J21 Posted May 4, 2014 Posted May 4, 2014 Ugh, I get asked this whenever we have a family reunion with my aunt/uncle of some sort. To them it seems like it's the next step and I should just get on with it. I give them the "I haven't met the right person" speal and they'd be like: "you should find a church and meet a nice girl there". I know they mean well, but like wtf? hahaha 2
DArtagnan2 Posted May 4, 2014 Posted May 4, 2014 Ugh, I get asked this whenever we have a family reunion with my aunt/uncle of some sort. To them it seems like it's the next step and I should just get on with it. I give them the "I haven't met the right person" speal and they'd be like: "you should find a church and meet a nice girl there". I know they mean well, but like wtf? hahaha Oh man, I wont tell you how many people have said to me in the past this very thing. Guess what, I go to Church. Where is she? Should I switch Churches? (joking really)
Gaeta Posted May 4, 2014 Posted May 4, 2014 "I am hard to please" or "Interested?" are more playful, fun, humerus, cocky / sassy. You say in very few words that you are confident, self-assured, don't take crap from anyone, have high expectations, you call into question whether the guy / girl has "what it takes", give them something to shoot for (a challenge), etc. As someone with a lot of online dating experience I would be turned off by that answer. I would view someone with this answer as someone who's playing the field and in no way serious about finding the one. I would also view him as someone dropping interesting dates for superficial reasons like one of her ear is higher than the other one. Being picky to me is the same as being superficial. You don't want to appear cocky-sassy. Among the 200 messages I got 90% were cocky and sassy, over confident, and I discarded them. If you got me to get in my car and drive that 20km to meet you, you better not be cocky when I get there and make me feel like you are narrow minded. 1
Author Sweett Posted May 4, 2014 Author Posted May 4, 2014 Just in general, I get tired of that question from people who don't know me that well. People look at you like you like there must be something wrong because I'm 33 and have never been married. Yet I look around and see so many dysfunctional marriages and relationships. Somehow, they are better than me??? Good point and i hear the divorce rate is high. I'll be 35 next month and never married.
Author Sweett Posted May 4, 2014 Author Posted May 4, 2014 If they are extremely judgemental honey you wouldn't want to be dating them anyway. Although most people will understand that you don't go too in depth. Heck I'm 26, have two children by two dads and I'm divorced... I wouldn't be telling my date my back story off the get go even if I'm not responsible for half the tosh that happened. You don't owe your date anything. So relax and tell as much as you choose too. Everyone's got a past Yes everyone has a past! Andd the ones who seemed so judgmental turned out to be jerks
Author Sweett Posted May 4, 2014 Author Posted May 4, 2014 Ugh, I get asked this whenever we have a family reunion with my aunt/uncle of some sort. To them it seems like it's the next step and I should just get on with it. I give them the "I haven't met the right person" speal and they'd be like: "you should find a church and meet a nice girl there". I know they mean well, but like wtf? hahaha I think that why my ex got married so fast.... Family "pressures"
Hopeful30 Posted May 4, 2014 Posted May 4, 2014 I hate that question. "You're so great, you're so beautiful, why are you single?" I understand it's meant as a compliment but it's really annoying cuz the truth is, I don't want to be single. Just tell him you haven't met the right person yet. I think that's an appropriate response and won't generate more questions from him.
MrNate 2.0 Posted May 4, 2014 Posted May 4, 2014 So i have a date today with someone who has good potential and i want things to go good but i have issues with these questions: how long have u been single, why are u single, and what happened". The real answers are i've been single 3 years because my ex cheated on me then left me and he got me fired from my old job. Most people just have to deal with and recover from a breakup but i had to deal with breakup and job loss thanks to him so it took me more time to heal. Its still upsetting sometimes but i don't want to tell all of this on a first date so what do i say? Any advice would be helpful. "Because like you, I chose to be." Done.
jaycee1 Posted May 4, 2014 Posted May 4, 2014 I am surprised a lot of dates don't ask me specifically, especially on 1st date why I am single. I do get a lot of comments of I can't believe your single etc.. but they never really ask. The few that had asked I either respond "I chose to focus on my daughter and not have men in and out of her life" or if it is another person my age never married asking I make a joke about marriage etc.. The daughter thing is very true but also being 39 and never married has never been a thing to me. Most of all I would rather be single than settle. I also would rather be with someone that really understands that thinking as well. If he doesn't get it, then wouldn't you think he may just be settling on you if you continue to date him?
FitChick Posted May 4, 2014 Posted May 4, 2014 "I've been waiting for you." "Sometimes you can meet the right man at the wrong time." "I only dated men in the entertainment industry. Now I prefer someone normal." "I never wanted kids, so I didn't have to settle for the wrong man."
StanMusial Posted May 4, 2014 Posted May 4, 2014 Just don't be offended by the question... sometimes the reaction to the question is more telling than any answer that might be offered up. From what you have posted here there is nothing that you should be ashamed of or worried about in particular. I think women have a harder time with this question than men. I was single for a couple of years and some of my friends' wives just assumed I was some sort of playboy that hung out in strip clubs every weeknight and went clubbing every weekend. Neither one was true lol but people are going to think what they are going to think. IF you get that question, you could just say your last relationship ended a couple of years ago and since then you have started a new job and working on your career or something or other. You don't have to go into any bad relationship talk or roast your ex on the spot - I would advise against it. 1
Daisy-oliviaWentcher Posted May 4, 2014 Posted May 4, 2014 Ugh, I can imagine the discomfort. When I first discovered and met my gf I thought why a woman in her 40s has never been married. I must admit it was a "soft" yellow-flag for me. I don't believe that people who are single for a long period of time or never married after a certain period of time have "healthy" reasons for such a drought. SOMETHING has kept you from not having a relationship and it is rarely "just because...." Too busy with a career, in a LT, dysfunctional relationship for too long or unhealthy perspective on relationships and what at a loss as to what a healthy one looks like, negative view of life, too selfish, too clingy, too bytchy, too introverted, too reclusive....etc. I find that dating in this day and age to be an adventure of dysfunction. For some people, and I am one, knowing your history matters. It can tell me a lot about YOU and the types of people YOU date. How YOU view relationships and perhaps, after a while, whether the Do you think someone who has been single for a long time has less to offer who hasnt? I am stronger as a woman because I've been single for a long time. I have more to offer in a way because I've had less drama to deal with. Relationships do not make you more "desirable " as a person. It's not like " oh she's hot and desirable because in 10 years she's had two long term relationships". People aren't nut cases because they've had less success dating... and when should society ( or you) expect you to married at the age of 40? That's a very high expectation indeed!
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