Andrea7 Posted May 2, 2014 Posted May 2, 2014 Hi everyone, I was in an online relationship with someone that lives in another country. We met online to learn each others language and fell in love. At least I feel this way. We talked for almost 6 hours that night; the time flew without either one of us realizing it. We continued talking and realized we cared for each other. At first I was reluctant to try this relationship, but she insisted for me to give us a chance so I did. We were great for 5 months. We had plans of meeting each other and for what the future had in store for us, but from one day to the next she changed her mind. She said she couldn't do this anymore. She said she doesn't want us to wait for something that might not happen. She wants us to be friends for now because we do not know the future. She is still trying to save money to come visit me. But why? What for? I don't know what to think. My plans were to go there and teach oral English and be with her, but now I don't know what to do. What do you think? Will she come back to me? Is the saying true, if it's true love it will come back? I know it was only 5 months, but I feel like she is it for me. I cannot explain why I just know it. I do not love easily; it took me 4 years to stop loving my ex and that is because I met her. Should i wait for her? Should i just go teach there and show her that we can be together? What do I do. . Please help. I have asked so many of my friends but they do not know what to think because they have never been in a long distance relationship especially online.
TAV Posted May 2, 2014 Posted May 2, 2014 Have you asked her if there is anyone else? Sounds to me she is keeping her options open.
The Like Fairy Posted May 2, 2014 Posted May 2, 2014 Call it quits and move on. Find somone local that you can actually spend time with. Life is too short!
justwhoiam Posted May 3, 2014 Posted May 3, 2014 If I were you, I'd try to establish if she's saying that because she's going through a negative moment, or because she's giving you clues that you shouldn't pursue her anymore for a specific reason, like she has kind of lost interest in you. In any case, chances with her (for you) seem to be very slim. Start focusing on something/someone else. That'd be wise.
emi Posted May 3, 2014 Posted May 3, 2014 I have gone throught the same thing. My LDR ex bf dumped me but still insist on visiting me in some point in the future, what for? Im not interested in seeing him if he isnt my bf. So it is bunch of crap they made to ease their guilt. And about her, when a woman is in love she doesnt give up easily. A woman basically doesnt need money, expensive thing from their man if they actually in love, so if she give up on you mean she doesnt love you anymore. I suggest you move on 1
Author Andrea7 Posted May 3, 2014 Author Posted May 3, 2014 I asked if she was interested in anyone else and of course she said no. Her friend said she is not the type of person to lie and that she has never done things like she has for me. I also forgot to mention she is Chinese and her friend says she is worried that her parents won't accept us. She is a single child and cannot live them behind. Is she lying??
emi Posted May 3, 2014 Posted May 3, 2014 uhm, maybe she got frustrated with the obstabcle but dude believe me, if she really want to be with you, she will tell u what worry her and try to find a way, not just dump u and stuff
Author Andrea7 Posted May 3, 2014 Author Posted May 3, 2014 Thanks emi. I will try my best not to contact her at all. I get so confused. Why would she still want to come see me if she gets enough money. And why does she want to remain friends in case we are able to live in each others country. I don't get it.
TAV Posted May 3, 2014 Posted May 3, 2014 Sounds like she likes to have you as an option. And it makes her feel less bad about breaking up with you. I doubt it is helping you in any way since you are invested in a real relationship. I think you deserve more. Sorry you are being treated this way.
HeavenOrHell Posted May 4, 2014 Posted May 4, 2014 (edited) It worries me when people talk about moving before they've even met someone You can't be in love before you've even met, it's fantasy, not reality until you've met, you can't know she was the person for you unless you've met, we can have several ones for us in a lifetime anyway. On no account go there and teach just to show her you can be together, sorry but it sounds quite obsessive. I don't believe there's any such thing as 'meant to be', it's a meaningless phrase. I think she is being realistic and, sorry to sound harsh, you're not being realistic. People can be enthusiastic at first in an LDR and then get cold feet when reality sets in. I'd move on. Hi everyone, I was in an online relationship with someone that lives in another country. We met online to learn each others language and fell in love. At least I feel this way. We talked for almost 6 hours that night; the time flew without either one of us realizing it. We continued talking and realized we cared for each other. At first I was reluctant to try this relationship, but she insisted for me to give us a chance so I did. We were great for 5 months. We had plans of meeting each other and for what the future had in store for us, but from one day to the next she changed her mind. She said she couldn't do this anymore. She said she doesn't want us to wait for something that might not happen. She wants us to be friends for now because we do not know the future. She is still trying to save money to come visit me. But why? What for? I don't know what to think. My plans were to go there and teach oral English and be with her, but now I don't know what to do. What do you think? Will she come back to me? Is the saying true, if it's true love it will come back? I know it was only 5 months, but I feel like she is it for me. I cannot explain why I just know it. I do not love easily; it took me 4 years to stop loving my ex and that is because I met her. Should i wait for her? Should i just go teach there and show her that we can be together? What do I do. . Please help. I have asked so many of my friends but they do not know what to think because they have never been in a long distance relationship especially online. Edited May 4, 2014 by HeavenOrHell
emi Posted May 6, 2014 Posted May 6, 2014 Andrea i already give you the answer, she promised to meet you because it will make her feel less bad, it make her appear as a nice person. Its like '' never mind, i know i break his heart but imma promise i will see him to make it it up, i hope he wont hate me.'' etc and bla bla. My ex pull the same trick on me, but guess what. It not gonna work that way. We arent rock, we are human with decent ability to feel some certain way, There is no such thing as breaking my heart and gonna meet me. That isnt logic, why da hell me and you wanna meet someone who doesnt wanna be with us? right? Thats all the matter
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