roxiebubble Posted April 30, 2014 Posted April 30, 2014 Hey guys, I really hope you could help me with something. I had a horrible break-up in may, 2013. And I was completely broken. I got out if it alive, by myself, I didn't need anather guy to help me forget. I wasn't crazy in love with my ex but I still ended up broken for real this time (my anxiety was hugeeee at that point of my life). Anyways, I decided I didn't want a boyfriend anytime soon. In the summer I started to hang out with a friend. He started to like me pretty soon, but I couldnt see myself with anyone. We went out one time and kissed and everything, but soon I started to back down again. In a period of 3-4 months I didn't know what I wanted. Sometimes I wanted to be with him, but then again I wouldn't be jealous if he went out with other girls (because i was sure i didnt want anything with him). When we stopped talking i would miss him within a week. And then after one date i decided i wanted to be with him. After a month, we became a couple. I am happy when Im with him. But i have my moments when i question everything, it's when my anxiety kicks in. is there a spark, am i pretending to be happy, do i really like him, is this the kind of relationship I want, am I read for this type of love, what if i find a better match in someone else..... We've been together for two and a half months now, and he is the best boyfriend a girl can find. He cares about me, puts me first, he has understanding for my doubts and anxiety because I really am a person who needs time for feelings to develop. I love spending with him, i love to kiss him, he makes me laugh. And i feel secure (and I never felt secure in my entire life, with anyone..) I shut down a little after that bad break up and became numb. I even said I dont want anyone to love me or care about me. so my question is, am i just scared of love or he's still just a friend in my mind? thank you for reading, and sorry for long post.
pteromom Posted April 30, 2014 Posted April 30, 2014 Sounds like you are scared of being vulnerable with someone, because it is so risky. And the only way you can truly fall into love with someone is to be vulnerable. If you aren't ready to be open, you aren't ready. You don't have to rush yourself. I wouldn't break up with him though - he sounds great. Just give yourself some time to learn to trust him.
Author roxiebubble Posted May 1, 2014 Author Posted May 1, 2014 Thank you for your answer! It might be it, but I don't know. Sometimes I fear I still see him as just a friend..
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