lostinmazecalledlife Posted April 29, 2014 Posted April 29, 2014 I am a younger sister to my older brother and we are super close but we do not need to talk everyday to feel close. However, I myself am having a problem with my boyfriend. His sister is older by less than a year and they are 'close" as he puts it. I can see that he follows her around like a puppy, thinks that everything she says is gold and puts her on a pedestal. I do not see it from her though; she is not like that with him at all. I'm just wondering where to draw the line… We just moved in and while I was away for the weekend he folded up a beautiful rug I put out on display because he thought it looked better without it. However, he has taken his sister's drawing and (really ugly) ornaments to decorate OUR space. At the same time, he posted to instagram a younger picture of them with the caption #mysoulmate #sisterlove…I mean, sister love is fine but SOULMATE really? I thought that was supposed to be the person you find that you want to spend the rest of eternity with? I am not comfortable with his infatuation with his sister but I do not know how to tell him without coming across like a jealous psycho. I understand they might have similar style and taste in things but I feel like he puts her up all the time, whereas with me it’s always negative. Why can't he show me the same level of love and support? I know he is not an incestuous freak but I can't help but feel like he has HER as the ideal woman in his mind and no one is going to live up to that. I don't want to be in a relationship with someone who is kind of in love with someone else. How should I tell him this? P.S. He has been like this about her since I met him, when we first met after about a week he showed me her modelling photos in her bra etc. Red flag? Or am I overreacting?
bluegreen Posted April 29, 2014 Posted April 29, 2014 Not at all that is major creepy !!!! Something is indeed very messed up in their relationship and it can be hidden in their past am not professional but do you remember friends series when Rachel met cute guy and he did : tickling and chasing around stuff with his sis she was like OK weird and when sis invited brother to share bath with her Rachel RUN out. Might I suggest you google this and take few giant steps back ? 2
Ruby Slippers Posted April 29, 2014 Posted April 29, 2014 Ewwwww, this sounds bad I think your choices are to accept your boyfriend as he is, or not. He's not going to change, and he'll most likely get defensive if you bring it up, because this is a life-long, entrenched relationship that is not likely to change much. I swear that the sister of one of my ex-boyfriends had a crush on him. He didn't reciprocate her strange behavior in any way, but she was very weird. She was always asking him for details about his sex life, spent tons of money on gifts for him, and he told me she was a royal bitch to every woman he ever dated. I guess she saw us as competition! 2
Mrin Posted April 29, 2014 Posted April 29, 2014 Ok that is super creepy. I am insanely close to my own sister - or at least i thought I was. But ya, that pegs the shiver meter. So, let's all just say that this is purely platonic and good. The thing I would be worried about is that the most important person in your life would not be him, but his sister. Think about it. You could make him incredibly happy but if the sister doesn't like you, you're toast. In some ways you would be in some sort of triad relationship. And the closer you get to him, the more you risk alienating and upsetting the sister. Kinda sounds like a can't win situation to me. As the song goes, "what you've done is put yourself between a bullet and a target..." 1
Haydn Posted April 29, 2014 Posted April 29, 2014 Lots of bothers and sisters idolise each other. My sister is older than me and when younger i took my cue from her. I thought she was the cats whiskers and i always promoted her when i could. Although i never showed pictures of her in her underwear. Just ask him outright. Not that he has an inappropriate interest in sister, try to broach the subject gently. 1
crederer Posted April 29, 2014 Posted April 29, 2014 Yah red flags. Consensual incest isn't as uncommon as many people think. Most estimates of it are like 15-20percent.
Author lostinmazecalledlife Posted May 1, 2014 Author Posted May 1, 2014 Thanks for your advice guys. I really thought I was connecting dots where they wasn't any connection. Now I am starting to think my instincts have been right this whole time. Thank god she does not live in the same country and when they are with each other they do not do the physical tickling/cuddling ****. It is just a mental thing, I think, on his behalf. You are right, I will just be making him happy, he will be making me happy but in the end of the day probably the most important one to him is her… Going to try talk about it to him :-S
SoleMate Posted May 1, 2014 Posted May 1, 2014 I've been on Loveshack many years and feel at times I'll never hear anything more that's new under the sun. Then.....THIS. #sisterlove #soulmate sister pix in bra follows her around like a puppy That's a new one. I have no idea what to even file this under. How about.....DONE. 1
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