Messed It Up With An Awesome Girl. Rejected & Cold. Now She Wants Me To Try Again?

[Haydaman712]

I'll try to make this as short as possible. I've made it into a short narrative to make the reading easier. Hope to hear your feedback!

 

Last semester there was this beautiful girl who kept showing me sign after sign that she wanted me. (We were in a group project together from September to late November. I was the group leader and I called the shots) One day while designating the "creative" group role, the girl in question stated that she wasn't creative and that I should just skip over her entirely for that position. However I disagreed with her and told her with a smile that she was creative, and that she could handle the task just fine. She responded to me with a 5 second "Come get me" stare that left me with chills up and down my spine and butterflies all around my stomach. The other two girls in the group just stared at us both while she stared at me. When someone you want badly wants you right back in the same way...let me tell you the feeling you experience is ineffably intoxicating and dream-like.

 

I eventually asked her out. For our first date I took her to a restaurant for dinner on a December night right before Christmas. It was during a festive holiday parade on our universities main street (had not planned..made the night magical)

 

We sat by the restaurants street-side window that was draped in an assortment of dim lit Christmas lights...and we were watching the parade. To my surprise I wasn't nervous one bit. I've never been so comfortable with a girl before. It felt like I was in a dream because nothing mattered...not a thing... except her. I (think) she felt the same way too. It was just the glow she had as she talked/listened back and forth. Plus I would not have asked her out if she hadn't given me a 5 second dreamy eyed "come get me look" after I complimented her on group work to indicate interest.

 

I hadn't even planned on taking her home. But she came right along with me. On a 15 foot wide side walk, of which I eventually began to maneuver in a serpentine pattern, she would not stop bumping into me. At the time I was oblivious and kept trying to give her space when she got near...I thought it just might be her high heels and the 200 year old side walk. Turns out she might have wanted to hold hands . As we got inside she asked me 3-4 times if anyone was home. I replied with an affirmative yes every time. And instead of touching her and kissing her, I had her come up to the second and third floor of my apartment so that I could parade her off to my roommates like a trophy. That lasted 20 minutes. By the time we got downstairs she gave me a small window. I offered to watch to a movie with her and pre-game for the night but she said she had to go. She stood and waited for my goodbye. I hugged her (**** you bro) and she said she would text me so that we could hang out at the bar later that night. I never got that text.

 

But at 2:30 AM she explained that she had no service inside of the bar she was texting from. It is true that this bar does not get any service while you're inside.... But I know that she could have walked outside to call or text. So 5 hours after our date had ended she texted me. First she tried to cover her ass. Then she asked if I had gone out anyway. It was obvious to me that she just wanted to know if I had a life. I just answered her honestly. That I did not go out. Which was a big mistake. Then I texted her that I had a great time and we should hang out the following night since plans didn't work out after dinner. She never responded.

 

I ended up texting her 3 more times over the course of the next three to four weeks, once to say merry Christmas. When I finally asked her out on a second date she said that she wasn't usually around the university and she would let me know. (she lives about 2 hours away)

 

To make things worse I shot her another text two days later saying that I would be at school on a specific date...and that I had lots of fun things planned for a night out if she chose to accept. Admittingly I had become so very weak at this point...I basically gave this girl an ultimatum date to come see me over break even though she lives two hours away without even seeing if she was available. And it wasn't even at school, but Philadelphia. All after she said she would let me know 2 days before. I even creepily added "Come hungry and forget the heels"... Damn looking back it seems so stupid. Anyway after a day of no response I understood that I had screwed up. This was the first time she had not answered one of my texts. But I chose to accept it like a man. I sent her no other texts. I deleted her number. And I left her alone for good.

 

So to recap...our first date was in the middle of December. and the last text I sent her was in the very beginning of January.

 

When school started again in mid to late January I spotted her at the universities most popular bar for Thursday's Happy Hour. Her friends were staring and smiling, some giggling and laughing. I knew she must have told them everything, like most young girls do with their girlfriends. But I had made sure that I hadn't told a soul about our date. Not even my dog Rex. And he's usually good at keeping secrets . Only my roommates whom I paraded her in front of like a blind idiot knew that I went out with her that night in December. Even then I did not tell them a thing. Meanwhile in the club she ignored me wholely and completely. I merely kept my masculine composure the best I could. I showed nothing, no emotion, not one thing. Appearing unaffected and emotionless, despite feeling something very deep. It is the lack of emotion that has always been a strong suit of mine (for better or worse). And as far as anyone could tell I was completely unaffected by her and her friends. I was a rock. I was immovable and centered. I was solid, serene, and stoic. But deep down behind all my defenses it felt like my heart was obliterated into a million irreparable fragments. My heart felt like jelly. It felt like it was being wrung out to dry, and then crushed. Rinse and repeat x10. I would not see her again in person for 3 months.

 

This girl was the first and only girl, that made me completely forget/not care about my high school sweetheart of which I had parted ways with the summer before. Whom I was with for 4.5 years. I did not think it was possible for another girl to reduce me to a fragile child-like boy state again, like in high school, and reawaken that sleeping puppy love that most people only experience once in their lives. But she did. I tried my best just to forget her and focus on my life, school, and my health. I hit the books, and the gym with a renewed vigor. I thought I was in great shape when I met her. But today, I am now in a physical and mental state that I had once only dreamed possible. I feel unreal. Today, right now in this very moment, I am the best man that I can be. Until tomorrow comes. And looking back on my hardships and work ethic, it sends chills down my spine.

 

But three weeks ago in the middle of April, 3 months after I had last seen her, there she was. I was on my way to class, it was raining,mucky, humid, and uncomfortable. As I looked up from my phone she was already staring at me. Her friend walking next to her was talking right to her, but she remained unresponsive gazing right at me. As she was several yards away her deep gaze turned into the brightest smile. For a second I forgot about the rain, the muck, and the humidity. As our paths crossed I did not stop to have a conversation with her. I merely let her pass and smiled. I said ..."Hey Samantha". And then proceeded to walk to my class.

 

Since late April to the present I've been seeing her every few days. We just exchange smiles and short greetings in passing. After several of these "run-ins" I saw her at the bar again two weekends ago. This is the very same bar where she went ice-cold on me in January. But this time her friends were all staring with inquisitively dim eyes, instead of laughing with their previous sarcastic giggles. One of her friends who was alone at the time had been staring over in my direction for several minutes. And then low and behold my girl shows up to greet her. Sam, along with all of her friends make their way over to me and posse. At this point her friends are literally back-to-back with my friends. All the while she stands literally 10 feet away facing directly towards me. But she makes no attempt to acknowledge me, or approach me. But it's so damned obvious that I can spot her staring out of my peripheral when I look away. And even though she's right there, I would still be going out of my way to approach her. She rejected me. And while I don't believe in holding grudges, I still don't think it's fair of her to expect me to run the chance of recycling the fresh wound of rejection allover again.

 

So with the circumstances:

 

I started to become weak when I had developed feelings for her. I should have ignored her after she blatantly and intentionally brushed me off later that night after our date. Instead of being the dominant man I was as the group project leader, I instead became an emotional little boy. I lost self control and composure. And while I didn't blow up her phone every two seconds or beg...I looked needy. Before I asked her out on a date she would text me compliments about how I was leading the group so well, etc...In turn I just kept spoiling all the fun by revealing too much about myself over text message in my replies instead of in person. And I was the last one to text anything between the two of us. Instead of leaving my text open for her to reach out to me, I feel like I instead closed it off with the ultimatum I gave her. And it was an unintentionally creepy in that I pretty much put her into the role of my girlfriend way too son. So I feel like that if she does want to give me another chance she's afraid that I will flat out reject her.

 

I feel like one of the problems the first time around is that we started off almost as business partners. It made it hard to transition into flirting, teasing, and touching after being so singularly focused on a school project for over two months. I have recently gotten her number back from a mutual friend. There is literally one week left in the semester. After which I may never see her again. And I want to try a go at a second chance. Do you think it's weak if I reach out to her? I feel like nearly 4 months of leaving her completely alone is long enough. Especially because now I feel like when she sees me she just remembers all the positives aspects of when we spent time together. She just has that look in her eye for me like she did so many months ago.

 

If I text her. What do I say? How do I phrase it? Obviously she knows there is only a week left in the semester too.... How do I make it so I give this another go the right way? How do I get my dream girl back again?

Edited May 4, 2014 by Haydaman712

[Neith]

Just ask her. If you don't, you're just gonna kick yourself and wonder "what if" for a long time.

 

Take a chance. The worst that happens is she says no. Then at least you know where you stand, right?

It might feel crap...but life goes on!

[dispatch3d]

well I'm pissed. Like 6 paragraphs and only 2 of them carried any content. At any rate I wouldn't bother texting her (and i thought you deleted her number?). At the club you should have just went over to say hi to at least be polite, not to mention she has girlfriends there that you could potentially date.

 

Lastly you are like the definition of putting the pussy on a pedestal. Holy crap man. It was one date.

[Eternal Sunshine]

Woah. This whole thing pretty much happened in your head.

 

Here is the reality:

 

She went on one date with you. Perhaps she was on the fence and wanted to see if spending alone time with you will ignite the spark. For whatever reason, she wasn't feeling it and didn't want to pursue it further. So she gave you polite indifference because you go to the same school.

 

The End.