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ex wished me happy birthday

Lonelyangel

By Lonelyangel
in Breaks and Breaking Up

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Lonelyangel Member

Lonelyangel

Posted
Posted

My birthday was 2 days ago and i didn't expect anything from my ex. He dumped me last august because we argued too much. Since then I haven't heard anything from him. So after almost 8 months a got a message on Facebook, saying "Hi ...., I hope you are doing well:)) wish you a happy happy birthday!! Best of luck and success in your life"

 

Should i respond to his text or just ignore? Why does he message me after so many months?

 

Thanks

malin819 Established Member

malin819

Posted
Posted

don't reply

 

or just say thank you

 

then delete please

  • Like 2
lauri Established Member

lauri

Posted
Posted
My birthday was 2 days ago and i didn't expect anything from my ex. He dumped me last august because we argued too much. Since then I haven't heard anything from him. So after almost 8 months a got a message on Facebook, saying "Hi ...., I hope you are doing well:)) wish you a happy happy birthday!! Best of luck and success in your life"

 

Should i respond to his text or just ignore? Why does he message me after so many months?

 

Thanks

 

First off, HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

 

Second off, no don't respond. It will only lead to false hope and you may get sucked into a conversation which will only confuse you and lead to no where. Maintain NC until you are fully healed and capable of making sound decisions. Your well-being comes first.

  • Like 1
emi Established Member

emi

Posted
Posted

Reply him '' thank you'' then delete his msg.

My ex wished me happy b-day also and it set me back day 1 again.

  • Like 1
d0nnivain Established Member

d0nnivain

Posted
Posted

At most it means your EX is polite.

 

 

It does not mean that your EX wants you back. It's FB for heaven's sake. You popped up as a reminder. He wasn't otherwise thinking about you. he took 30 seconds out of his life because once upon a time he used to care about you. Don't read anything more into it.

 

 

Say thank you because you are polite too & don't give it another thought except to consider whether unfriending him is a good idea.

ebt100 Established Member

ebt100

Posted
Posted

Should i respond to his text or just ignore?

 

Thanks

 

Well, there is no "right" answer.

 

What do you want to accomplish? If you want to get him back, then do not ignore him. Say thanks and engage him in dialogue.

 

If you don't want him back, then either ignore him or defriend him.

 

It's all about what you want...

 

And, in my opinion, nobody but him can actually be sure what the intention is behind the message. Speaking for myself, I probably wouldn't message an ex with a "happy b-day" unless I wanted to re-kindle some romance, or at least friendship. At the same time, he may be just trying to be nice. Who knows.

ConfusedHumanBeing Established Member

ConfusedHumanBeing

Posted
Posted
Well, there is no "right" answer.

 

What do you want to accomplish? If you want to get him back, then do not ignore him. Say thanks and engage him in dialogue.

 

If you don't want him back, then either ignore him or defriend him.

 

It's all about what you want...

 

And, in my opinion, nobody but him can actually be sure what the intention is behind the message. Speaking for myself, I probably wouldn't message an ex with a "happy b-day" unless I wanted to re-kindle some romance, or at least friendship. At the same time, he may be just trying to be nice. Who knows.

 

NO you do NOT engage him in dialogue. That is the EXACT opposite. If he truly wanted to be with you, he would let you know. A simple "happy birthday" does not mean "lets rekindle what we had." NO where near. It's a simple breadcrumb. If he wants to come back or whatever, he will let it be known 1000% more than that weak a** message.

  • Like 1
ebt100 Established Member

ebt100

Posted
Posted
NO you do NOT engage him in dialogue. That is the EXACT opposite. If he truly wanted to be with you, he would let you know. A simple "happy birthday" does not mean "lets rekindle what we had." NO where near. It's a simple breadcrumb. If he wants to come back or whatever, he will let it be known 1000% more than that weak a** message.

 

At the same time, maybe he is apprehensive or insecure about a full-on comeback, and may be "playing it cool" because he thinks that is the right move.

 

Anyway, only he knows.

  • Like 2
Simon Phoenix Established Member

Simon Phoenix

Posted
Posted (edited)
At the same time, maybe he is apprehensive or insecure about a full-on comeback, and may be "playing it cool" because he thinks that is the right move.

 

Anyway, only he knows.

 

Well, if that's the case he needs to "man the f--k up". I wouldn't give a s--t less if I was a dumpee about the dumper being afraid of re-establishing contact. They weren't afraid to dump me and put me in a world of hurt and turmoil and screw over my feelings. If they want me back, they better come correct. It's not the dumpee's job to help fix the road that the dumper flipped an 18-wheeler filled with noxious chemicals on to.

 

As for the OP, he's likely just trying to be polite. Either way, it's not worth responding to if you are still shaken from things and, judging by the fact you started a thread asking what you should do about it, you probably are. If it means anything more than simple politeness, he'll make more direct, bold moves down the line. But for now, just delete.

Edited by Simon Phoenix
  • Like 1
ConfusedHumanBeing Established Member

ConfusedHumanBeing

Posted
Posted
At the same time, maybe he is apprehensive or insecure about a full-on comeback, and may be "playing it cool" because he thinks that is the right move.

 

Anyway, only he knows.

 

If he's apprehensive, he shouldnt even be contacting.

 

Again, that's why its a breadcrumb. IF HE REALLY WANTED TO BE WITH HER, A SIMPLE HAPPY BIRTHDAY TEXT WON'T STOP HIM.

organizedchaos Established Member

organizedchaos

Posted
Posted
If he's apprehensive, he shouldnt even be contacting.

 

Again, that's why its a breadcrumb. IF HE REALLY WANTED TO BE WITH HER, A SIMPLE HAPPY BIRTHDAY TEXT WON'T STOP HIM.

 

Yep, if anything, if he is testing the waters and gets ignored, it may cause him to panic. He may think he's really blown it and will double his effort, if he wants her back.

  • Like 1
Ordinaryday Established Member

Ordinaryday

Posted
Posted

don't reply! read the NO CONTACT guide.

 

it is what is known as a breadcrumb - a meaningless bit of contact that serves no other purpose than them wanting to relieve their guilt.

 

don't respond, it will only set you back!

 

I have always been pissed off when dumpers message me HB - It is like "you broke my heart and left me terribly off, and now you are messaging me happy birthday like we are buddies and you are not someone who broke my heart? seriously???"

Ordinaryday Established Member

Ordinaryday

Posted
Posted
Best of luck and success in your life"

 

read that line again "in YOUR life", not "our" life or anything, by focusing on "your" instead of "our" life he is indirectly making it clear he doesn't want you back, this is nothing but a breadcrumb, and it was rude of him to send it.

 

ignore it.

organizedchaos Established Member

organizedchaos

Posted
Posted
read that line again "in YOUR life", not "our" life or anything, by focusing on "your" instead of "our" life he is indirectly making it clear he doesn't want you back, this is nothing but a breadcrumb, and it was rude of him to send it.

 

ignore it.

 

Exactly. No emotion in that statement. That's something you say to a friend who's moving away to take a new job.

  • Like 1
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