gg1980 Posted May 1, 2014 Posted May 1, 2014 Hello everyone I am very new to this. I have a very big problem and just dont know what to do. I have been with my husband for 19 years. He at one time was very abusive and did put alot of strain on our marriage. I left him for this and while we were split up i dated a few people. One i fell really hard for. Its just another long story is to how i ended up pregnant but i didnt think the baby was his so i left him even though i truly loved him. I was alone and my husband came back into the picture and swore he had changed and i took him back. He claims my son as his and no one knows he isnt. 10 years later i still think of this man everyday. I didnt know until the last few years that the baby is really his. He looks just like him and his other child. I now have 4 kids and one on the way. Seems like i have had kid after kid just to stay happy so that i wont think of this man. But its just not working. Me and my husband just are to different and when i left him 10 years ago i was done i just was young and didnt understand then i was never going to love him like i once did. I am just lost and dont know what to do. I am currently going to school full time and just dont have time to think about all of this.
Chi townD Posted May 1, 2014 Posted May 1, 2014 Yeah, sorry but I can't give you too much advice because you're carrying a lot more baggage then what a advice forum could answer. It sounds like your husband got himself turned around and started acting right. But, you're holding on to resentment from the past and holding onto this guy that made you pregnant because he made you feel good about yourself and what kind of relationship that you wanted. Your husband came back into the picture and you never truly let your guard down. You still have a protective wall up when you're around him. Therefore, you won't allow yourself to truly connect with him. You need to get into individual and marriage counseling to tackle these ghosts.
Author gg1980 Posted May 1, 2014 Author Posted May 1, 2014 Well I have asked him that for years if we should go to counseling but he refuses. I dont think he really wants to be with me either. He is a stay at home dad and just doesn't won't to grow up and get a job. So he stays with me cause of that and he dont want to leave his kids.
Chi townD Posted May 2, 2014 Posted May 2, 2014 Well, nothing stopping you from going to get some counseling for yourself.
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