PinkSapphire Posted April 29, 2014 Posted April 29, 2014 I will admit that dudes are confounding anyway and almost impossible to figure out. My own analyses and suspicions on the reasons for this behavior are probably wrong and irrelevant anyway, I want to know what to do. I've had this friend, who freely admits he manipulates people and lies to get what he wants, so his friendship doesn't mean a whole lot to me. He's fun to hang out with, we like the same activities, and it's great for when you are lonely or single or recently dumped, etc. Also, I tend to value all relationships in my life so I guess that's why we were still friends. A few weeks ago, however, he said he no longer wanted to be friends. He said he cared too much for me and needed to move on and pursue his own goals. I know that he's been trying to buy a house and I also can see, though he would never admit this to me, that he's been trying to pursue this girl we've been seeing out at the clubs for about a month now. If he would be honest with me I could give him advice on how to get her, but when I try now he only denies it. Anyway, I immediately implemented no contact and purposely avoided places I knew he would be - just for now, I'll go back in a bit since my friends are missing me and asking questions. I just figured space would be good at the outset. The strange part is, he is suddenly commenting on a lot of my fb posts (which I know doesn't really mean much, just weird) and then on Thursday night he called me. I answered since he never called during our friendship, claiming an aversion to phone calls, so I thought it might be important. It wasn't; he asked how I was (fine), if I needed anything (no), and if I was home (....yes). It was awkward for sure, and I started to worry he was going to come to the house. He didn't, luckily, and finally I figured I'd ask "how are you" which started a narrative. He has since initiated texting conversations everyday except one. I try to give one-word answers and ignore, but then sometimes I feel like I'm being rude so expand a little more, yikes. So, the question. Is it okay to just say Please stop contacting me? Do I need to have an explanation of I think you were right to end the friendship and now we should respect each other's space and stop contact for awhile, etc etc, BS....? What does one do here? I was weirdly under the impression that ending a friendship meant it was over period. As in, no more nothing. Thanks for the help! For ages, I am 27 and he is in his early 40s (either 42 or 43 I think?).
Standard-Fare Posted April 29, 2014 Posted April 29, 2014 Why don't you say something like: "Look, I find it confusing and weird that you told me you wanted to end our friendship ... but then have remained in contact since. That's not ending the friendship. But I agree now that this relationship isn't good for either of us, so I hope we can maintain a respectful distance." 1
preraph Posted April 29, 2014 Posted April 29, 2014 You said first thing he manipulates people and lies to get what he wants. So that's what he's doing now. If you want to end it completely, tell him you took this stopping being friends apparently more seriously than he did and that you wish him well but don't want him to contact you anymore.
esteem-jam Posted May 11, 2014 Posted May 11, 2014 You said first thing he manipulates people and lies to get what he wants. So that's what he's doing now. If you want to end it completely, tell him you took this stopping being friends apparently more seriously than he did and that you wish him well but don't want him to contact you anymore. The question is what is he trying to get? Is the OP male or female?
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