Zapbasket Posted May 4, 2014 Posted May 4, 2014 Have any of you read this book? He's Scared, She's Scared: Understanding the Hidden Fears that Sabotage Your Relationships. I ordered the book on Amazon, and couldn't wait until it arrived so started reading what was available as a sample on Kindle and then on Amazon's "Look inside this book" link. It seems really promising. I felt compelled to buy it after several people suggested to me that someone (like me) who is drawn to relationships with emotionally unavailable people is likely--perhaps by definition--emotionally unavailable themselves. I felt that must be impossible in my case, since I'm always in the pursuer position, trying to eke a relationship out of someone who would rather ignite relational discord than experience emotional intimacy. I thought that must mean I am emotionally AVAILABLE, very much so, since I'm so focused on winning emotional availability from the other person. I couldn't see myself in the emotionally UNAVAILABLE position so I thought this book might help give me a rubric wherein I could recognize the unavailable part of myself, if it really exists. I'm curious if others read it and what insights you gained from it about yourselves or relationships you've been in. Did any of you identify with "active" commitmentphobe the book describes? What about the "passive" commitmentphobe (which I seem to be)? Did insights you gained from this book help you make changes in subsequent relationships, or in a current relationship about to sink from the violent tsunami of the push-pull dynamic?
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