avoforastig Posted May 1, 2014 Posted May 1, 2014 I was supposed to meet a woman for a first date tonight. I arrived at the pub 5 minutes early, waited until she was ten minutes late. I then sent a text stating I was waiting out front. Another 10 minutes goes by, she responds she was held up at work and was unable to text me earlier and asked if we could reschedule. I tried to play it cool and said let me know some times you're available and I'll see if I can fit it in my schedule. I set up another tentative time at a more convenient location to me in an armpit of time. She works in an Emergency room as a nurse and the weather was very bad so it's possible they were busy. However, it's difficult for me to look past the possibility of this being BS, as she did somehow find a minute to text me that information. I really have a strong disdain for any trace of flakiness as it usually results in a waste of time and/or money. I'm tempted to go next week but also tempted to just blow her off. Any advice from a similar situiation?
Assasda Posted May 1, 2014 Posted May 1, 2014 Women change their mind. Its just how it is. It just depends on how apologetic she was and if she offered a reschedule time. If not. I wouldnt even bother with her. AT ALL
Author avoforastig Posted May 1, 2014 Author Posted May 1, 2014 Women change their mind. Its just how it is. It just depends on how apologetic she was and if she offered a reschedule time. If not. I wouldnt even bother with her. AT ALL Hard to say how apologetic she was as it was via text, but she did offer some other times. Honestly, I'm tempted to give her a taste of her own medicine.
Arieswoman Posted May 1, 2014 Posted May 1, 2014 avoforastig, Did you know she worked in ER when you set up the date?
saltyfishhead666 Posted May 1, 2014 Posted May 1, 2014 I was supposed to meet a woman for a first date tonight. I arrived at the pub 5 minutes early, waited until she was ten minutes late. I then sent a text stating I was waiting out front. Another 10 minutes goes by, she responds she was held up at work and was unable to text me earlier and asked if we could reschedule. I tried to play it cool and said let me know some times you're available and I'll see if I can fit it in my schedule. I set up another tentative time at a more convenient location to me in an armpit of time. She works in an Emergency room as a nurse and the weather was very bad so it's possible they were busy. However, it's difficult for me to look past the possibility of this being BS, as she did somehow find a minute to text me that information. I really have a strong disdain for any trace of flakiness as it usually results in a waste of time and/or money. I'm tempted to go next week but also tempted to just blow her off. Any advice from a similar situiation? If she didn't work in the emergency room - I would have said stay well clear (I hate flakes too) However the er is a busy place, I'm sure they get serious emergencies that they have to tend too. They can't just say oh my shifts up after someone whose been knocked over,stabbed ect has just rolled in. So I would say go next week and give her the benefit of the doubt. It happens. 1
Omei Posted May 1, 2014 Posted May 1, 2014 (edited) You're also are not allowed to have cell phones on in emergency esp if you work there you follow the rules even more strictly. As for relationship be aware this may occur often, doc's, nurses etc long hours late nights, cancellations, no sleeps. Edited May 1, 2014 by Omei 1
Survivor12 Posted May 1, 2014 Posted May 1, 2014 I seriously doubt that she had planned to leave work and go on a first date without first going home to shower, change and primp a bit. Not only would she want to look her best but since nursing does involve being in contact with germs & bodily fluids and ER can be very hectic as well as emotionally challenging, she may have needed some down-time to freshen up, change gears and prepare herself for your date. If she had a particularly stressful day and then had to stay beyond her shift, she may not have felt that she had enough time or energy to get ready for--and enjoy--your date. Since she did indicate her interest in re-scheduling, it doesn't sound as though she was flaking so I'd advise you to give it another chance. Since she doesnt have control over what may happen while she is at work, perhaps it would work best to schedule your first date on a day she is not working. On the other hand, if you do not have the patience and understanding to deal with what her job entails, it would be best to move on now, but at least tell let her know why. "Blowing her off" without explanation is rather immature, rude and undeserved in this case. 4
iiiii Posted May 1, 2014 Posted May 1, 2014 If you hate people standing you up or being late, probably best not to date an ER medic or nurse or anyone in a related field. It's not the type of job where you can just up and walk out whenever you shift officially ends. The patients have to come first, and you can't drop your colleagues in it either if the shift is crazy busy. Being unexpectedly late home comes with the territory. 1
Author avoforastig Posted May 1, 2014 Author Posted May 1, 2014 I seriously doubt that she had planned to leave work and go on a first date without first going home to shower, change and primp a bit. Not only would she want to look her best but since nursing does involve being in contact with germs & bodily fluids and ER can be very hectic as well as emotionally challenging, she may have needed some down-time to freshen up, change gears and prepare herself for your date. If she had a particularly stressful day and then had to stay beyond her shift, she may not have felt that she had enough time or energy to get ready for--and enjoy--your date. Since she did indicate her interest in re-scheduling, it doesn't sound as though she was flaking so I'd advise you to give it another chance. Since she doesnt have control over what may happen while she is at work, perhaps it would work best to schedule your first date on a day she is not working. On the other hand, if you do not have the patience and understanding to deal with what her job entails, it would be best to move on now, but at least tell let her know why. "Blowing her off" without explanation is rather immature, rude and undeserved in this case. I'd like to give her the benefit of the doubt. I have been flaked on a couple time recently, so I'm probably being a little harsh. That being said, I have an office job and don't always stop home to shower for after work dates, do you think that is a bad idea?
clia Posted May 1, 2014 Posted May 1, 2014 I think she flaked. She waited until after the time you were supposed to meet to tell you she wasn't going to be there. That is beyond rude. I understand that her job may be crazy, but she obviously found the time to text you after you were supposed to meet, so...it just seems to me that if it was even a remote possibility that she might get held up at work she would've warned you about that in advance. I wouldn't go home and shower before a date, but I work an office job. She at minimum had to change her clothes -- whether she was planning on doing that at work or going home first, who knows?
iiiii Posted May 1, 2014 Posted May 1, 2014 I work in a vet ER, not a human ER, but I imagine it's similar in some ways. And I can tell you that I often end my shift covered in any number of the following: blood, urine, feces, drool, fur, pus, and anal gland secretions. You really, really want me to shower before a date. 1
Andy_K Posted May 1, 2014 Posted May 1, 2014 Give the benefit of the doubt since she offered to reschedule straight away. Then stop worrying about it and see what happens. You risk little when you give someone a second chance to turn up, and the potential gain if they turn out to be exactly what you're looking for is huge. 1
Recommended Posts