TylerDurdenn Posted May 1, 2014 Posted May 1, 2014 Apologies, another thread from me.. So we've decided where and when we are going, now we just have to book it. However I'm getting the impression that she thinks that I am paying for the hotel for both of us - this is not the case. I am 21 and travelling half way around the world to meet this girl and am paying a substantial amount of money to do so. There is simply no way I can budget for this, and IMO it takes the piss a bit as I wouldn't expect anyone to do that for me.. So how can I clarify that she must pay for her own flights and her share of the hotel costs in the most diplomatic way possible? Thank you for any advice..
FitChick Posted May 1, 2014 Posted May 1, 2014 Why bother with a long distance relationship if you know neither you nor she can afford it? 3
justwhoiam Posted May 1, 2014 Posted May 1, 2014 So we've decided where and when we are going, now we just have to book it. So, is it a vacation away from where both of you live? I'm getting the impression that she thinks that I am paying for the hotel for both of us ... how can I clarify that she must pay for her own flights and her share of the hotel costs in the most diplomatic way possible? Simply ask: what is you budget per night? Per day? So that I can rule out some hotels depending on their rate... She says: $80 You say: OK. So I guess we can afford something around $120 per night plus taxes. I will get a selection of hotels and then send you the list to choose from.
d0nnivain Posted May 1, 2014 Posted May 1, 2014 You just have to be straight with her. You have been given some diplomatic suggestions. What is going to happen if she does say she thought you were footing the whole bill & since you are not, now she can't afford it?
FitChick Posted May 1, 2014 Posted May 1, 2014 I just remembered this was the airhead who thought her expired visa would not be a problem and was promptly deported. If she does pay for her own flight, don't count on her to pay for anything else because she will conveniently forget or lose her credit card. 3
InnocentMan Posted May 1, 2014 Posted May 1, 2014 I missed the conclusion of that story, is that what happened, she got deported? Thought she was taking a risk at the time. If you can't discuss money openly with someone, then it's always going to be a problem. The best is way is probably just to ask her how much she can afford to spend on hotels, flights etc. If both of you are relatively poor, then an LDR is going to be a constant struggle. It's a rich man's game to do it properly. 4
Michelle ma Belle Posted May 2, 2014 Posted May 2, 2014 This might be the time to have that special talk with her. Part of being in a LDR, particularly one where you both live a fair distance from one another, is the expense that couples incur in the effort to be together. I think that it is only fair that those expenses be split evenly or at least arranged in a way where you each take a turn paying for something. To assume that one person will pick up the entire tab at all times isn't fair (unless you're dating a sugar daddy or mommy of course ) I think you just have to bite the bullet and have a very candid chat about how your LDR is going to work from a financial point of view. Given your age and financially limitations, I don't think it's unrealistic or inappropriate to let her know that as much as you would love to be in a position to pay for everything, you simply can't right now. If she really cares about you, that shouldn't be an issue particularly if you haven't already made promises telling her otherwise. Talking about money and who pays for what isn't the sexiest conversation to have with a new partner but if it's an issue, it's one you should have sooner rather than later. Good luck.
TMichaels Posted May 2, 2014 Posted May 2, 2014 I just remembered this was the airhead who thought her expired visa would not be a problem and was promptly deported. If she does pay for her own flight, don't count on her to pay for anything else because she will conveniently forget or lose her credit card. That's assuming he's talking about the same airhead. Could be another one all together as far as anyone else here knows. Best, TMichaels 3
Els Posted May 2, 2014 Posted May 2, 2014 If money is such a problem, how is she going to pay to go back to your country even if your government finally approves her visa? Plus her international tuition fees...
Haydn Posted May 2, 2014 Posted May 2, 2014 Tyler mate, Just front it up geezer. Ask, and make sure you pack the toot and whistle. Can you get me a straw donkey?
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