Daisy-oliviaWentcher Posted May 3, 2014 Posted May 3, 2014 I have had a long drought of not much dating. It's hard and makes you very sad,lonely and insecure. After a while, you get through it, pretending it's not there and pretending that you're just "fine" . You go travelling, go to college, accept that year after year you'll still be single. You lose weight, put it back on, lose it again. You quit dairy, meat and smoking. You join dance classes, buy houses and sell them. You cultivate a very independent lifestyle. You're happy for your friends getting married but a small silent snag hits you, you realise that you're not getting any younger and you're still single. You go dating, try having sex with loads of different people, stop having sex with loads of different people. And then realise, you know nothing about dating or relationships. You go and then see a counsellor. And then you realise that this is what you should have done ages ago. People who are struggling with dating after years of not much success, remember the most successful relationship you can have, is one with yourself... until you have that sorted, then you can go dating. Since healing, ( the right way) my standards of what I'm looking for have become different. It use to be anyone will do. Now it's anyone who has a steady income and can treat me well. Someone who wants the same things in life that I want, Someone who wants to try having children quite soon after marriage... Someone who doesn't let their past relationships get the better of them, and has very little with their ex's. Someone who has paved a way for themselves. I'm not sure if what I'm looking exists. But trust me, a relationship with yourself, healed, happy, balanced and whole is better than looking for that somebody that "completes" you. They will arrive, when you have arrived to that place when all you need is God to complete you and you are happy being yourself as yourself. Don't look for somebody to complete you. Look for you to complete yourself.
Gaeta Posted May 5, 2014 Posted May 5, 2014 When I did online dating I always put in my profile that I was not looking for someone to 'complete me' as I am already whole on my own, I am looking for someone to share my already existing happiness. I also had a long journey. Married 15 years, then 4, then single 8 years. Those 8 years alone I have learn more about relationships and men than in my 19 years of being a wife. I think my years of single-hood make me strong and quite unique on the dating market. To me it's an asset. If I am with a man after 8 years being alone it's because I CHOSE so, not because I need to. I have also learn in my journey that I can and will survive anything. Men will come and go, they will break my heart but they will never break me. I have seen it all, abuse, cheating, abandonment, and I am still here kicking @sses.
gaius Posted May 5, 2014 Posted May 5, 2014 I wish you the best. If you find what you're looking for be sure to come back and let us know, always love a story with a happy ending for those who deserve it.
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