Ebman Posted May 1, 2014 Posted May 1, 2014 I recently (2.5 months ago) let go of a woman friend that was really negative and dragging me down. She never made an effort from her part to start a texting conversation or keep it going. It was always on me to do that. I did so for over a year and we had some good times. We never met in person and eventually I felt that it was too onesided for me and walked away. As much as I feel I did the right thing I also feel that I sometimes miss her. But I have to stay strong and ride out these emotions for in the long run it's probably for the best. Any thoughts?
Author Ebman Posted May 1, 2014 Author Posted May 1, 2014 The funny thing is..... Just writing these ideas, feelings and thoughts is an emotional outlet for me. Somehow stating what I'm going through makes me feel a bit better and more in touch with who I am as a person. I'm wondering if anyone else has that same feeling?
amaysngrace Posted May 1, 2014 Posted May 1, 2014 Just hang out here more if you like having text friends. That's what we are...one big texting friendship party!! 1
AnneT1985 Posted May 1, 2014 Posted May 1, 2014 I'm so glad you are experiencing relief by just writing down and sharing your thoughts:) This is a great group of people...the best message board for support by far I've seen. Best of luck to you xx 1
Eddie Edirol Posted May 1, 2014 Posted May 1, 2014 Hey Ebman, it sounds to me like this woman was never interested in you, which is why she never started conversations. She might have been negative because she kept getting attention from you that she didnt want. Naturally dealing with someone you cant see in person would drag you down. I suggest you use this as a clue for your next interactions, and if you cant see them in person, and they show no interest in who you are as a person, you bail on it within the first week. I would hope you were looking for other women while you were wasting time with this one.
Author Ebman Posted May 1, 2014 Author Posted May 1, 2014 I think you hit the nail on the head. I didn't really see it from her perspective. I'll definitely be more careful who I let through my defenses, and look out for the signs much earlier. I will look for a new chat friend in the future but for now I'm happy to focus on my work and career. Working is a great escape for me especially for I do creative work and my fluctuating mental states help with that.
RonaldS Posted May 1, 2014 Posted May 1, 2014 Why would anybody ever let another person drag them down? That's not her fault...it's yours. I always love when I hear people say, 'I only surround myself with positive people'. That translates as: 'I'm not too confident in myself and other people's opinions affect me significantly'. (OP, I'm not saying this is you....just in general) The world is a rough place and to survive and be happy, it helps to be tough...emotionally strong and able to handle adversity. If a person is negative by their nature and that affects your life adversely, it's time to look into why it does, because it shouldn't. Yeah, if people are borrowing money all the time and not paying it back, or getting you involved with drug deals without you knowing it...that's a little different. But just because somebody doesn't prance into your daily existence like Richard Simmons and lift you up and take you on rides on clouds doesn't mean you need to cut that person out of your life. Yes, there are flowers and rainbows and cute little bunnies in the world. There are also sewers and flesh-eating viruses and scorpions. You can't do much in life if you shield yourself from all the bad stuff. 1
Eddie Edirol Posted May 1, 2014 Posted May 1, 2014 I think you hit the nail on the head. I didn't really see it from her perspective. I'll definitely be more careful who I let through my defenses, and look out for the signs much earlier. I will look for a new chat friend in the future but for now I'm happy to focus on my work and career. Working is a great escape for me especially for I do creative work and my fluctuating mental states help with that. Also keep in mind, she should have cut you off long ago if she wasnt interested in you the same way you were interested in her. Thats her fault, but its your fault too because you kept pushing for a year. Many women will do this to you because they are afraid of guys lashing out at them. Also Id also try to meet more women in person if I were you. Much easier to read interest. Online chats stink in my eyes.
AnneT1985 Posted May 1, 2014 Posted May 1, 2014 Sorry I just started a new thread in your post! Please disregard xx
Author Ebman Posted May 2, 2014 Author Posted May 2, 2014 RonaldS has a point. I'm not looking to cut out negative people from my life. I'm actually just removing one person. I should rather call this "letting go of a person I should have let go long ago yet I stubbornly held on to and out dated belief that people can change" I'm actually a very positive person and usually attract "negative / not so positive" people into my life. I know my strengths as a human being and use my intellect, wit and humor to attract people. 99% of the time I can handle the lunacy that comes with emotional attachment and keep myself grounded. I guess in this one instance I met my nemesis. Wait.... There was one other lady but I let go of her much quicker and easier. I'm clearly suffering the consequences of my own stubbornness to keep pushing for something that wasn't there. Why? Why did I do that? I think it was her intelligence. A person's physical attributes always comes second to the intelligence level of the person I'm interacting with. I'm not talking are academic intelligence but more of an ability to use the intelligence (some people call it street smart or eq). She fitted that mould perfectly and there my attraction was on a mental level. But the truth is that with 6 billion people on this planet the probability that there are more people that fit that mould are out there. I just need to find them
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