Rsebat0 Posted April 30, 2014 Posted April 30, 2014 Getting over One-itis....(?) Hello fellows, Long story short. I met this girl in college and although we didnt connect for the first two weeks a couple of opportunities let us further on to have a wonderful weekend like boyfriend and girlfriend. She has had a boyfriend for 1 year and 6 months which made me question countless times how did it happen and if i had a chance to take his place. I had the complete control of it and she was the one texting me all the time but over time I developed One itis and she took control of it all progressively. A week ago I realized I was suffering from One itis and that I was taking everything without even complaining , I was the one pushing to take her out without her making any effort at all and of course she would ignore me completely when her boyfriend was around (he works far away and comes from time to time , like every weekend or every 15 days etc.). I believe I was being used and she said we couldnt kiss anymore because she had a boyfriend etc. she was starting to feel guilty. I realized I was the one texting long messages and getting short answers in return like a sucker, I took her to exciting venues and awesome places but at the end of the night she would just ignore me as if she was taking the fun and then going back to her boyfriend. I am now back home (6000 miles away from her) and will return to her city in a month or so. I have been texting her a while but all I get is short answers and pointless conversations. Yesterday out of frustration I asked her "theres a question that ive wanting to ask for a while now. Do you ever think this (you and me) will ever get somewhere else than a hot/cold friendship ?" and she answered "I dont know" . I was honestly hoping for a No so I could just suck it up and say **** it. and then I said. "We clearly dont feel the same way and thats completely okay.. but i feel vulnerable and this doesnt happen often at all.. which is why this is all over the place" and she just wrote a sad smile. I want to understand why can she spend lots of time without even saying a word to me and why am I the one who always succumbs and texts first. I also want to know why girls just stay with these kind of guys when they can have an awesome and more exciting life with somebody who can offer all those things. Dont get me wrong , I want and will move on but the question bounces in my head. I honestly want her to miss me and realize what she lost but for some reason I think she can just shrug it off and not care... and that hurts. I sometimes miss her specially cause there is not much for me back home and so I get caught in this vicious cycle of thinking about her and re living memories etc. } .I would like somebody who can explain me a bit of what happened , in general terms cause every girl is different. Advices is what I need fellows. Thank you.
Assasda Posted April 30, 2014 Posted April 30, 2014 What has happened, is that you are in the FRIENDZONE, and now you are like a gay best friend to her. And she is not romatically attracted to you. You got to the friendzone, by putting her High high high up on the pedestal after you had a fantastic time with her. Stop being a complete chump and move on, thats the only way you get out of the friendzone. It was so, so sad reading your post
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