john1921 Posted May 2, 2014 Posted May 2, 2014 Hey guys, My ex & I broke up about 4 months ago. Haven't had to much contact, just pointless conversations. Come to find out, her best friend was spilling some gossip to a friend of mine (didn't know I know the person she was talking to). She came to me telling me that she expressed so much hatred towards me, saying "I cheated on my ex", that "I got her hopes up and crushed her heart", and other ridiculous lies. I never cheated on her, always kept it real. So what do you guys think?
lauri Posted May 2, 2014 Posted May 2, 2014 Hey guys, My ex & I broke up about 4 months ago. Haven't had to much contact, just pointless conversations. Come to find out, her best friend was spilling some gossip to a friend of mine (didn't know I know the person she was talking to). She came to me telling me that she expressed so much hatred towards me, saying "I cheated on my ex", that "I got her hopes up and crushed her heart", and other ridiculous lies. I never cheated on her, always kept it real. So what do you guys think? Interesting how the gossip always finds a way to you, eh? Who broke up with who?
Author john1921 Posted May 2, 2014 Author Posted May 2, 2014 She broke up with me. Never really had any closure. We always had so much problems because of her mom "claiming" that I was a player and a cheater.
Author john1921 Posted May 2, 2014 Author Posted May 2, 2014 She broke up with me. Never really had any closure. We always had so much problems because of her mom "claiming" that I was a player and a cheater.
lauri Posted May 2, 2014 Posted May 2, 2014 She broke up with me. Never really had any closure. We always had so much problems because of her mom "claiming" that I was a player and a cheater. Okay - I'll tell you what is happening then. She wants to make you out to be the bad guy, maybe because she feels guilty and because you never had that "closure". Usually, during closure, the girl validates her feelings and reasoning for what they did. In the end, this is her way of "ensuring" that her decision was the right one. Maybe she believes you did cheat, maybe she is just doing it and getting her friend to feed it to you so you get the urge to reach out. Either way, it doesn't matter. Let them think you are a player and a cheater all they want - your ex girlfriend does not deserve your attention. Focus your time on a girl who will not do immature things to get your attention and draw you back into her life. She is just itching for an excuse to talk to you and get that "closure" talk. The only closure you need to know is she broke up with you and didn't want to be with you anymore. Let her live with that decision. 3
Author john1921 Posted May 2, 2014 Author Posted May 2, 2014 Really? I feel like that's too much work to be putting up over your ex boyfriend. Still, I can see that happening. She's not a huge gossip head, but sometimes the worst will get a hold of her. Thing is though, we have a bunch of friends and acquaintances... I don't want for be to be labeled a cheater when I never did that. That's why this really caught my attention & pissed me off.
lauri Posted May 2, 2014 Posted May 2, 2014 Really? I feel like that's too much work to be putting up over your ex boyfriend. Still, I can see that happening. She's not a huge gossip head, but sometimes the worst will get a hold of her. Thing is though, we have a bunch of friends and acquaintances... I don't want for be to be labeled a cheater when I never did that. That's why this really caught my attention & pissed me off. You would be surprised what I have read / gone through with ex girlfriends and the lengths they would go through to get your attention (sometimes to see if you still care). Case and point my current ex lol. She may have not intentionally did it to get to you, but she defiantly is looking for a way to paint you as the bad guy and validate that she did the "right thing". In my case, my ex went to extreme measure to turn everyone against me to make people support her decision (her family was furious with her because they loved me). It bothered me a lot.. luckily for me, the people who mattered knew the truth and that's all I cared about. I didn't care about my image with them because if they believed her they clearly did not know the real me. You know the truth and I'm sure the people who are close to you know the truth, so who cares what other people think? All that matters is let her make up stories to make herself feel better. Its not excuse to reach out to her. When people tell you about this, laugh and tell them that you could careless about the stories she is telling.
Author john1921 Posted May 2, 2014 Author Posted May 2, 2014 You know what's crazy? She knows that I am against the whole "cheating" aspect. I really dislike that action.. So for her to go that far and claim that I'm a cheater and this. What kind of person does that? I agree with you though, I need to just let go of everything and move forward and that's what I've been doing, but **** like this really tugs my chain. 1
lauri Posted May 2, 2014 Posted May 2, 2014 You know what's crazy? She knows that I am against the whole "cheating" aspect. I really dislike that action.. So for her to go that far and claim that I'm a cheater and this. What kind of person does that? I agree with you though, I need to just let go of everything and move forward and that's what I've been doing, but **** like this really tugs my chain. Ahhh...see, you notice the key word you pointed out here? She knows this. Like I said, I think its just a ploy for her to get back at you because you went NC and didn't give her the closure talk to make herself feel better. She is making up stories in her head (or has been told false stories and she believes it) to make her feel a lot better for breaking up with you. She wants you to be the bad guy...no she needs you to be it. I understand why it bothers you, but don't cave in and contact her. If she is making up this story she is really immature and not someone you want to be around at this moment.
Michelle ma Belle Posted May 2, 2014 Posted May 2, 2014 You know the truth and I'm sure the people who are close to you know the truth, so who cares what other people think? All that matters is let her make up stories to make herself feel better. Its not excuse to reach out to her. When people tell you about this, laugh and tell them that you could careless about the stories she is telling. Exactly. Who cares what she thinks or says, she's your EX now. If you did nothing wrong, you have nothing to worry about. It's been 4 months already. I doubt that anything you say to her now will change anything so why waste any more time and energy on it. Live and let live and move on.
Author john1921 Posted May 2, 2014 Author Posted May 2, 2014 Thanks you guys! I really appreciate you guys taking the time and helping put some sense into this whole situation. I'll definitely try to move forward without caring what she says or does. 1
movingonnow1 Posted May 2, 2014 Posted May 2, 2014 Thanks you guys! I really appreciate you guys taking the time and helping put some sense into this whole situation. I'll definitely try to move forward without caring what she says or does. One of my ex's did the same thing. Don't stress it dude -- you are better off without someone who needs to lie to make themselves feel better and right.
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