Author KRuss Posted May 12, 2014 Author Posted May 12, 2014 So he invited me down to have dinner with him this past week, as he wanted to introduce me to his daughter briefly when she came home for the night. After he and I had dinner we went back to his place. She came in from a date and introduced herself. She went to shake my hand over the couch and I got up and gave her a hug. She was very warm. She talked a bit and went to her room. Then she came out a little later and said that she was going to go to sleep. She leaned down and gave him a big hug and told him she loved him. Then she leaned down and gave me a hug and said it was great to meet me. She left the room saying, "Now you hooligans don't stay up too late you hear"...jokingly. But, this weekend he had plans for his oldest son and wife to come down, and they were going to do a day of releasing balloons for his late wife, and then have brunch together. Sad, as I didnt hear from him at all day, to even wish me Happy Mothers Day in a text. Trying to understand but feel a bit hurt he didnt reach out at all.
anne1707 Posted May 12, 2014 Posted May 12, 2014 Don't take it to heart that he did not text you. His focus would have been on his children and memories of their mother for the day. It was bound to be a tough day for them all. The meeting with his daughter went well so take strength from that. Text him or call him today as you would normally 1
johnpatric Posted May 12, 2014 Posted May 12, 2014 I have never dated any widower, but recently I am just talking with one woman who is 44 years old and I really like to talk with her, because if you are single and bit old so you will and you can find someone but for that kind of person its tough to find the partner for them so I would like to date her but still I didn't tell her about any thing but I will tell her very soon, so in my opinion its not bad things..
Author KRuss Posted May 12, 2014 Author Posted May 12, 2014 Thanks Anne.. You are right, I am better today. He did message me first thing this morning. Strides don't happen overnight... 2
Phantom888 Posted May 13, 2014 Posted May 13, 2014 Dont date a widow/widower because you might be next.
Author KRuss Posted July 8, 2014 Author Posted July 8, 2014 Update: things went well, had great weekend Memorial day weekend. Then last few weeks he seemed a bit distant and he texted me yesterday out of town for weekend soccer for daughter in WA. I messaged him back and asked if he could talk. He said he would call me at 9. I decided I would tell him i was going out of town next week and maybe we could stay in touch by phone better since we wouldn't see each other awhile. I figured that would show if his interest level was waning. He called and I didnt even have a chance. He brought up a ton of things. We talked for an hour and 10 min. In beginning of June he said that after I was there Memorial day weekend (his daughter was at a friends overnight the night I stayed) that she asked if i slept there. He said i did. She asked if I was going to move in and he said no. She asked then why was I there overnight. He explained as adults that is often part of a relationship. That was all that was said. Then he said all the other things were happening as I have said, work,LW bday and anniversary. He said the last time he was at my house and stayed a day and a half it was wonderful (Fathers day weekend), but as he was driving away he felt guilty. I asked if it was because he was feeling good and moving on and he said he thought so. He said his counselor he saw when she died warned him of this, and he may go back to see her as he doesn't understand. She said he would have to let go and have final acceptance of moving on to emotionally attach with someone. I asked him if the conversation with his daughter is what started him thinking. He said it was. I asked if the outside forces were not there how does he feel about me and our relationship. He said no doubt he cared deeply about me and felt every part of our relationship, especially how we communicated, was amazing. He thinks I am an exceptional person. But, he feels like he needs to get to the bottom of how he feels and why to be fair to me, and him. He said he has more questions than answers. We talked about the fact that his daughter would struggle with change as often change is hard. He said he doesn't want her to be the deciding point, but they need to have a long talk and she needs to know their relationship wouldn't suffer because he moves on with someone in a relationship. He said they would have lots of time this weekend and he was going to have some long discussions with her. I told him to take his time figuring out things and getting back with me. He said no, he would be in touch and would be back with me after they talked as it is important for me to know where things stand. Then, he said he needed to figure out his own emotions and if he was ready for a deep emotional relationship. He said a relationship has to move forward and that we haven't really had enough time together to take things to a deeper level, but that it is time to figure out if and how we could do it. He said he didnt know if that meant me moving in or moving closer. I told him we aren't ready to move in together that we need to learn more about one another. I told him we didnt have to have it all figured out now, but that I was crazy about him and we could figure it out. At the end of the conversation he said he hated talking about this as it felt negative as it is negative emotions. I told him I knew he would probably hit a final grieving stage once he found someone he cared for, and that I expected it earlier but not quite now in the relationship. I felt like he had made the decision to move on and he said he does want to. He knows he needs to. He is just struggling. I told him that I really appreciated him telling me everything, as I really thought he was an incredible honest man and this proves I was right about him. I told him even though it is hard to hear some of the things, that I really respected him for being the man he is and opening up to tell me all this. He said everything he has told me has been true. He just doesn't know why he feels the way he does right now. I am relieved in a sense in knowing my intuition was right, but also having a difficult time with this as so much hinges on the next short time period here and how he can or cannot work through this. How can we have this amazing great relationship yet this is where we are. I feel like everything is hanging in the balance right now. PLEASE say prayers that his daughter will hear him and want for her dad to be happy. Say prayers he will work through this and come to a place where he sees how much we have to work towards together. Say prayers so I can feel peace and have good thoughts and energy about this. I have so much happening in my life and need to be able to think clearly....but i wear my feelings on my sleeve and this is HARD. Sigh.....im exhausted and feel trepidation
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