TheNewMe2014 Posted April 29, 2014 Posted April 29, 2014 I've been dating an absolutely wonderful woman now for over two months. Some of you may have remembered some of my trials and tribulations early on. Fortunately, with patience our relationship has continued to mature. I cannot remember a relationship where I've more thoroughly enjoyed and someone who matches and fits me as well as she does. We've gone away together (with a friend for a weekend), we are planning (just her and I) to go away in a couple of months. She called me and asked to meet her friend and her hubby for a dinner date last weekend and we've stayed over night at my place several times. As far as I can tell our kissing is very passionate as well. On Sunday evening, after almost three days together already - we hung out and unwound from a very long weekend before I headed home. So what's the problem? I'm not sure there is a problem - as far as I can tell the relationship is going very very well and I'm very happy. However, to this point - I still (and you may remember early on) can't get her to open up. I've told her I like her a lot, she's special and similar. But I can't get her to respond with similar words. She'll 'code' it. Like two weekends ago we had a perfect weekend together and it was just her and me. She said it was a 'perfect sunday' - perfect food, drinks, and company. This weekend she said she had a great great great weekend (we were with friends most of the weekend). She'll hold my hand, hug, or kiss me at my initiation, but won't on her own. Though, on Saturday, after a little drinking she was a bit more 'touchy' with me. I don't think she's disinterested - considering she took me to meet her friends and a friend posted a pic of us as couple on facebook for the first time and she pointed it out (in a positive way). What I do know is she hasn't had many, if any, long-term relationships and work has always been more important in the past. I also know that she didn't come from the best family unit. I'm wondering if that background is part of the problem. Considering we don't chat/see much during the week because of our schedules (we text a bit an usually chat at least once a week briefly) it makes it sometimes difficult on me because I feel very strongly about her. I do know, through our friends, that she does like me too. Everything with her is a very slow process - and I don't mind. Literally every single time I see her our relationship takes the slightest movement forward - never stagnant and never backward. But it sometimes tough/rough and just wanted a woman's view on why she seems so bottled up? Is she scared? Does she not know how to act? Is she just taking things really slowly? Thanks for the insight.
Gaeta Posted April 29, 2014 Posted April 29, 2014 Maybe she is just not a touchy-feely person. Not everyone is good at displaying affection. Why so little communication during the week? If you spoke more often it would help create a stronger feeling of familiarity between you 2, that is what she needs to open up. If you speak only once a week, then you see her only on the weekends, you don't feel familiar to her yet, after 2 months that is only a handful of dates so you must still feel like a brand new guy she is shy around. 1
Author TheNewMe2014 Posted April 29, 2014 Author Posted April 29, 2014 Honestly, we communicate just a little during the week - mostly out of respect for her schedule. I know it's not just me - some friends also get frustrated they don't get a chance to catch up during the week. She has a full-time job where she has no access to phones or true breaks and in the evenings, she has another job that occupies much of her time. She also tries to get to the gym twice a week. A couple of weeks ago she mentioned texting is better during the week so she can multi-task (she is a workaholic during the week). So I pretty much just text her and maybe call her once a week. I wouldn't consider ourselves 'new' to each other. We've pretty much spent the last three full weekends together and prior to that, almost every other weekend together. Occasionally we've gotten out for dates during the week. From our mutual good friend - I've heard that she isn't a very touchy feely person. So, you are right about that. Maybe you are right, though and she is still shy.
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