youngandhopeful Posted February 6, 2005 Posted February 6, 2005 A girl at school has started regularly texting me, which i don't mind, but lately she has started dropping big hints, about going out to the movies and other things. I think she is a nice person but i just dont fancy her, and habe my eye on someone else. how do i tell her that i am not interested without hurting her feelings. (i have been told she cries easily) any help would be great
sweet-oooh Posted February 6, 2005 Posted February 6, 2005 Well it is actually nicer to let her know that youre not interested, she'll get over it, she may be a bit upset but you would have done the right thing.
very-confused-girl Posted February 6, 2005 Posted February 6, 2005 Tell her that you have a girl friend, for example. This way she would not feel that you dont want to go to the movies because you are not attracted to her, but having a girlfriend she would have to accept. It might still be very unpleasant to her for a while but you really CANT tell her the real reason in this case. Woman are meant to be beautiful and desirable and this would lower her confidence a big time. Especially if she is that vulnerable.
Midwest guy Posted February 6, 2005 Posted February 6, 2005 Why does it seem on the rare occasion a girl does stalk a guy, other guys laugh about it and think its funny?
Barby Posted February 6, 2005 Posted February 6, 2005 I don't think you should lie to her about having a girlfriend. (because she may be more hurt if she ever finds out it wasn't true). IMHO it would probably be better to thank her for her interest in you, explain to her that you think she'd make a nice friend (unless of course you don't) then just tell her you're not interested. If she continues to "stalk you" (as you put it) block her IM's, ignore her, and hopefully the problem will go away.
CurlyIam Posted February 6, 2005 Posted February 6, 2005 OR even better, that you're trying to get over your ex - it justifies your partying, if you're clubbin' too. Could tell her she's nice, but right now you don't want "nice" girls . A gentleman!
Mr Spock Posted February 6, 2005 Posted February 6, 2005 Do you want her as a friend to go to movies and such with? Because you can tell her "Look, I don't mind going out to movies and such if we're in a group but I don't want to date you, I like someone else." If you really don't want to hang out with her, tell her "I don't know if you know but I DO like someone else" And if you can't even bring yourself to do that start mentioning the girl you like by name, all the time.
very-confused-girl Posted February 6, 2005 Posted February 6, 2005 I think CurlyIam hit the point. This is really the best excuse - getting over ex. I would really try to be more diplomatic, because telling her that you are not attracted to her might really hurt her. Really, girls are meant to be beautiful and if somebody degrades their beauty it is the worst thing you could ever do to her. It is like if somebody insaulted male ability to......I dont know something that is really characteristic to males - like for example ability to be good at things. Sometimes little lies are necessary because they might help you to create excuse for something that would be hurtfull ani nontactfull otherwise.
Mr Spock Posted February 6, 2005 Posted February 6, 2005 I disagree. If she likes you, telling her you're looking for something different will only prompt her to try to BE that. If you're not attracted to her because you like someone else, tell her that.
Merin Posted February 6, 2005 Posted February 6, 2005 Originally posted by youngandhopeful A girl at school has started regularly texting me, which i don't mind, but lately she has started dropping big hints, about going out to the movies and other things. I think she is a nice person but i just dont fancy her, and habe my eye on someone else. how do i tell her that i am not interested without hurting her feelings. (i have been told she cries easily) any help would be great I don't know IF you really *Need* to tell her that you're not all about dating her.. My guess is this would really embarrass her. I don't recommend telling her either that you have a girlfriend.. instead I guess I would probably play "dumb" to her advances and treat her like a FRIEND.. like one of the "guys" so to speak.. Ask her for a girls opinion on the girl you're interested in.. yes while it will probably bum her out that you're asking her about another girl that you like, at least she won't be embarrassed at having you come out and tell her you don't like her like that, and she will also get the clue that IF you were all about her, you WOULDN'T be asking her for help on another girl.. My 2 cent's.
KissMyTiara Posted February 7, 2005 Posted February 7, 2005 I'm combining Spock and Merin's advice: TREAT her as if she is ONLY a platonic friend. Ask her for advice about how to get the girl you like to like you back. She'll get the hint.
Author youngandhopeful Posted February 10, 2005 Author Posted February 10, 2005 Thanks for all your posts, they helped me alot. I'll let you know what happens (if you want lol)
Hund1976 Posted February 10, 2005 Posted February 10, 2005 I disagree with the being just a friend to her advice. This might end up leading her on more because in the back of her mind she might always be thinking that one night you'll be hanging out and the mood and lighting will be just right and you'll finally get together. Tell her in a nice way you're not interested and then don't do anything that might make her think otherwise.
FoShizzleMyNizzle Posted February 10, 2005 Posted February 10, 2005 Just hang out dude, if she wants more you just draw the line. Dunno about the women's advice in here... but the men in here... pay attention to the advice women in this thread is giving, we've all had received these rejection phrases too - this place is great for getting an advantage over women.
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