thelonewolflegend Posted April 30, 2014 Posted April 30, 2014 We have great time when we get together and we had alittle talk she was complaining was saying she wanted go out more. I said what you mean? she said she wants to do different things like she feels like on a routine coming over tues and thurs after my training and once in a while Saturdays going out for dinner I said well where do you want to go? she wouldn't tell me just says its nice when I had dinner at my house or make dinner or something like that so I didn't understand this thing 100% if means go different places or do stuff more while were out or what? Also complained on how I used coupon when we went dinner and felt saying I was cheap I said no and told her bout past relationships spent lot of money on women she just wants me take her nice place once in a while and not be looked at as cheap. Any advice? How do you get her not to complain? Also saying may 12 is when she starts her job hint and she wants me to get her flowers few times a year and say that I miss her n stuff (I got out of long term relationship last year I was in 2 long terms and worn out I really just looked at having fun but this girl asking for this stuff advise.) On other message board they said I should next her and she is gold digger. I don't see her as a gold digger just started complaining about this also she isn't asking for me take her shopping or take care of her like my exes she isn't that expensive just wanted me do nice stuff once in a while she said like nice dinner or flowers. Also she complained about it being routine like being the girl comes over every few times a week to have sex then once in a while go out for dinner she wanted me to take her out more or be different I wasn't sure what that meant. What do you usually do weekly with your significant others? 1
pteromom Posted April 30, 2014 Posted April 30, 2014 She wants ROMANCE. That's what she's really asking for here. She wants to be surprised sometimes. It doesn't have to be about spending a lot of money... Take her for a picnic in the park. Pack up foods you can feed to each other like grapes and strawberries and chocolates, and get a blanket. When she comes over, take her hand, pick up the stuff, and go. Pick a nice quiet spot to lay out the blanket, and just eat and talk and hold her. Don't try to have sex unless she initiates. Just focus on being together. Go to an amusement park and hold her hand and win her a stuffed animal. Pick up takeout from her favorite restaurant and have it waiting when she comes over. Have candles lit on the table, flowers for her, and the lights low. If you have a nearby lake, rent a small boat and go out with her. Sometimes, when she comes over, don't try to have sex unless she initiates. Get tickets to a concert of a band she loves, and take her without telling her ahead of time where you are going. If your town has symphony in the park or something like that, take her. When there's a meteor shower, take her out somewhere in the middle of nowhere with a blanket and just lie together watching the stars. I wouldn't NEXT a girl for what she's doing. She's communicating her needs to you - LISTEN to them. And the coupon thing isn't about you being cheap. It's about killing romance. This is ALL about romance. 9
J2911 Posted April 30, 2014 Posted April 30, 2014 We have great time when we get together and we had alittle talk she was complaining was saying she wanted go out more. I said what you mean? she said she wants to do different things like she feels like on a routine coming over tues and thurs after my training and once in a while Saturdays going out for dinner I said well where do you want to go? she wouldn't tell me just says its nice when I had dinner at my house or make dinner or something like that so I didn't understand this thing 100% if means go different places or do stuff more while were out or what? Also complained on how I used coupon when we went dinner and felt saying I was cheap I said no and told her bout past relationships spent lot of money on women she just wants me take her nice place once in a while and not be looked at as cheap. Any advice? How do you get her not to complain? Also saying may 12 is when she starts her job hint and she wants me to get her flowers few times a year and say that I miss her n stuff (I got out of long term relationship last year I was in 2 long terms and worn out I really just looked at having fun but this girl asking for this stuff advise.) On other message board they said I should next her and she is gold digger. I don't see her as a gold digger just started complaining about this also she isn't asking for me take her shopping or take care of her like my exes she isn't that expensive just wanted me do nice stuff once in a while she said like nice dinner or flowers. Also she complained about it being routine like being the girl comes over every few times a week to have sex then once in a while go out for dinner she wanted me to take her out more or be different I wasn't sure what that meant. What do you usually do weekly with your significant others? Hello , if I may offer some thought to you here . Ok first , I understand what it's like to have been in relationships where you blow a lot of money on your girlfriend. I have been there many of times and it isn't fun. To buy flowers occasionally, a couple times a month go to a really nice dinner and go to movies , skating , etc... That is fine , no problems. When I took a girlfriend ( LDR of 2 years ) to mak makeup store and I spent 1500 dollars on makeup that day then I wasn't happy about that but I didn't say anything there . So that was my fault honestly and to ask your partner to spend that for you on a random date , well that would be a golddigger response. I dont think your girlfriend sounds too unreasonable actually . A lot of girls like flowers and receiving them at their work is an awesome ordeal for a lot of girls for whatever reason ???? It just is. I think that she wants maybe to switch up a routine of dinner and movie to maybe different places like take her for a picnic and horse back riding or an ice cream and walk in the park or something. The coupon thing I'm kind of indifferent. On one hand , on a date it can be kind of tacky however , on the other hand if you are on a very tight budget and take her out then she should be compassionate that she isn't paying and you're taking her out while on a tight budget. That doesn't look good on her part. If you would make a scene about a coupon and scam a free meal and leave no tip then that wouldn't make you look good at all. I don't think she is a bad gf for wanting an occasional flower or a change of eating / dating places. I don't think you're a bad bf by using a coupon either. To make her not complain ........... Hmmmmm I want to say she may not be complaining , shemay be just expressing her feelings. You can't confuse complaining when they are sharing thoughts with you to improve a relationship , bc that makes you appear not very compassionate to her thoughts by using the word complain. It sounds like you like her and she likes you to suggest new things . There are so many dates that are free and cheap and fun. Google places in your area to take her that are cheap and fun for you both and inexpensive. Good luck to you friend 1
J2911 Posted April 30, 2014 Posted April 30, 2014 She wants ROMANCE. That's what she's really asking for here. She wants to be surprised sometimes. It doesn't have to be about spending a lot of money... Take her for a picnic in the park. Pack up foods you can feed to each other like grapes and strawberries and chocolates, and get a blanket. When she comes over, take her hand, pick up the stuff, and go. Pick a nice quiet spot to lay out the blanket, and just eat and talk and hold her. Don't try to have sex unless she initiates. Just focus on being together. Go to an amusement park and hold her hand and win her a stuffed animal. Pick up takeout from her favorite restaurant and have it waiting when she comes over. Have candles lit on the table, flowers for her, and the lights low. If you have a nearby lake, rent a small boat and go out with her. Sometimes, when she comes over, don't try to have sex unless she initiates. Get tickets to a concert of a band she loves, and take her without telling her ahead of time where you are going. If your town has symphony in the park or something like that, take her. When there's a meteor shower, take her out somewhere in the middle of nowhere with a blanket and just lie together watching the stars. I wouldn't NEXT a girl for what she's doing. She's communicating her needs to you - LISTEN to them. And the coupon thing isn't about you being cheap. It's about killing romance. This is ALL about romance. Completely agree with your post
babycakees Posted April 30, 2014 Posted April 30, 2014 Like everyone else said.....ROMANCE! Surprise her with something out of the norm. 2
Author thelonewolflegend Posted April 30, 2014 Author Posted April 30, 2014 What would be good examples of suprising like flowers or what else?
pteromom Posted April 30, 2014 Posted April 30, 2014 What would be good examples of suprising like flowers or what else? I just gave you a list. - if it is something she SPECIFICALLY ASKED FOR, that's a good place to start. Flowers, taking her somewhere nice for dinner. - think about who she is and what she likes, and find a specific surprise that revolves around her interests (If she loves dogs, a dog show; if she loves anime, a cosplay event; if she loves heavy metal, a music festival; etc etc etc) - think EXPERIENCE. You want to do something that is going to create feelings and memories. The experience is more important than the expense. 1
HeartbrokenNewbie Posted May 1, 2014 Posted May 1, 2014 Yea she wants romance but you have to stand up, look her in the eye and say "coupons are cool, don't dis the couponsl!" lol x 1
Omei Posted May 1, 2014 Posted May 1, 2014 (edited) OP I read your post then I go to reply's.... I saw "She wants ROMANCE" liked pteromom's comment and didnt read any further. pteromom will you date me? You sound like a magical dream! Lol Edit: I looked and you're female!!! No wonder of course if it's too good to be true it is! Should of known a woman would be behind perfection Edited May 1, 2014 by Omei
Chocolat Posted May 1, 2014 Posted May 1, 2014 (I got out of long term relationship last year I was in 2 long terms and worn out I really just looked at having fun but this girl asking for this stuff advise.) Agree that she is looking for romance. Also think she seems a little high maintenance. But the above is what really caught my eye. Are you looking for a relationship or just casual dating? I think you need to be on the same page with this girl before you work on changing behaviors.
Author thelonewolflegend Posted May 1, 2014 Author Posted May 1, 2014 well when I ask her she said she doesn't want it to be like that official when I ask about bf/gf but wants me to do stuff like that. I don't mind being different things like that I have never been type to go on picnics or dog shows or things of that nature so it is weird for me. I just see like going out on the town or going to dave and busters or swing a round theme parks or go to malls things like that etc... Are those pretty good ideas for like the summer? I guess we could go clubbing and I could take her nice dinner sometime eventually get her flowers.
todreaminblue Posted May 1, 2014 Posted May 1, 2014 You wrote " guess i could do this i guess i could do that."...you dont seem that invested ....its romance as everyone else has written to you and advised you to do...to be a bit more invested and motuvated..and it should not be i guess i should..... it should be hell yeah i want to make her happy...seeing her happy makes me happy sort of attitude.thanks for the great ideas..but its not...pteromom gave you some really cool advice as did other posters......to me you dont seem phased or your not reading the replies...........you dont seem to be sincere about this girl.or if you have a motivation issue maybe it is too much work for you..good luck....deb 1
GemmaUK Posted May 1, 2014 Posted May 1, 2014 You wrote " guess i could do this i guess i could do that."...you dont seem that invested ....its romance as everyone else has written to you and advised you to do...to be a bit more invested and motuvated..and it should not be i guess i should..... it should be hell yeah i want to make her happy...seeing her happy makes me happy sort of attitude.thanks for the great ideas..but its not...pteromom gave you some really cool advice as did other posters......to me you dont seem phased or your not reading the replies...........you dont seem to be sincere about this girl.or if you have a motivation issue maybe it is too much work for you..good luck....deb That is what I thought. Let her go, you aren't that into her. If you were you would want to do more. She is getting the drift of this too by saying it. But ultimately I think she is getting bored. You are already bored. I would let her go and move on.
Keenly Posted May 1, 2014 Posted May 1, 2014 Your first paragraph reminds me of my ex... we had a recurring argument. " I want to go out more " " okay, where would you like to go? " " I don't know " ...... seriously? " give me some ideas " " I don't know... " If she can assert her needs but not actually tell you what she's asking for, its absolutely mind blowing and very frustrating. I feel for you man. I'll be keeping an eye on this thread for information.
Author thelonewolflegend Posted May 11, 2014 Author Posted May 11, 2014 Okay it has to do with this girl im with that I am trying to get with. Basically things were fine like I mentioned. Thought, we hungout a few weekends ago and she complained about wanting me to take her to a nice place sometime and she complained that iIused coupons for dinner and wanted me to get her flowers etc... I just whatever'd it and the last week before she left town we went to raw it was fine. Then we were supposed to go mobb deep show and i went to her place and she was like youd be mad if i didnt go I am tired and i said "no" shes like "thanks for understanding." and the last night before she left town was supposed to come over and she ignored me till almost midnight. Said, I went drinking and i feel sick and im staying home and so i stayed at her place. That night was fine but like i said she ignored me and didnt reply till then. And the day she left we hungout we had sex but like I said right when I was kissing her she just took her clothes off right there and went in the bed etc wasnt feeling much like I would want to you know? Was weird. Well I dont hear from her I just say miss ya hows your trip been and just replies thats it. I checked her profile on pof and she updated it with new pictures and or whatever saying lets get off this website lol. So I need help here because I am having these feelings of anger and upset over this because I spend time and money on this girl and I want her to be with me and she basically is you know changing her profile and not giving me attention like wanting to be me with me. How do I fix this have her want me etc...? I dont know if I should basically talk to her about it saying I dont want to be more than **** buddies unless we are together or give ultimatum or something along those lines. Best advice would be appreciated, thank you. I dont feel like I want to do ANYTHING more than be a **** with her unless we are a couple you know???? Please HELP. Thanks
Author thelonewolflegend Posted May 11, 2014 Author Posted May 11, 2014 I dont know if I should confront or what?
Assasda Posted May 11, 2014 Posted May 11, 2014 What you should do is stop trying to get her attention all the time. Youre not a little kid, im sure youre a grown ass man and dont have to be coddled. Also what you do is, you keep yourself open for other women, stoip putting your eggs in one basket. and live your life. Heck, if she doesnt want to go to the MObb Deep concert, find a buddy that'll go with you. Dont send her any texts saying that, you miss her. Its just a needy waste of time. Just use the phone to set up events for you 2 to do, and if she cant do them, do them yourself. Dont be a "Sucker for love" you must know what that means, since you listen to rap. 0 1
Author thelonewolflegend Posted May 11, 2014 Author Posted May 11, 2014 ok but like I didnt see her all week and i dont hear from her n stuff how do I get her more interested in me and have her want to go out with me more and hear from here?
Author thelonewolflegend Posted May 11, 2014 Author Posted May 11, 2014 she told me to start saying she misses her and stuff because she always said it i never did so why is that wrong?
singhnatasha903 Posted May 11, 2014 Posted May 11, 2014 advice has been rightly given. cool off. focus on other things. back away, see if she misses you. if yes then awesome, if not, move on. nothing is worth losing your self pride... and ease off on using the coupons on dates buddy. just a tip!
Author thelonewolflegend Posted May 11, 2014 Author Posted May 11, 2014 yeah well i have been looking and i havent invested much in past 2 weeks really we just went to raw in thats it all the women on their are mostly unattractive ugly or wont talk to me. Im not giving her much attention lately I just texted her once and that is it. Are you sure that I shouldnt try to plan random fun events besides her just coming over sleeping with me?
Assasda Posted May 11, 2014 Posted May 11, 2014 Its like you didnt read my post. Plan stuff for you 2 to do together. That is the only time you should be contacting her. Also, there is nothing wrong with using coupons, dont let her or anybody else tell you any different. And when she tells you, that you should tell her that you miss her and stuff like that, take that with a grain of salt. You shouldnt do that. Bascially do what you want, youre the man in the relationship, DO NOT PLAY THE WOMAN ROLE
Author thelonewolflegend Posted May 15, 2014 Author Posted May 15, 2014 I know you guys been hereing the ongoing saga with me and this last girl that ill love. Basically like I said things were fine with us I AGREE I got a little comfortable but still I trusted her and was getting more into her you know? But like I said that Saturday she started complaining she said she wanted me take her airport I said I didn't mind just didn't feel like getting up early is all lol. Complain with me about coupons, not taking her nice dinner or wants flowers once in a while ( which I was going to do ) Also was asking me questions about having a dog or family I said yeah just not a fan of taking care of them but eventually I would. After this Saturday like I said things got weird I felt it. Mobb Deep show we were supposed to go she said im tired would you be mad I said no she was like thanks. We were supposed to meetup before she left town Friday shes like I went drinking im sick I went to her place brought her medicine took care of her ( I mean I have been being a great guy here ) and she just kinda seem like wasn't close to me like usual and we had sex but didn't feel right and I left next day and didn't hear from her all week she just said oh back in town was great. Following few days later is when I saw she updated her POF profile. And we were supposed to hangout Tuesday and she was like how bout Thursday? I said no I want to tonight it hasn't been a while I want you to bring us some sushi and those outfits you mentioned before. She was like I want to talk to you and call you I want to stay home tonight. I planed some nice things over the weekend show her I care then all of a sudden she brings up all this stuff on me and was saying she felt like I just wanted to have sex before she went on trip and saying then whats the fun for me I come bring you dinner and dress all sexy for you. I said I wanted you try things out I said I want to bring us dinner. I told her about nice things we had planned for the weekend wanted to show you good time. I kinda told her I haven't felt like you have been like you were and things didn't feel right kinda went off on her. We talked on the phone she was crying I said yeah Im sorry didn't mean things I said but I just don't feel like I can trust you she was saying how I was great guy but not what she wanted and she shoulda said that I told her she has not been honest or open with me even tho she said she was no she woulda told me problems she had when they occur not all at once and already made your mind up you looking for someone else. It was bull**** like she was crying telling me you don't want family or wants pets or I was complaining taking you to airport I said I didn't mind to do all that and I told her look I know I got comofortable but its been 3 months only and now I want to show you do these things for you she like yeah I don't want the paul that messed up and now knows to fix things. I mean its just a pile of **** I kinda went off on her and told her she didn't care about me and I really got over stressed and its pretty much over she didn't want to be friends with benefits or nothing. I need to know what the reason she doing all this and saying this stuff all of a sudden and not telling me NOR wanting to work things out if she really cared about me at all or wanting a relationship I don't understand she just falls of face of the earth all of a sudden and doesn't want it to work. I need to know exactly what I did wrong and how I could avoid in future if possible (and probably how to be in control of the women situation and interest.) Because I know I fell beta and she had the power and I am tired of giving women the power.
deathandtaxes Posted May 15, 2014 Posted May 15, 2014 Trying to attempt to read your post screwed my eyes. Seriously - paragraphs and conciseness! Take a breath.....count to ten. 3
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