SpringBaby Posted May 6, 2014 Posted May 6, 2014 Sorry, me again. I think its hilarious that most men and i mean 90% of the men i look at online are looking for a gal that is "athletic and toned". HA, at my age there are some, but when you hit your 40's its not all toned. I have curves in all the right places and consider myself "average" thats not good enough for some of these guys. I don't think it's the age, it's what you do with it. I love her but, no lie, my younger cousin is 21 and she looks older than her mother. Just sayin'
LustAppeal Posted May 6, 2014 Posted May 6, 2014 (edited) The thing is, I don't mind too much on attraction. That's also another reason I don't just randomly approach girls. Just by the looks of a girl, it doesn't determine enough information about what she likes and stuff and how's her personality. Very true, but same goes for profile pictures and biography. The key word I used was "attraction" and it goes much deeper than physical attraction. Maybe it's a girl in your class and you overheard her talking about paintball, and you love paintball. You may develop attraction for her while realizing she has the same passions as you. And if you don't just walk up to the girl your attracted to and say "hi", you should start. It'll open up a whole new bunch of doors. We as humans hide from our fears more often than we seek pleasure! Answered via phone Edited May 6, 2014 by LustAppeal
Keenly Posted May 6, 2014 Posted May 6, 2014 @Keenly, 2-10 messages a day? That's nothing! I wrote more than that, and I'm a woman! There's no way you were doing it for as long with as little results. You actually got something out of it
hasaquestion Posted May 6, 2014 Posted May 6, 2014 Sorry, me again. I think its hilarious that most men and i mean 90% of the men i look at online are looking for a gal that is "athletic and toned". HA, at my age there are some, but when you hit your 40's its not all toned. I have curves in all the right places and consider myself "average" thats not good enough for some of these guys. I think its fair to expect to be with someone who puts as much effort into their appearance as you do. If I'm working out 5 times a week and my s/o is doing nothing I'd be pretty irritated.
rocketboy9 Posted May 6, 2014 Posted May 6, 2014 As I mentioned in my other post OLD is a huge time and $ suck. Its not cheap either. If you want to meet women face to face you have to go where they are. Take classes at the community college, take yoga/pilates classes, join a gym, do the meetup thing, churches/temple and on and on. Look at OLD this way - this is the same thing as applying for a job online with 1000000 other candidates. Unless you figure out a way to get your resume directly to the hiring manager, its a no go. In this case as a guy you are applying to the woman to be her boyfriend. Think about it - the analogy is so dead on. If you read about online hiring - less than 10% of candidates comes from sending your resume in like this. The real best way to find a job is through someone you know. You may think you are bad at meeting people but all you have to do is go places where they are and just say hi. Be yourself and be able to carry on a conversation. You will be surprised. If you want to practice talking to women - the first thing to do is say hi to every single person you meet, male or female. Than learn to make small talk with them. Thats pretty much all it takes. There are a lot of other ways to meet people beyond online. Give it a shot, you will be surprised.
saltyfishhead666 Posted May 6, 2014 Posted May 6, 2014 Well apparently based on what I answered in the OkCupid survey questions, most of the top match% are guys. Yes we fear the word rejection a lot. This is probably my worst of fears lol. But the strength I have is, being rejected on the internet because a girl tells you that feels better than being rejected in person. Why do I feel that way? Because all a girl does is just send a private message, where absolutely nobody is going to know the rejection. Whereas in person, a rejection can be known in public and can be humiliating although it does happen a lot. Also, asking a girl when she doesn't expect a conversation might not be a good idea so I fear that a lot. I don't just randomly go to a gym and say "Hi, how are you". The thing is, I don't mind too much on attraction. That's also another reason I don't just randomly approach girls. Just by the looks of a girl, it doesn't determine enough information about what she likes and stuff and how's her personality. Want a giggle? So I joined signed up to okcupid to see what everyone is talking about and the first picture of a guy I see is a ginormous cock... I am so glad I'm enjoying singledom now:lmao:
somedude81 Posted May 6, 2014 Posted May 6, 2014 Want a giggle? So I joined signed up to okcupid to see what everyone is talking about and the first picture of a guy I see is a ginormous cock... I am so glad I'm enjoying singledom now:lmao: Was that his profile picture or something?
Author Armegoggon Posted May 6, 2014 Author Posted May 6, 2014 Very true, but same goes for profile pictures and biography. The key word I used was "attraction" and it goes much deeper than physical attraction. Maybe it's a girl in your class and you overheard her talking about paintball, and you love paintball. You may develop attraction for her while realizing she has the same passions as you. And if you don't just walk up to the girl your attracted to and say "hi", you should start. It'll open up a whole new bunch of doors. We as humans hide from our fears more often than we seek pleasure! Answered via phone Yeah you're right, it's hard to take a first step honestly. I think its fair to expect to be with someone who puts as much effort into their appearance as you do. If I'm working out 5 times a week and my s/o is doing nothing I'd be pretty irritated. Working out is supposed to make you more athletic and stronger right? It's not meant to change your looks unless you take your shirt off? Want a giggle? So I joined signed up to okcupid to see what everyone is talking about and the first picture of a guy I see is a ginormous cock... I am so glad I'm enjoying singledom now:lmao: Oh you're in the same boat as me! Wish you lived close lol. As I mentioned in my other post OLD is a huge time and $ suck. Its not cheap either. If you want to meet women face to face you have to go where they are. Take classes at the community college, take yoga/pilates classes, join a gym, do the meetup thing, churches/temple and on and on. Look at OLD this way - this is the same thing as applying for a job online with 1000000 other candidates. Unless you figure out a way to get your resume directly to the hiring manager, its a no go. In this case as a guy you are applying to the woman to be her boyfriend. Think about it - the analogy is so dead on. If you read about online hiring - less than 10% of candidates comes from sending your resume in like this. The real best way to find a job is through someone you know. You may think you are bad at meeting people but all you have to do is go places where they are and just say hi. Be yourself and be able to carry on a conversation. You will be surprised. If you want to practice talking to women - the first thing to do is say hi to every single person you meet, male or female. Than learn to make small talk with them. Thats pretty much all it takes. There are a lot of other ways to meet people beyond online. Give it a shot, you will be surprised. Online dating is so imbalanced. Who made society so guys almost always don't get messages first? Why isn't there much balance between exchanging messages? What's wrong with this society online if so many people are relying on it?
SadNLonley Posted May 6, 2014 Posted May 6, 2014 Want a giggle? So I joined signed up to okcupid to see what everyone is talking about and the first picture of a guy I see is a ginormous cock... I am so glad I'm enjoying singledom now:lmao: Please tell me you're kidding. I was just talking to a guy that does OLD and he said that he get guys messaging him. Nothing wrong with men looking for men, but if you're a man looking for a woman, thats messed up.
normal person Posted May 6, 2014 Posted May 6, 2014 (edited) My friends and I have never online dated and never will. We think making things happen in real life is better, more natural, normal than the online dating crap. We do what worked in the 8th grade and for prom, ask out women we find attractive till one says yes. For generations and generations and generations men have thought and done what we do. It also has a long, long, long, long, long, long, long proven track record of success. I think there's some veracity to this. But there's no sense in having to do one or the other, or just one purely on principle. If you're efficient, you'll do OLD in a supplementary sort of way. What's it going to hurt to have a profile? Why not see what women message you from the comfort of their computer and with relative anonymity on a Wednesday morning when they're not out at the bar? I think women feel a little more comfortable messaging a guy online than they would approaching him in person. If they want to reach out, why not give them an easy avenue to do it? It makes life easier. No reason you can't pick up a girl at a bar on the weekend too. The tried and true method isn't for you, okay. You have decided on a different approach, okay. Your new method isn't producing good results which is evident by you and countless threads / posts on here from other men. Perhaps men should give up on internet dating and go back to the method that has worked since the dawn of time. I think people might get into OLD because they have trouble meeting people in person to begin with. So I'd bet the same guys who struggle with OLD are the same guys who struggle with girls in person. I don't think it's an issue with the channel used, it's probably an issue with the guy -- he's the common denominator. He doesn't know what to say to a girl at bar and he also doesn't know how to present himself in a profile. It seems to me plenty of people have success with both and plenty of people have failure with both. I'd be curious to know how much crossover there is. I see guys on here complaining all the time that they can't crack OLD. My question is if they aren't doing anything fundamentally different than they were in real life (where they also weren't successful), why do they think they'd have a different result? Do people want to blame the technology before they really give an accurate assessment of themselves and their methods? Edited May 6, 2014 by normal person
AdrianCrawley Posted May 6, 2014 Posted May 6, 2014 A few years ago I had a talk with one of my oldest friends. About women. I had trouble in getting them, for him it was only necessary to be where the girls were. So I told him it's about looks. He, of course, started with the bull**** about the attitude. After arguing for a while, I got fed up and started swearing and using cold blunt logic: me and him, dressed almost the same, in the same place (like, saaay, a club) and shutting up (so no "attitude" can be visible. What is the result: I being ignored, he being watched. Me and him, with our cameras through the club - towards me chicks were like "mr. photographer, please take a picture of us", towards him they were like "oh, please, oh, please, will you take a picture of us ?" or trying to kiss him, or asking him stuff like "after this are we going home ?". So I told him - "Man, cut the crap, don't offend me, see the facts, there is no ****ing attitude, there is only a difference in looks". He finally agreed and said this "Man, life isn't fair, and yes, you will have to work really hard to get what I'm getting for free, and even then there are some things you can't change, like your height. Sorry, that's life. Blame your parents, blame whoever and whatever you want, but that won't change a thing. Life ain't fair." What is the difference between me an him ? Me: 1.78 m, him: 1.83 m, me: 70 kg, him:90 kg, me: broken teeth, him: missing a few teeth, but none broken and he has all the ones in front (the ones you use for smiling), me: slim arms, generally slim figure, him: thick arms, generally thick figure, me: face is not symmetrical, but I'm not a mutant, I look average, him: face is symmetrical... See where I'm going with this ? So when I hear about pussy-begging... I meant pick-up artists stuff, I kinda...
dispatch3d Posted May 7, 2014 Posted May 7, 2014 search youtube for cajun keys to the vip. He's average looking at best but can pickup the hottest girls. So yeah, obviously looks help, but almost anyone could probably become as good a player as him.
jay1983 Posted May 7, 2014 Posted May 7, 2014 I call it The Pits lol I've met 2 girls on there. First one was a complete train wreck and didn't look anything like her pics. Second one messaged me first, so I met her the other day, she's a sweetheart and although her mannerism is kinda weird, I'm still talking to her. This is after a lot of messages and girls viewing my profile and moving on. lol
jay1983 Posted May 7, 2014 Posted May 7, 2014 If you put together a clever message, you might get a response but the conversation won't lead to anything. They're basically just thanking you for the nice message. Here's the red pill for you guys that are wondering why your having problems. Results of my online dating experiment
normal person Posted May 7, 2014 Posted May 7, 2014 1. My friends and I do not have issues finding quality women to date so we do not need online dating. Neither do I, but why limit yourself? I'm not talking about you (or your friends) specifically, but people in general. 2. My friends and I online dating just isn't our thing. Attracts a lot of undesirables, it's unromantic and the stigma associated with it alone is not one we want attached to us. The "undesirables" are easily dismissed. There are plenty of people who are perfectly desirable. There are doctors, ivy league grads, etc. This year I've been out with a Broadway star and a girl off a soap opera. There's an Oscar winner on there. Here's the thing: I wouldn't have met them otherwise. The big thing that you're discounting about the whole process is that affords you the opportunity to meet people who aren't in your immediate vicinity. It's much more efficient in the sense that it doesn't limit you by the specific 1000 square feet that you're in. And if there is a stigma to it, it's losing its luster pretty quickly as technology advances. If you're doing fine without it, more power to you. But I personally don't see any reason not to augment what I've already got going on. Your first mistake is to think for a woman. Your second mistake, to care what they think. Mehhh... I'm not here complaining. The things I do are with good cause. I don't really care what a girl thinks unless I end up liking her. I don't have any complaints about my OLD experience. My friends and I are not disrespectful, rude, incident, inappropriate, etc. It's usually us walking up to someone we find attractive, introducing ourselves, have some small talk and ask them out. Some women are busy, some have BFs and some are not interested. It's very rare that a woman will be rude to you if you are smiling, engaging, respectful and charming. I am probably told 90% that it was nice / thoughtful of me or they thanked me for asking them out. However, many times they are interested and would like to get to know me better. The best way for me to do that is via a date (face to face) not online or through a text message. Same here. But like I said, I don't see a reason to limit myself. If someone wants to message me and get the ball rolling on her own, I'm not gonna stop her if I like what I see. I wouldn't have met her otherwise. You don't have anything to lose by doing it, but you stand to gain a lot. Instead of learning how to overcome rejection, learn how to be charming, engaging, interesting, personable, etc. They give up on "In Real Life" and take to online dating. They still have the same fundamental issues and it manifest itself in online dating as well. Their only prayer, avoid all the "crazies" that online attracts and find a "good" person of the opposite sex who has their same social dating "issues". Agree, more or less. I see a problem on the horizon with more guys who are too dependent on technology coming of age and not learning the in person fundamentals. Those are the guys I worry about. From what I see here and the guys I know who online date, I bet 90% of them have STOPPED or NEVER "cold approaches" a women they do not know and not a "friend" with in real life. Agree, they're probably the ones who aren't successful with either method.
saltyfishhead666 Posted May 7, 2014 Posted May 7, 2014 Was that his profile picture or something? It was, followed by a picture of his face and one of some form of cock pump looking devices with a vibrating rabbit attached (like the little ones you can on cock rings) But the penis one was his actual profile picture haha
saltyfishhead666 Posted May 7, 2014 Posted May 7, 2014 Please tell me you're kidding. I was just talking to a guy that does OLD and he said that he get guys messaging him. Nothing wrong with men looking for men, but if you're a man looking for a woman, thats messed up. Not even slightly kidding, if I could show you I would. The bit that made me giggle even more is that he was looking for women, for "long lasting meaningful relationship" Somehow me thinks someone is fibbing
crederer Posted May 7, 2014 Posted May 7, 2014 Dating sites are strictly 100 percent based on looks for both parties. This is why I avoid them (not that I'm ugly just the whole thing seems shallow)
crederer Posted May 7, 2014 Posted May 7, 2014 It was, followed by a picture of his face and one of some form of cock pump looking devices with a vibrating rabbit attached (like the little ones you can on cock rings) But the penis one was his actual profile picture haha bahaha. When I broke up with my ex my parents were helping me move out and my mom found a similar device in my gf's bathroom cabinet. Yeah it wasn't an awkward moment at all. 1
saltyfishhead666 Posted May 7, 2014 Posted May 7, 2014 bahaha. When I broke up with my ex my parents were helping me move out and my mom found a similar device in my gf's bathroom cabinet. Yeah it wasn't an awkward moment at all. Ok now I am laughing hahahaha!! I once found one in my mothers sock draw while looking for tights (that she asked me to go get) I am never going near her stuff again
Kid_Charlemange Posted June 13, 2014 Posted June 13, 2014 I've done the regular dating thing and even more OLD thing on a variety of sites over the years and all I have to say about OLD is that it's simply an enormous online shopping catalog! Great post. I think you've hit the nail on the head. OLD can be so specific. For instance, on OKCupid there are over 1,000 questions, and you can filter out any matches that don't answer exactly the way you want. It is just like shopping for a car: I want a silver 2013 model x with a manual transmission, GPS, gray leather, less than 30,000 miles, etc. People aren't like that... people are unique, every one of them, and all of them have flaws. And, to stretch my metaphor, none of them are "certified pre-owned"
DArtagnan2 Posted June 13, 2014 Posted June 13, 2014 I would direct you to the post where a guy did an experiment to prove that women are, but to be honest, is this a question where we dont already know the answer? C'mon man, of course...
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