Different views on money and spending???

[ebt100]

Hello all,

 

I'm just curious... a friend recently told me that "money" is the number one reason for divorce.

 

To cut to the chase: if one person is insanely frugal and the other person isn't, is that an irreconcilable difference that precludes the two people from having a good relationship throughout life?

[BikerAccnt]

It depends on if the two can compromise or not.

 

But yeah, money and sex are big divorce factors.

[Ruby Slippers]

I've heard that the big 3 are sex, money, and family.

 

I think you have to be on the same page with regard to all three of these matters - or easily and happily willing to get on the same page.

[carhill]

Probably, the word 'insanely' is instructive, no matter which side of the spending/saving midpoint one falls.

[ThatMan]

Try to think of it as a difference in values. Certain people value money in their own way. What usually happens in my experience is that people marry and merge their bank accounts. Since they value money differently, a frugal man is slighted when his wife spends his money. Likewise, imagine working and handing over your entire paycheck over to your frugal spouse. There's plenty of room for resentment.

 

I've learned how important it is to maintain a certain level of independence in any relationship. I think creating separate bank accounts is a good idea. The better idea is to search for people with similar values.

[TXGuy]

 

To cut to the chase: if one person is insanely frugal and the other person isn't, is that an irreconcilable difference that precludes the two people from having a good relationship throughout life?

 

If the other person who 'isn't' is frugal, but not insanely so, it might work. If the other person is even just a bit of a spendthrift (or moreso), then it has little hope.

[amaysngrace]

It can work if you let the better money manager be in charge of the finances but just make sure that the one who isn't in charge is okay with the way the budget is decided.

[Els]

It depends on which part of the spectrum the 'not insanely frugal' person is. Someone who enjoys a nice dinner now and then is 'not insanely frugal', but still very different from someone who spends thousands of dollars a month on entertainment.

 

Also some 'insanely frugal' people are very frugal with their own expenditure but happy to have a partner who is slightly different. Some can even be very generous towards others, just frugal by themselves. Too many factors.

[Emilia]

If the person who isn't insanely frugal allows the other to control finances, it won't be so bad. People that are very careful with money often grew up under difficult circumstances. If the partner can understand and accommodate that, it can probably work.