BriInWonderland Posted May 1, 2014 Posted May 1, 2014 (edited) My ex and I broke up a month ago, we have had some problems and ups and downs and leading up to the break up I was complaining (a lot) about a lack of affection. He never said "I love you" he didn't really want to see me, and when he did he would seem annoyed and distant after a day. We both have moved to Japan together, he lives in a city 3 hours away from me. I've been the total clingy and needy ex that he just loves to hate. He tells me he doesn't miss me "more than usual" and that he's happier not being in a relationship with me. He goes out all the time now with his new friends and loves to text me about how happy he is with his new life. Recently he's been adding all new girls on facebook. I just want him to love me again and I miss him so much, should I wait for him? Or is it a lost cause, if it's a lost cause then how do I get over this pain? Please help Edited May 1, 2014 by BriInWonderland
Raena Posted May 1, 2014 Posted May 1, 2014 It's a lost cause. He's going out of his way to let you know that he's done with the situation. Block him in every way possible from contacting you... including social media, go no contact with him and move on. Read some books, get a hobby, cry in your pillow, but whatever you do... do NOT let him see you miserable and stop contacting him. 2
STM206 Posted May 1, 2014 Posted May 1, 2014 I can assure you he's doing this out of spite. When someone has to purposely go out of their way to keep you up to date on how "happy" they are, it's usually the complete opposite. Ignore him and block his ass. Don't put up with that CHILDISH behavior. 2
J2911 Posted May 1, 2014 Posted May 1, 2014 My ex and I broke up a month ago, we have had some problems and ups and dhold d leading up to the break up I was complaining (a lot) about a lack of affection. He never said "I love you" he didn't really want to see me, and when he did he would seem annoyed and distant after a day. We both have moved to Japan together, he lives in a city 3 hours away from me. I've been the total clingy and needy ex that he just loves to hate. He tells me he doesn't miss me "more than usual" and that he's happier not being in a relationship with me. He goes out all the time now with his new friends and loves to text me about how happy he is with his new life. Recently he's been added all new girls on facebook. I just want him to love me again and I miss him so much, should I wait for him? Or is it a lost cause, if it's a lost cause then how do I get over this pain? Please help I'm so sorry for your pain. It's heartwrenching I know for you , as I and probably 75% of this site has went through. I think you should cut off all contact with him and move on. I think it is making him resent you by you holding on so tight. It sounds like the things he is doing like adding girls to fb and going out and texting you about it , he is trying to push you so far away and make you dislike him. Either he is a mean person to do that or if you can see the reverse psychology to that which would be to help you faster in the moving on process by being mean purposefully. I think you need to cut off all contact and move on. That may be what gives him time to think about you and miss you when he knows you are no longer holding on and moving on. Let him have time to see you out of his life. Maybe he needs that to think oh wow I miss her bc shes no longer available. I'm sorry you are hurting. You have to let go to get the healing process started to move on. 1
Author BriInWonderland Posted May 1, 2014 Author Posted May 1, 2014 It's so hard to just go NC, he's was my best friend before we started dating we came to Japan for a study abroad (where he asked me out) We graduated together and helped each other through so many issues. And now we moved together even though he lives in a different city, this country this place this is where everything started for us and it's so hard. I have no family here and only a few friends, he is my only link to home and I miss him so much. How can he just discard me like nothing?
Author BriInWonderland Posted May 1, 2014 Author Posted May 1, 2014 (edited) It's a lost cause. He's going out of his way to let you know that he's done with the situation. Block him in every way possible from contacting you... including social media, go no contact with him and move on. Read some books, get a hobby, cry in your pillow, but whatever you do... do NOT let him see you miserable and stop contacting him. I blocked him from Facebook a few days ago and he hasn't messaged me since. He added an old fling on Facebook (I asked him to stop talking to her because she kept getting in the way) and now he's posting comments and everything like nothing ever happened. I was hoping that by blocking him he's realize something but no he didn't. The last thing he said to me was to look up Tedtalks (I don't know if you're familiar with them) on Happiness and Success. I've already let him see me miserable plenty of times, I keep asking him why he doesn't care about me at all anymore. He has no feelings about the break up what so ever. Edited May 1, 2014 by BriInWonderland More info....
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