SpiralOut Posted May 4, 2014 Share Posted May 4, 2014 I'm assuming this is a polite way of showing disinterest. I had a coffee date today from OLD. He was very sweet. He had brought a rosemary plant for me (we both garden). He seemed very nervous at the coffee shop, as he was fidgeting like crazy, but he calmed down when we went for a walk afterwards. I was kinda nervous too and didn't talk as much as I normally might. I have no idea if it went well or not. It wasn't bad, but it wasn't great. I sent him a text when I got home saying "I had a good time today and thanks again for the plant!" He responded by agreeing that it was good and told me to "keep in touch." What is that supposed to mean? I figured if he'd had a good time he would have said "let's do it again sometime," but instead I get this weird business like response. Link to post Share on other sites
AdrianCrawley Posted May 4, 2014 Share Posted May 4, 2014 I'm assuming this is a polite way of showing disinterest. I had a coffee date today from OLD. He was very sweet. He had brought a rosemary plant for me (we both garden). He seemed very nervous at the coffee shop, as he was fidgeting like crazy, but he calmed down when we went for a walk afterwards. I was kinda nervous too and didn't talk as much as I normally might. I have no idea if it went well or not. It wasn't bad, but it wasn't great. I sent him a text when I got home saying "I had a good time today and thanks again for the plant!" He responded by agreeing that it was good and told me to "keep in touch." What is that supposed to mean? I figured if he'd had a good time he would have said "let's do it again sometime," but instead I get this weird business like response. Tell me this: What was his first reaction when he saw you ? What face did he make, what gestures ? Link to post Share on other sites
Author SpiralOut Posted May 4, 2014 Author Share Posted May 4, 2014 Tell me this: What was his first reaction when he saw you ? What face did he make, what gestures ? He got up and shook my hand. I don't remember what face he made. Link to post Share on other sites
AdrianCrawley Posted May 4, 2014 Share Posted May 4, 2014 He got up and shook my hand. I don't remember what face he made. Well... men, the same as women, show their impression about someone at first sight, if you're quick enough to catch what glances over their faces. Shaking hands means nothing. When I meet a new woman, or man, we say our names and shake hands, it's just a gesture, it's not something date-related. Link to post Share on other sites
Author SpiralOut Posted May 4, 2014 Author Share Posted May 4, 2014 Well... men, the same as women, show their impression about someone at first sight, if you're quick enough to catch what glances over their faces. Shaking hands means nothing. When I meet a new woman, or man, we say our names and shake hands, it's just a gesture, it's not something date-related. I didn't catch any look on his face. I think he looked at me a few times when I wasn't looking at him. I guess I was too busy deciding what I thought of him to notice what he was thinking of me lol. Link to post Share on other sites
lollipopspot Posted May 4, 2014 Share Posted May 4, 2014 He responded by agreeing that it was good and told me to "keep in touch." What is that supposed to mean? I figured if he'd had a good time he would have said "let's do it again sometime," but instead I get this weird business like response. It doesn't sound that promising, but from what you described he seems a bit socially awkward, so maybe he's passive and just doesn't know how to express interest well. Link to post Share on other sites
AdrianCrawley Posted May 4, 2014 Share Posted May 4, 2014 I didn't catch any look on his face. I think he looked at me a few times when I wasn't looking at him. I guess I was too busy deciding what I thought of him to notice what he was thinking of me lol. Well... if he's a normal guy... his behavior indicates that he is not interested in you. "Keep in touch" is the same as "Don't call me, I'll call you", or, bluntly put, "Adios". Link to post Share on other sites
Author SpiralOut Posted May 4, 2014 Author Share Posted May 4, 2014 Well... if he's a normal guy... his behavior indicates that he is not interested in you. "Keep in touch" is the same as "Don't call me, I'll call you", or, bluntly put, "Adios". Yeah that's what I thought. Oh well. Link to post Share on other sites
Author SpiralOut Posted May 4, 2014 Author Share Posted May 4, 2014 It doesn't sound that promising, but from what you described he seems a bit socially awkward, so maybe he's passive and just doesn't know how to express interest well. I'm not sure if he's socially awkward exactly, I mean he has no problem with public speaking and he seemed very assertive when we were talking online. Maybe he just can't handle a quiet person like me. He was practically dancing around in his seat, which made me feel uncomfortable. Most of what he had to say was about himself. He didn't ask many questions about me. Guess he's not my type. Ah well. Link to post Share on other sites
Legatus Posted May 4, 2014 Share Posted May 4, 2014 Since when "Keep in touch" means "Don't call me"? You said yourself he was a bit nervous et cetera, so don't expect him to be any different all of the sudden. Simply keep in touch with him, if after exchanging some messages or maybe a call he won't propose a second date, then you have you answer. But don't judge the whole situation just because of one sentence that can be taken in many ways. Do you best to be in contact with him (if you want of course) but if it doesn't produce ANY results, then you can simply move on.. Link to post Share on other sites
Author SpiralOut Posted May 4, 2014 Author Share Posted May 4, 2014 I already kept in touch by following up with him, when I could have easily chosen to never speak to him again. Saying "keep in touch" right after someone has initiated a conversation with you, doesn't really make much sense. It is the same thing as saying "I know we could have a conversation right now, but I don't feel like it so just message me some other time." I don't feel too inspired to initiate contact again. He can message me if he likes, and if he does, I might meet up with him again. But I'm not going to chase after him. Link to post Share on other sites
Legatus Posted May 4, 2014 Share Posted May 4, 2014 If you already contacted him and he hasn't changed his ways, then you're right to leave it at that. From my point of view you held up your end of "the bargain", it's up to him now if he wants to progress... Link to post Share on other sites
spiderowl Posted May 5, 2014 Share Posted May 5, 2014 I'm not sure if he's socially awkward exactly, I mean he has no problem with public speaking and he seemed very assertive when we were talking online. Maybe he just can't handle a quiet person like me. He was practically dancing around in his seat, which made me feel uncomfortable. Most of what he had to say was about himself. He didn't ask many questions about me. Guess he's not my type. Ah well. From what you say, it sounds as if he's not your type either. Do you really want someone fidgety who talks only about himself? Doesn't sound appealing. Link to post Share on other sites
Author SpiralOut Posted May 5, 2014 Author Share Posted May 5, 2014 (edited) From what you say, it sounds as if he's not your type either. Do you really want someone fidgety who talks only about himself? Doesn't sound appealing. Good point. He even told me that he could easily write a book about himself. Who on earth says that? And he asked me how pof is going for me, even though I met him ON pof, and was sitting right there on a date with him. I just said I didn't want to talk about it and he made a weird comment about the types of people on there. Then when I was walking home, he tried to say goodbye to me even though we were walking in the same direction and I couldn't exactly avoid.... you know... walking in the same direction in order to get home. It would have forced me to walk behind him for about 3 blocks after he had said goodbye to me. Awkward and weird. It would have made me look like I was following him. I told him that (more nicely than that) and he just looked at me like he couldn't believe what I had just said. Well I'm sorry but it's rude to say goodbye then continue walking directly in front of me.... if you're uncomfortable and want to stop talking to me, that's fine, but you should pretend you have to turn the corner or something. Okay maybe he is more socially awkward than I originally thought. I am just annoyed about feeling rejected by him when he was the one who acted so weird. Edited May 5, 2014 by SpiralOut Link to post Share on other sites
FitChick Posted May 5, 2014 Share Posted May 5, 2014 You're allowing yourself to feel bad when you should actually feel relieved. Link to post Share on other sites
hasaquestion Posted May 5, 2014 Share Posted May 5, 2014 Good point. He even told me that he could easily write a book about himself. Who on earth says that? And he asked me how pof is going for me, even though I met him ON pof, and was sitting right there on a date with him. I just said I didn't want to talk about it and he made a weird comment about the types of people on there. Then when I was walking home, he tried to say goodbye to me even though we were walking in the same direction and I couldn't exactly avoid.... you know... walking in the same direction in order to get home. It would have forced me to walk behind him for about 3 blocks after he had said goodbye to me. Awkward and weird. It would have made me look like I was following him. I told him that (more nicely than that) and he just looked at me like he couldn't believe what I had just said. Well I'm sorry but it's rude to say goodbye then continue walking directly in front of me.... if you're uncomfortable and want to stop talking to me, that's fine, but you should pretend you have to turn the corner or something. Okay maybe he is more socially awkward than I originally thought. I am just annoyed about feeling rejected by him when he was the one who acted so weird. This dude is a train wreck..... 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Shaun-Dro Posted May 5, 2014 Share Posted May 5, 2014 (edited) I'm assuming this is a polite way of showing disinterest. I had a coffee date today from OLD. He was very sweet. He had brought a rosemary plant for me (we both garden). He seemed very nervous at the coffee shop, as he was fidgeting like crazy, but he calmed down when we went for a walk afterwards. I was kinda nervous too and didn't talk as much as I normally might. I have no idea if it went well or not. It wasn't bad, but it wasn't great. I sent him a text when I got home saying "I had a good time today and thanks again for the plant!" He responded by agreeing that it was good and told me to "keep in touch." What is that supposed to mean? I figured if he'd had a good time he would have said "let's do it again sometime," but instead I get this weird business like response. His comment about keeping in touch equates to let's do it again, if you stop looking for things that aren't there and take it exactly for what it is, which is to keep in touch. There's nothing cryptic about it; no need to psycho-analyze. Edited May 5, 2014 by Shaun-Dro more words Link to post Share on other sites
Author SpiralOut Posted May 6, 2014 Author Share Posted May 6, 2014 You're allowing yourself to feel bad when you should actually feel relieved. Sigh. Yes I should feel relieved that he is letting it go quietly. That's much better than getting tons of texts and emails from guys who creeped me out. Link to post Share on other sites
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