Daisy-oliviaWentcher Posted May 2, 2014 Posted May 2, 2014 Why is it that, I can attract plenty of men I'm not interested in but I'm attracted to plenty who aren't interested in me? Is there such thing as mutual chemistry? Is chemistry overrated? Can it grow? I don't believe in the hollywood idea of " eyes fly across the room & suddenly there he/she is" I think because of my track record ( of not succeeding at love) I don't believe in love at first sight, perhaps not even love all together. There is a guy very much interested in me, I'm open to him but not attracted but I wanna give him a shot because I don't see anyone else taking me out on dates! At least he offered! & he's willing! Yet I'm grasping at straws with the men I've been emotionally attached to, as they don't appear to repriocate. Is there a scientific explanation for this? Do others go through this time & time again? Or is there a lie that I'm believing like... I'm not good enough or am I believing that they're not good enough? The guy who likes me acted a lift crazy & asked me to be his girlfriend through a text message like a highschooler! But he's like anyone, not sure how to act around woman he likes. He doesn't have a job... but he has got some goals. I'm 30 and he's 31. Both of us want to settle.
mammasita Posted May 2, 2014 Posted May 2, 2014 It happens to EVERYONE. Don't string this guy along if you're not attracted to him because I promise you it SUCKS when the tables are turned on us. It takes plenty of patience to find that person that you click with but when you do its worth it. 1
Ebman Posted May 2, 2014 Posted May 2, 2014 It does happen to everyone yes. But here is some male advice. It's crappy nasty stinky advice but it's true. The guys that don't seem interested in you might seem interested in you as soon as you are in a relationship. As soon as you start dating the guys who were interested but acting "too casual" might start seeing you in a different light. Like I said this is crappy advice and I'm sure I'm gonna be hated for this but strategically it might be a win-win situation. If it turns out that you actually start to like the guy you are dating and want to stay.... You win... If the one you really love is promted to grow a pair because you're off the market.... You win. 1
Eddie Edirol Posted May 2, 2014 Posted May 2, 2014 Do you feel like the guys that are interested in you are below your league? Do you feel like the guys you like are above your league? If the guys you like are very good looking its possible those guys just want to sleep around and dont need a relationship. Are you one of those women that likes the challenge of winning the guy over? That can become addictive if youre not careful, can also become lonely.
Author Daisy-oliviaWentcher Posted May 2, 2014 Author Posted May 2, 2014 You right ebman and i don't think your advice is stinky. The number of men resurfacing the eve of my bestfriends wedding was staggering. The number of men suddenly " interested " who didn't give her the time of day before, alarmed her. When they see the girl the write-off advancing & happier than before in a new relationship, they crawl like termites outta the woodwork.
Gaeta Posted May 2, 2014 Posted May 2, 2014 The man is 30s, has chronic-depression, no job, and you feel no attraction toward him. Do you want someone just for the sake of having someone! or you want someone to enhance your life? 1
Babolat Posted May 2, 2014 Posted May 2, 2014 I always fall back to the quote about putting yourself in the best place you can be in your life, do what you want to do, get to a "happy" place, be happy with yourself, be happy to be alone and you will start to attract like minded people, male and female.
Author Daisy-oliviaWentcher Posted May 2, 2014 Author Posted May 2, 2014 Do you feel like the guys that are interested in you are below your league? Do you feel like the guys you like are above your league? If the guys you like are very good looking its possible those guys just want to sleep around and dont need a relationship. Are you one of those women that likes the challenge of winning the guy over? That can become addictive if youre not careful, can also become lonely. I'm not a party person so guys who wanna sleep with me are around but not at the places I attend. I'm good looking & have big breasts so I get attention not always the attention I'd prefer to get but attention. The men I like are very much clueless and are sometimes obviously attracted to me but for some reason choose other woman. Only i have caught a man who did like me and I think vice versa staring at me numerous occasions even while he had a gf. I sniggered at it secretly, thinking that the whole irony of the situation was too funny & poor gf. Men who are interested in me seem unsual and unsually desperate. Asking me to be his girlfriend through text is quite full on, especially if he doesn't have a job & I'm trying to ascertain weather I like him or not. In my single life I've travelled around, got an education and moved cities. He's never left the country hasn't worked in a while and just figuring out what he wants to do. I'm wondering if it comes down to life experience & maturity. But that doesn't explain why the man i did like went for a girl over a decade younger than him that hadn't had an awful lot of life experience & still looked at me through the corner of his eye.
Author Daisy-oliviaWentcher Posted May 2, 2014 Author Posted May 2, 2014 The man is 30s, has chronic-depression, no job, and you feel no attraction toward him. Do you want someone just for the sake of having someone! or you want someone to enhance your life? To be fair, he says he's been "healed" of cronic depression & he is homing in on something he wants to do. I'm open towards him because he's lovely but I'm also not sold on him because of these red flags. Noone is perfect. I'm probably not gonna go there with him because I can't lie to myself. I just wanted to know does the whole unrepricated thing happen to people often & what's a way around that & any reasons as to why it may or may not happen.
J21 Posted May 2, 2014 Posted May 2, 2014 Why is it that, I can attract plenty of men I'm not interested in but I'm attracted to plenty who aren't interested in me? This is the story of everyone's life. As for the guy, don't string him along. If the attraction/chemistry is not there, I wouldn't waste time. You could be spending that time searching for/or be with someone you're actually crazy about.
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