inlin Posted May 4, 2014 Posted May 4, 2014 I know that shes gone and she doesn't even want to hear from me. You figure with everything that we have gone through such as an abortion, me aiding her with he depression by being there for her when she wants to kill herself, her living at my parents for a month, visiting her in a foreign country and forgiving her for giving me a STD early on the relationship that she would love me and appreciate what I did for her. I just hate myself because I miss her and still love her.... I feel so ****ing used and such an idiot for being so considerate and understanding and helping when she was in time of need. She left the relationship because her feelings changed about me.... how is that even ****ing possible with all the **** I was doing for her. And she blocked me on facebook and when trying to talk to her she acts like shes hurt or that I'm the terrible person. Jesus christ. 2
DontBreakEven Posted May 5, 2014 Posted May 5, 2014 I feel so ****ing used and such an idiot for being so considerate and understanding and helping when she was in time of need. She left the relationship because her feelings changed about me.... how is that even ****ing possible with all the **** I was doing for her. And she blocked me on facebook and when trying to talk to her she acts like shes hurt or that I'm the terrible person. Jesus christ. Inlin .. It sounds just from these paragraphs that your ex is a very broken person. My ex was the same way. It is NOT about you (which is tragic in itself because that means there is nothing you can do to change it). Do not ever feel like an idiot for loving someone well, no matter if they deserved it or not. You are the good person. You have a heart and feelings and of course you are going to miss her, because you ARE a good person. You must drill it into your head to not take this personally. Ever heard the line "it's not you, it's me"? Sometimes it's dead on. It's her. 5
Author inlin Posted May 5, 2014 Author Posted May 5, 2014 Inlin .. It sounds just from these paragraphs that your ex is a very broken person. My ex was the same way. It is NOT about you (which is tragic in itself because that means there is nothing you can do to change it). Do not ever feel like an idiot for loving someone well, no matter if they deserved it or not. You are the good person. You have a heart and feelings and of course you are going to miss her, because you ARE a good person. You must drill it into your head to not take this personally. Ever heard the line "it's not you, it's me"? Sometimes it's dead on. It's her. Well its funny because she did use that line. I didn't know how to take it.
Jiivy Posted May 5, 2014 Posted May 5, 2014 Well its funny because she did use that line. I didn't know how to take it. Take it for what it is. You are capable of giving love in cases where many others would harden, would refuse...I'm willing to bet there were people out there who looked at you funny for keeping things with her despite everything. Know that it takes an exceptional kind of resolve and an ability to see light in those that others may not see. I suppose I could call you stupid, tell you "well it's obvious she wasn't good for you and now look at you!" I'm just posting to say that I love you for giving someone that kind of heart. Thank you.
Author inlin Posted May 5, 2014 Author Posted May 5, 2014 Take it for what it is. You are capable of giving love in cases where many others would harden, would refuse...I'm willing to bet there were people out there who looked at you funny for keeping things with her despite everything. Know that it takes an exceptional kind of resolve and an ability to see light in those that others may not see. I suppose I could call you stupid, tell you "well it's obvious she wasn't good for you and now look at you!" I'm just posting to say that I love you for giving someone that kind of heart. Thank you. Thank you. I tried really hard : / I always have this stupid voice in the back of my mind that she'll realize one day the mistake she made and call me back. I don't want to think that. I'm trying to accept it but I just cant fully for some reason. I'm also afraid that I wont be as trusting and open as I have been before in my next relationship. 1
FredJones80 Posted May 5, 2014 Posted May 5, 2014 Thank you. I tried really hard : / I always have this stupid voice in the back of my mind that she'll realize one day the mistake she made and call me back. I don't want to think that. I'm trying to accept it but I just cant fully for some reason. I'm also afraid that I wont be as trusting and open as I have been before in my next relationship. I understand everything you say here, I feel the same. 1
jt27 Posted May 5, 2014 Posted May 5, 2014 A lot of what is being said applies to me as well. My ex of a month sounds very similar to yours inlin. I sacrificed a lot of myself to help her but in the end it wasn't enough. There is no such thing as enough for these types. She wanted a perfect relationship/guy. We all know that doesn't exist. My family said afterwards how long I could tolerate her crap. I did it because I love her and care so much about her...just like you did. I am proud that I did this for her and you should be too. She had serious issues and I couldn't solve them. Nobody can but her. She is obviously very confused/broken. She also gave me the line "maybe its me". It indeed is. Just take solice in the fact you were a great b/f, like I was to my ex, and realize you are better for it. I also like to think that I will be "the one that got away". If indeed I am, she won't realize this until she get crapped on like we did. Can't wait around for that to happen my friend. Guys like you and me are rare to put up with such crap and still love these women. That's just who we are. I'm afraid I may end up jaded just like you said but I keep telling myself that she wins if I do that. Don't go changing. I miss my ex like crazy and most of the time I think she is the one for me...even after being so cold to me. There is a girl out there that will appreciate the kindness, understanding, patience, and unconditional love we show them. When that happens...I suspect it will be bliss. 2
Author inlin Posted May 5, 2014 Author Posted May 5, 2014 A lot of what is being said applies to me as well. My ex of a month sounds very similar to yours inlin. I sacrificed a lot of myself to help her but in the end it wasn't enough. There is no such thing as enough for these types. She wanted a perfect relationship/guy. We all know that doesn't exist. My family said afterwards how long I could tolerate her crap. I did it because I love her and care so much about her...just like you did. I am proud that I did this for her and you should be too. She had serious issues and I couldn't solve them. Nobody can but her. She is obviously very confused/broken. She also gave me the line "maybe its me". It indeed is. Just take solice in the fact you were a great b/f, like I was to my ex, and realize you are better for it. I also like to think that I will be "the one that got away". If indeed I am, she won't realize this until she get crapped on like we did. Can't wait around for that to happen my friend. Guys like you and me are rare to put up with such crap and still love these women. That's just who we are. I'm afraid I may end up jaded just like you said but I keep telling myself that she wins if I do that. Don't go changing. I miss my ex like crazy and most of the time I think she is the one for me...even after being so cold to me. There is a girl out there that will appreciate the kindness, understanding, patience, and unconditional love we show them. When that happens...I suspect it will be bliss. Heh looks like we both think alike. I kind of hope that I will be the one that got away as well. It's the sudden shock of losing someone that you cared for so much that really hits you as well. I wasn't a pushover though but I was very considerate.
jt27 Posted May 5, 2014 Posted May 5, 2014 I am still feeling the shock too, no doubt. Most of my days are filled with thoughts of her. It's getting a tiny bit easier though. I never meant to imply you are a pushover. Either was I. Just that no matter how much you do for some and how considerate you are, in the end it isn't enough. Feeling unappreciated is an awful feeling.
organizedchaos Posted May 5, 2014 Posted May 5, 2014 I am still feeling the shock too, no doubt. Most of my days are filled with thoughts of her. It's getting a tiny bit easier though. I never meant to imply you are a pushover. Either was I. Just that no matter how much you do for some and how considerate you are, in the end it isn't enough. Feeling unappreciated is an awful feeling. I'll chime in and say I'm with you guys too. Pretty similar story. It will hit our ex's one day that they really screwed up. It will be too late, unfortunately, but it will happen. 1
FredJones80 Posted May 5, 2014 Posted May 5, 2014 I'll chime in and say I'm with you guys too. Pretty similar story. It will hit our ex's one day that they really screwed up. It will be too late, unfortunately, but it will happen. I have to agree, its rather sad though. 1
DontBreakEven Posted May 5, 2014 Posted May 5, 2014 I have to agree, its rather sad though. Oh it's completely tragic.
Recommended Posts