Jump to content

Pursue all and see what sticks? Or one pursuit at a time?


While the thread author can add an update and reopen discussion, this thread was last posted in over a month ago. Want to continue the conversation? Feel free to start a new thread instead!

Recommended Posts

Posted

I have no girlfriend still but am moderately interested in a few girls now. They're all cool but all different. One I see as a good girlfriend potential, another I see as better for FWB, another I see as more just a female friend. Does it make sense to pursue them all and see what sticks, or is that a bad strategy? One one hand it makes me seem very non-needy in the communications with each. On the other hand, it's obvious that I'm not super committed or interested in anyone particular one.

Is it better to pursue just one at a time for exactly what I'm seeking?

Posted

Your dating style is entirely up to you. If the women don't know each other you can pursue them serially or together, as long as you don't lie to them. You can't tell one you are into monogomy & exclusive with her if you are dating the others. If they do know each other you have to pick one. If she rejects you then you can't move on because the others will know they were 2nd or 3rd choice

  • Like 2
Posted

If you've been on enough dates with all of them enough to decide you see them as such. Your choice looks like it's already made...

Posted

I would pursue only the ones you really like. Otherwise you are sending mixed signals.

Posted (edited)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qHcoMMaW2ZU

 

had to be done

 

Edit: I agree with other posters here. Once you get over a certain number of dates with them you need to make a decision based on what works best for you.

Edited by Mrin
  • Author
Posted

I hear you about mixed signals. I guess the truth is I just want to have a bunch of FWB until that right one comes along. I don't want anything serious or even "labeled". It'd be great to just be able to hang out with girls and let it be what it is. But every time I invite a girl to anything it's like - oh no what does it mean, what are the consequences, etc...

How can I avoid this feeling of significant consequences in hanging out? Maybe by inviting girls to hang out in group hang outs?

Posted

You're not exclusive with someone. Don't act exclusive with someone. If they want to be exclusive with you they have to make the case for it.

Posted

the one you see as a female friend: No. The one you see as FWB: Maybe. The one you see as gf material: Yes. A few more gf material types: Of course--as long as they are not in same circles and you don't drag it out forever. Good luck!

Posted
But every time I invite a girl to anything it's like - oh no what does it mean, what are the consequences, etc...

How can I avoid this feeling of significant consequences in hanging out?

 

You have to be honest with them up front... "I'm not interested in a relationship at this point - I just want to hang out and have fun."

 

If they start catching feelings for you, remind them you aren't interested in falling in love at this point in your life, or in being exclusive. If they keep seeing you knowing what you want, it's on them.

 

As far as which of these girls to pursue, I would not pursue the one you only see as a friend... although you can start a friendship with her. Just do not in any way flirt or show romantic interest in her. The other two... sure, as long as they don't know each other.

Posted
I hear you about mixed signals. I guess the truth is I just want to have a bunch of FWB until that right one comes along. I don't want anything serious or even "labeled". It'd be great to just be able to hang out with girls and let it be what it is. But every time I invite a girl to anything it's like - oh no what does it mean, what are the consequences, etc...

How can I avoid this feeling of significant consequences in hanging out? Maybe by inviting girls to hang out in group hang outs?

 

Do these women know you are seeking to screw them all until one is a solid 10?

 

I find women like to know what they are to you, me being a woman I know I don't like the what I call "limbo" bit of dating.

 

You are either dating to find a girl or dating for fwb - not entirely sure you can do both at once without it being extremely shadey.

 

Just my 2p

  • Like 1
Posted

So you basically just want to sleep around?

You're the type of guy women post threads about on this website!!

  • Like 2
Posted

My only suggestion is to make sure whatever it is you do now, you will be able to live with later...

×
×
  • Create New...