cush Posted February 5, 2005 Posted February 5, 2005 I wonder if anyone has been in a relationship like this..... It is basically going nowhere, and while in it, sometimes look for excuses, or a way out. But then once finally out, looking back, and seeing all the others good points, and being extrememly sad and depressed. While together, instead of trying to compromise, we looked for ways to fight, and try to prove which person is right. Over time, this became ugly, and both parties carried around alot of hurt. But once apart from each other, both parties are extremely sad. Is it the old age "can't live with her, can't live without her"... has anyone else ever turned one of these relationships into something meaningful? has anyone else experienced this?
DinNJ Posted February 6, 2005 Posted February 6, 2005 I've been through one and will learn from my experience of it. The first sign I EVER feel of 'somethings not right' I'm gettin' out of it. I too, have been in the relationship that is on/off again and missed her when I was off. But I didn't miss it once we got back together and those ol' haunting feelings came back. Soon, you'll become mentally and physically exhausted of the BS. And even then, you'll still go back to it. It's when you feel like you've lost your own self respect, that you'll decide and learn that an ex, is an ex for reason.
kush Posted February 6, 2005 Posted February 6, 2005 Excellent point. I think you hit the nail on the head. I feel many times like I have "lost my self respect" Thanks, that actually helps me feel much better. It seems as soon as I am over her, she starts to call, and call, and call. Then finally I answer, she is all sad, sweet, and vulnerable, but as soon as we spend a few hours together, it is just like old times. Her putting me down, her arguing, she is always right, etc etc. I really need to run from this one.
DinNJ Posted February 6, 2005 Posted February 6, 2005 If the feeling of... ' this relationship is inevitably doomed' comes to mind often... chances are, it is. So why waste more time. The best predictor or future behavior is past behavior. Some people have a hard time accepting that. Whether it be, fear of being alone, fear of starting over... whatever. But usually the fear is what draws two people back to a bad relationship. Sometimes people forget to focus on the bad and only remember the very little good in the past relationship. Others hope against hope that their SO will 'change' into the person they've always wanted.... some believe they can actually change their SO into the person they've always wanted. People don't change their personality traits. Yes, drug users, alcoholics, even physical abusers can 'change' their ways... but overall people who just 'don't get along' without the serious issues.... usually only change temporarily. True colors within deep rooted personality traits will always surface again.
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