STM206 Posted May 1, 2014 Posted May 1, 2014 (edited) It's been 4 months since the break up and I still find myself thinking about him every single day. We were together for 4 years and he left me. 2 months later he's moved across the country to be with his ex. He was my first relationship/love, I'm 28 and he's 32. I'm finding it so hard to move on, to not have this ball of anxiety in my chest. 4 years of having what seemed like everything and now I stand alone, and that's scary. My self esteem has been shot, the thought of having to "date" again terrifies me. Even the small things remind me of him, such as going to the movies which I've avoided doing since it's another reminder. How do I get over this hump? It hurts to know that he's skipped his way off into the sunset with someone else, yet I'm still struggling to pick up the pieces. I still have this stupid shimmer of hope that he will wake up and realize that that grass isn't greener. I'm hoping that there's some positive stories to be shared. I'm still in that headspace of not believing I'll ever feel the same way for another again, that my trust and faith in love has been damaged beyond repair. Edited May 1, 2014 by STM206
FredJones80 Posted May 1, 2014 Posted May 1, 2014 Urgg STM206. I'm saddened by this, I relate to a lot of your posts so am always interested to hear your views. I'm not as far down the line as you but I feel pretty similar, I just hope it goes away, but I fear like you I may feel the same at your point. Maybe first love has something to do with this? Anyway, you're not alone, we're suffering together with many others.
learning_slowly Posted May 1, 2014 Posted May 1, 2014 From my point of view, you don't really start working out who you are until at least 30. I've known guys who didn't realise they were gay till then! So I didn't start my last relationship until 34. And the benefit of that was she was ready to settle down, I just hadn't grown up. What I'm saying is there will be men out there who will be in a better frame of mind than me. A lot of my colleagues started settling down at my age then. You have a while yet. But in my experience of women that split when they were oldèr, they never really got over it until they met their next guy. So my advice would be to get out and date, even if you have dates where you talk about your ex all night. At least you can see other guys can be as good as your ex. There is no "one". There's just chemistry to make our offspring more resiliant. And even then there's loads of "ones". I've met quite a few in my life and I didn't really try to find them. There will be someone else for you. Humans adapt. Just try to have fun, while you adapt
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