pining Posted February 6, 2005 Posted February 6, 2005 I have been seeing this guy for 3 months now. We have steaming sex. When we first started to date, we kiss each other. Once I had a cold sore outbreak, he refused to kiss me on that date and I understood that. But what confused me is that from that on, he always avoid kissing me. He just went straight to intercourse. Is there something wrong here? Or, that is really because of my cold sore?
Merin Posted February 6, 2005 Posted February 6, 2005 Okay.. well not kissing someone because they have a cold sore understandable.. not kissing someone because they're sick again, understandable.. Still getting it on AND not wanting to kiss you.. uh.. IMO not okay. I can't see why IF you no longer have the cold sore why he doesn't want to kiss you.. I mean for real not to be graphic or anything but uh.. if he's willing to have sex with you.. then yeah.. IMO he can't be to horribly concerned about a cold sore that isn't there anymore Do you initiate kissing him?
DinNJ Posted February 7, 2005 Posted February 7, 2005 OR - take your hands... cup em' together close to your mouth... and breath/sniff. Anything??? Would you wanna kiss you? Hey! ya gotta check once in awhile... cause there were plenty of times that I loved kissing my ex during sex... it goes hand in hand... makes it that much more sexual... but there were sometimes when ..... WOAH! Ewww... I just couldn't do it, but couldn't hurt her feelings either. It got to a point where I had to enforce teeth brushing before going to bed... Not that this is your problem, but it was a problem for me and my ex. Seriously... kissing should always be envolved during sex... have a talk with him.... initiate it like Merin said... if he pulls away and tries to avoid it... you better start asking questions.
SoleMate Posted February 8, 2005 Posted February 8, 2005 Trying to imagine sex without kissing..... ..... .... ...couldn't do it. Not OK, not normal. I do understand his fear of the cold sore virus, aka HSV-2. He should know that 80% of adults in most countries have it.
FoShizzleMyNizzle Posted February 9, 2005 Posted February 9, 2005 Speaking from a man's point of view. I would also not kiss my girl if I found out she had cold sores on her mouth while I had ZERO mouth herpes. Why get myself infected? Nothing wrong with someone protecting his own body, right?
much_better_off Posted February 9, 2005 Posted February 9, 2005 You only have to worry about coming in contact with an infected person during and OUTBREAK, Mr. FoShilzel, see the following. Also, 80% of adults have been exposed to the virus that causes cold sores by the age of 20, some of them never exhibit symptoms, so chances are almost certain you've been exposed, kiddo. Anyhow... If he isn't kissing you anymore (which would be a problem for me... how do you even get all the way through sex without kissing)... I would say you should tell him that it's not ok with you, get some pamphlets on cold sores/ herpes from the doctors office and tell him that you want to continue seeing him, but that he needs to take a look at the facts, understand them, and then agree with you what you two will do about an outbreak should it occur again. If he still won't consider kissing you after learning the medical truth about it, then off he goes... he'd be out of there already with me, you just must be nicer than I am. GOOD LUCK. ~Noel How can they be prevented? They can be prevented by avoiding contact with a person who has a cold sore. Do not kiss a child if you have a cold sore. It is possible to spread cold sores to the genitals through oral sex. Oral sex and kissing should be avoided during an outbreak. Avoiding excessive exposure to wind and sun may also prevent an outbreak. Use sunscreen around the lips while outdoors.
_Saffy_ Posted February 9, 2005 Posted February 9, 2005 Originally posted by FoShizzleMyNizzle Speaking from a man's point of view. I would also not kiss my girl if I found out she had cold sores on her mouth while I had ZERO mouth herpes. Why get myself infected? Nothing wrong with someone protecting his own body, right? nope but as pining said..... Once I had a cold sore outbreak, he refused to kiss me on that date and I understood that. this post isnt about kissing whilst having a cold sore, its about lack of intimacy and affection after the cold sore had gone. IMO, kissing is BIG part of the build up to sex, and a guy wouldnt get anywhere with me without kissing.
Devildog Posted February 9, 2005 Posted February 9, 2005 Well, he doesn't want to make contact with your mouth because of a cold sore, enforce that to the fullest extent. Don't go down on him. Tell him you wouldn't want to infect him with your nasty cold sores. He will get the hint eventually.
Merin Posted February 9, 2005 Posted February 9, 2005 Originally posted by Devildog Well, he doesn't want to make contact with your mouth because of a cold sore, enforce that to the fullest extent. Don't go down on him. Tell him you wouldn't want to infect him with your nasty cold sores. He will get the hint eventually. Exactly. Thats what I was trying to say in my first DevilDog.. While I can understand that he didn't want to kiss her when she had the cold sore, he was still willing to have sex with her (and according to another thread she started on this topic UNPROTECTED SEX at that) so yeah.. the cold sore is gone now.. but he doesn't want to kiss her YET he's good to go with unprotected sex.. Bah.
much_better_off Posted February 9, 2005 Posted February 9, 2005 Originally posted by Merin I can understand that he didn't want to kiss her when she had the cold sore, he was still willing to have sex with her (and according to another thread she started on this topic UNPROTECTED SEX at that) so yeah.. the cold sore is gone now.. but he doesn't want to kiss her YET he's good to go with unprotected sex.. Bah. Woah, if this is true... DROP HIM. Geesh, this really has nothing to do with a cold sore, I know exactly who you're going out with, he's cut from the same cloth as guys that half of my girlfriends have gone out with. Bah is right! From what I can tell he's a combination of selfish, ignorant, and inconsiderate. YOU CAN DO BETTER THAN THAT. Good luck. XOXO ~Noel
Author pining Posted February 15, 2005 Author Posted February 15, 2005 Last Sunday, I tried to talk to him, but he managed to get me to have sex with him again. It was great as usual, but when I was searching for his lips, he tried to avoid it. I know he is really hot for me. But I don't understand why he has issues with kissing me.
_Saffy_ Posted February 15, 2005 Posted February 15, 2005 kissing is a sign of intimacy....... you remember pretty woman, when julia roberts was a hooker, and one of her rules for sleeping with a customer was no kissing on the lips...........and towards the end when she fell in love with richard gere she let it happen?? he wants to sleep with you but he doesnt want the intimacy.
princessjulieanne Posted February 16, 2005 Posted February 16, 2005 I agree with the Pretty Woman comparison its an intimacy thing and I think a crucial part in a relationship. The last guy I dated didn't like to kiss either and at first I kept telling myself that it didn't bother me but now that I am in a relationship that is all that it should be kissing is one of the most enjoyable parts. I realize now with the sex and little or no kissing I felt cheap and used. Try talking to him and find out whats going on and don't settle there is the right one out there and he will be worth the journey to find him.
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