It sounds like a lot of drama and wishy-washyness on the part of the guy you're talking about. Or maybe he's playing some kind of game... IMO life is too short for drama and games and all the bullsh*t. Some people really thrive on it, but I've personally experienced enough of it for one life. My advice would be to move on, unless you're in to the drama. 1
Tressugar Posted May 5, 2014 Posted May 5, 2014 Relationships shouldn't be this hard. You'll know when it's time to walk away.
babycakees Posted May 5, 2014 Posted May 5, 2014 You've only been together a month and a half. At this point, the relationship should be progressing with more communication/contact. This guy acts like he wants to cool things off. I think you already know you should move on or you wouldn't be posting this thread.
deathandtaxes Posted May 5, 2014 Posted May 5, 2014 One and a half months and he sends a 'wtf are you doing' text? Too early for that nonsense. Drop his butt quick. So rude. So disrespectful.
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