still_an_Angel Posted May 4, 2014 Posted May 4, 2014 Many would consider this below the belt and totally off limits but it does happen. I would like to hear everyone's views on this nonetheless. 1. if you are the MM or MW, would you take your AP to your marital bed? what would be your drive you to do this? 2. if you are the OM or OW, why would you agree to enter the marital home?
MissBee Posted May 4, 2014 Posted May 4, 2014 I would never want to enter into the marital home. Sure wouldn't on either end. If I were the MW I wouldn't dream of doing it and as the OW I would be insulted by such a suggestion. 5
yogachic Posted May 4, 2014 Posted May 4, 2014 I would never be with my MM in either of our marital beds. To me that would so very disrespectful to our spouses. MM & I have no problem getting a hotel room or being in his vehicle so we do not need to ever take 'that route'. I would (and I think my MM as well on my home) would be curious on what his home looked like from the inside. But I don't think we would ever enter into either of our marital homes.
Grumpybutfun Posted May 4, 2014 Posted May 4, 2014 Why? Respect should be given to people, not places and you both disrespected and threw away your marriage once you started having the affair. A marital bed no longer matters because your marriages are over, you should probably inform your former spouses. G 6
Friskyone4u Posted May 4, 2014 Posted May 4, 2014 This is almost humorous. Banging someone else's spouse is on , but in their house is "disrespectful". What would you call the affair, a loving gesture??? 17
violet1 Posted May 4, 2014 Posted May 4, 2014 My exMOM and I never did. When I first sought out an A online, I chatted with (never met) a few guys. There was one who said he had a few affairs and thought it was hot and exciting to have sex in the marital bed. He said that he loved the rush and risk factors. For me, I wanted an escape. I didn't want my A to be intertwined with my real life in any way, shape or form. On the wayward forums there were people who stated sleeping in each others home because of the hotel expenses.
Author still_an_Angel Posted May 4, 2014 Author Posted May 4, 2014 Xmw and I both did. Definitely not proud of it Cheers for all your responses... Rick, I would appreciate your input as to why you brought your AP to your home. Was it because it was convenient? Or an intentional move/message to your wife? Or having sex on the same bed that hasnt seen much action between you and your wife? Apologies for being inquisitive, I'm trying to glean info so I can fully understand something on this issue. Thanks
violet1 Posted May 4, 2014 Posted May 4, 2014 (edited) This is almost humorous. Banging someone else's spouse is on , but in their house is "disrespectful". What would you call the affair, a loving gesture??? This is a very common thought process when you're engaged in an A. I used to think the same way. I used to say to myself that I'm a respectful cheater. I had very strict rules. No social circle affair. No having sex in each other's homes. We didn't even know where each other lived. No texting or seeing each other when kids are home. I didn't want to take time away from his kids. No bashing of each others spouses. I loved the wayward forums because some of the stories made me feel like I wasn't nearly as bad. It all sounds ridiculous now, but at the time I thought it made perfect sense. Edited May 4, 2014 by violet1 1
Darren Steez Posted May 4, 2014 Posted May 4, 2014 I would never be with my MM in either of our marital beds. To me that would so very disrespectful to our spouses. MM & I have no problem getting a hotel room or being in his vehicle so we do not need to ever take 'that route'. I would (and I think my MM as well on my home) would be curious on what his home looked like from the inside. But I don't think we would ever enter into either of our marital homes. Because cheating on your husband is not...disrespectful..might as well bang on the marital bed, you're most likely thinking of your AP when you're laying with your husband anyway no?
Ronnie33 Posted May 4, 2014 Posted May 4, 2014 We have never slept together but I would never have him in my home but he has no problem having me in his house but I won't go. He isn't married but has a serious gf. I have been there in the past but now that she practically lives there I won't.
QuakerOats Posted May 4, 2014 Posted May 4, 2014 No, never went to his home. Never wanted to do so. He did want to though.
OneMess Posted May 4, 2014 Posted May 4, 2014 (edited) I'm not sure i'd call it 'marital bed' since she has her own bed & room. I'm sure they had sex on it, but that was pre-me when things were good between them. Or, he thought they were good. I was going there all the time when she was away. Never in her room though. I didn't have him over to my house till I had my own place. New bed, new mattress...he's the only one I've had sex with on it, but if 'respect' on a mattress is supposed to be a thing, I suppose I should get a new one before I get a new bf? I'll also add that it's his house. He bought it well over 15 years ago and had at least one other long-term relationship while he lived there. That gf lived with him for a time. The wife has only been there 5 years or so. She objects strongly to a patriarchal society, so I have no reason to believe she thinks of it as 'her' house. She doesn't contribute financially to it. Her views are a little ironic since she has no qualms about living off him while she chooses to be super picky about what job she will accept...but that's a whole other rant. Edited May 4, 2014 by OneMess
Smthn_Like_Olivia Posted May 4, 2014 Posted May 4, 2014 This is almost humorous. Banging someone else's spouse is on , but in their house is "disrespectful". What would you call the affair, a loving gesture??? Lol. Agreed. Once you start banging someone's spouse, you are already sleeping in their bed. 1
RickFox Posted May 4, 2014 Posted May 4, 2014 Cheers for all your responses... Rick, I would appreciate your input as to why you brought your AP to yoit wasur home. Was it because it was convenient? Or an intentional move/message to your wife? Or having sex on the same bed that hasnt seen much action between you and your wife? Apologies for being inquisitive, I'm trying to glean info so I can fully understand something on this issue. Thanks Prior the affair we were friends and frequented each other's homes as our kids would play so that was not an issue in the beginning. It was not an intentional move to hurry my wife our send a message but I do think it was part of xmws thought process and I say that because during a session, for lack of a better term, she wanted me to tell her that she was better than my wife so to speak. At first it was very awkward and uncomfortable but over time it just became a bed, and I compartmentalized it. Xmw took the lead on going to my bedroom and bringing me into hers as well. No malice on my part but just a piss poor choice and highly disrespectful, as was the affair to begin with.
Nattie Posted May 4, 2014 Posted May 4, 2014 He's never been in my bed, house, driveway, nothing...but I've been there quite a few times. It's strange, at first when our A was "supposed to be" strictly physical, it didn't bother me at all, but as time goes on and we've fallen in love, I'm more uncomfortable and would rather avoid being anywhere near his house.
bentleychic Posted May 4, 2014 Posted May 4, 2014 (edited) Have been to his house. Sat on his couch. Pet the dogs. And talked. No bed, no sex. Nothing I wouldn't do with any other friend. He's been to my place many, many times, but I'm a single OW. Edited May 4, 2014 by bentleychic
MissBee Posted May 5, 2014 Posted May 5, 2014 This is almost humorous. Banging someone else's spouse is on , but in their house is "disrespectful". What would you call the affair, a loving gesture??? There is such a thing as adding insult to injury. Clearly an affair is bad, but one can certainly do things to add insult to injury and make it even worse. Even if forgiving a spouse for example for an affair, I guarantee if he had the OW in our bed, or around our kids or other things it would make a BIG difference to me versus if he didn't. 1
Fluttershy Posted May 5, 2014 Posted May 5, 2014 I get people who do because it is convenient. After all you already sht on your marriage right? A bed is just a bed the act of sex is the betrayal. I get people who do it for the extra naughtiness. If they are going to be evil my as well go all the way. I get it when people don't because it takes away from the fantasy and is a reminder of how horrible you are being. I get people who don't because of the risk. I get people who don't because it was a line they set up. Honour among theives. But at the end of the day, avoiding the marriage bed doesn't make yor affair any more honourable or better.
joystickd Posted May 5, 2014 Posted May 5, 2014 2. if you are the OM or OW, why would you agree to enter the marital home? Let's see.......because we are both horny and wanted sex. Simple answer. Why even struggle to get answers for things like this. You are trying to get logic out of an emotional thing. No matter what answer given it will make no sense because it's based on emotion and a logical person will see it as such. Two people found an attraction to each other. It's wrong, selfish and unfair, but these people felt that.
SweetClover Posted May 5, 2014 Posted May 5, 2014 Martial bed , marital couch, marital.. Laundry room? Wasn't as more of a smack in the face to her than anything else, wasn't intended to be against anyone.. It just worked out that way.
CanJanus Posted May 5, 2014 Posted May 5, 2014 A bed is just a piece of furniture, and one that is comfortable when it comes to sex. I certainly don't seek out the marital bed, but I don't avoid it either. It is just a place. You would think that a BS would have bigger issues about the sex than the precise location of the activity. 1
BetrayedH Posted May 5, 2014 Posted May 5, 2014 My (ex)wife had sex with her OM on our couch. I later discovered that she wrote a story about it on a hotwife website. In it, she reveled in the fact that I'd never know what they'd done there. Note my avatar.
BetrayedH Posted May 5, 2014 Posted May 5, 2014 You would think that a BS would have bigger issues about the sex than the precise location of the activity. We're quite capable of being disturbed by both. 2
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