Technaught Posted April 29, 2014 Posted April 29, 2014 So I've had this gal friend for about a long time now. She's been here for me during my first relationship which ended horribly. I started falling for her and began talking to her to sorta move my way up. Last December, I was one of the only few people that she revealed to that she had depression/suicidal thoughts. Alot if ppl weren't around for her so I was her anchor for the next couple of months. I've prevented several suicide attempts and even convinced her to see a psychiatrist. Throughout that time, she's been talking to these guys(who act like complete idiots and are inconsiderate of her feelings) and I really haven't bothered as much. Even at recent her ex tried to contact her and sorta hold on to her. He has a gf right now and he's in a different state than us. She hates that he lies to her about loving her when he obviously has someone in his life. It was around that time that she finally heard how I feel about her, which she had apparently expected for a while, and was happy to hear. She's since cut this guy out her life, but it seems that she's always meeting a new guy online or in our school, once she kicks another out. I'm reluctant to take a step forward because she still suffers at times from her "past baggage". My friends want me to drop her because they don't like that she wants to try to commit to me and is constantly talking to these other guys. What do I do?
Gaeta Posted May 7, 2014 Posted May 7, 2014 This girl is not equipped in any way to be in a healthy relationship. She has serious emotional/mental problems that she needs to address with a professional. How can she love someone else when she doesn't even love herself? That is why she is seeking all this attention from guys, she only values herself through the eyes of others. She is down a destructive path. You're like the shrink that fell in love with his patient. She was vulnerable, you helped her, made you feel good and important. Do yourself a favor and walk away. 1
Zahara Posted May 7, 2014 Posted May 7, 2014 You're never going to have a relationship with this woman in the right sense of the word. She has emotional and mental issues and until she gets that managed with long term professional help, she's never going to have the tools to thrive in a relationship. I echo the fact that she seeks validation from men because she sees nothing in herself that's valuable. External validation from men that treat he like crap because that is probably all she knows. She jumps from guy to guy because that's the only way she knows how to fill that empty void inside her. It's a pattern that will be hard to break until she decides she needs help and wants to change. You're young. You have a life ahead of you. Walk away.
d0nnivain Posted May 7, 2014 Posted May 7, 2014 You don't have to walk away. If you can handle it, you can still be her friend but don't try to be her BF & don't play amateur shrink.
soccerrprp Posted May 7, 2014 Posted May 7, 2014 What do I do? DO NOT be her bf. She is not healthy for a positive relationship and you'll only get sucked in and consumed by her "baggage." Be there for her if you think you can handle it, but remember that in all things, you'll need to know when to simply let go less you become a victim.
Recommended Posts