roe007 Posted April 29, 2014 Posted April 29, 2014 Well!! I am going through a break up so it is not pretty to deal with. I just want to be clear as if this break up happened because of her unstable mind. I will give a rough story we fell in love and this was like the best thing ever. She was having a lot of emotional problems her ex was abusive and they broke up like months ago when we started talking and she had problems at home as well and her ex threatening her with their photos. So what happened was one fine day she walks away from our relationship saying she has some personal issues. She don't want anymore relationships in life. I couldn't understand anything at all well maybe the way she acts is right for her but ours was a committed relationship and she a day before break up claimed how happy she was with me. So none of the break up reason made sense. When I asked about these personal pressures she said it is strictly personal. She told my friend her ex is trying to chat up but I don't know if that is the reason. So I tried my best to win her back but I realized it is over and I stopped contacting and pursuing but she sometimes texts me out of blue. Saying she want to meet or she misses me. I reply back after a few hours asking why but she won't reply at all and goes cold. It is difficult to move on but I am trying to but I do love her so much. what really is her problem? I have been nice to her those are her words. Few weeks after break up she send a text saying sorry for hurting me so much. But stabbing someone to death and saying sorry for it is like rubbing more salt into the wound. All the nice things she said gone in a day I never realized that. The day before break up she was all nice the day she broke up the whole lot of mean things she said was really hurtful how could someone change in a flash? I don't know if I could move on because I constantly feel her deep down and I have dreams about her on top of that I get messages out of blue or calls. My parents like her thanks to me that they also ask about her I am devastated.
Author roe007 Posted May 6, 2014 Author Posted May 6, 2014 (edited) okay so we broke up and it has been a month now and for past two weeks I have ignored her calls and messages maintaining a low profile trying to move on with my life. She broke up with me for reasons she only knows so when she said she don't want to continue a relationship I tried everything then I realized things won't be back to normal again. I stopped contacting her but she kept messaging randomly simple texts like "u there" or "are you busy?" at first I would just respond in one lines after hours then I would just ignore contacting but she would send messages still. At one point I said to stop messaging and I am not comfortable being a friend if that was her intention. But in these past two weeks she would text me asking random things. Like her phone language should be changed or she want me to take her to a doctor because she is sick. I don't know why she is doing this because I clearly said i am not interested in a friendship and I don't want to start an argument again with her asking why she is contacting. I still love her so much so that it is hard to cope with it. Can anyone please help me here? I still maintain only a small level of contact if things she ask is important else I just ignore her. I am not mean so I didn't ask her the second time to stop messaging so what does she want? She clearly knows I am not comfortable with these messages but why is she still doing this? Is there someone who had a similar experience? Edited May 7, 2014 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
FredJones80 Posted May 6, 2014 Posted May 6, 2014 I would just ignore her, even "important" messages. She dumped you, so she can't rely on you for anything now. As others have said before, teach her actions have consequences. No you = no emotional support.
barky2 Posted May 6, 2014 Posted May 6, 2014 Women hate to be hated. Prime example. If you get all happy with her again, she'll ease her guilt. Let her drownd in it. Just stop contacting all together, if she wants to be with you, you'll know it. Barky
Chi townD Posted May 6, 2014 Posted May 6, 2014 She pulling on the leash to see if the dog is still there. Everytime you respond to any of those nothing texts, she knows she still has, at least, a small percentage of power over you.
Elle1975 Posted May 6, 2014 Posted May 6, 2014 Block her. If your provider doesn't let you do that, change phone number.
KaliLove Posted May 6, 2014 Posted May 6, 2014 Women hate to be hated. Prime example. If you get all happy with her again, she'll ease her guilt. Let her drownd in it. Just stop contacting all together, if she wants to be with you, you'll know it. Barky It's not just women..everyone hates to be hated. That said, I agree with this and Chi's post completely.
barky2 Posted May 6, 2014 Posted May 6, 2014 It's not just women..everyone hates to be hated. That said, I agree with this and Chi's post completely. Lol it's been debated on here so many times. But honestly, if a woman breaks up with a guy, they try and befriend them out of guilt. Everything they do after a breakup to a guy is to ease their guilt. Most men don't care...that's the honest truth. But it's just my opinion. Barky
Maverick89 Posted May 6, 2014 Posted May 6, 2014 She is giving you the commonly known breadcrumb that you probably read about around here. You should just ignore these texts, simply because she asked you to not be in her life anymore, and suddenly she just starts to text you? She feels the need to contact you... I mean come on? really? take her to the doctor? You should be telling her to ask somebody else, her new BF, family member... for all you care she should crawl to the doctor herself. I'm not mean... I'm not telling you to do this by heart... just go No Contact... it's not for her, it's for you... you need to heal quickly. I wish I knew this back when my ex broke up with me. So, don't answer... you don't need to be polite, you guys are nothing more, you're not friends and you don't want to be her friend... That's more than enough reason for not answering her texts... and quite frankly, who cares what she thinks about you for not answering. Don't answer... these texts mean nothing... if she wants to be back together she will tell you so... So don't feed feelings of hope about these texts... they don't mean she's having second thoughts... she's just easing her life into a new lifestyle, one without you... Sorry to say this, but this was my experience at least. 2
Author roe007 Posted May 7, 2014 Author Posted May 7, 2014 I agree I don't want her back either because she kinda went back to her ex again even though I don't know for sure but I heard from one of her friends. I am not someone mean so I try to not reply at all. This whole thing is hard since its a fresh break up and the urge is always there to make things right but I keep myself away... hope things heal sooner and thanks to everyone who replied I really appreciate these supporting messages
KaliLove Posted May 7, 2014 Posted May 7, 2014 Lol it's been debated on here so many times. But honestly, if a woman breaks up with a guy, they try and befriend them out of guilt. Everything they do after a breakup to a guy is to ease their guilt. Most men don't care...that's the honest truth. But it's just my opinion. Barky Maybe my exes have all been weird then, hehe.
Author roe007 Posted May 18, 2014 Author Posted May 18, 2014 I have posted here before it has been 2 months now after break up(her decision to break up saying she has other priorities in life) and the feeling haven't changed still sad but trying hard to move on. I have maintained the no contact mostly ignoring her bread crumbs lately. So she kept silent for a week and then again started messaging but I ignored and she was furious( i think so) she send me a horde of messages saying I am negative its her mistake that she was talking to me and would never message again. Still i didn't reply and she blocked me on whatsapp well I thought finally she would stop at least she realized I am not interested in talking. So again after a week she began messaging first one was "hey" I didn't reply then she said she want to meet and stuff still now I am not replying and again today she sent me one of my old picture when I was kid. I don't know how it ended up with her. Seriously I don't understand why she is doing this. She left it was her decision when i realized it I stayed away didn't go behind begging I have self respect as well. I am not dating anyone because I don't want to break someone else's heart but this is kind of weird. She keeps on testing my patience I have told long before i don't want a friendship and I don't want contact. But still she messages random stuff friendly messages I seriously don't understand why. I keep silent and ignore those and I don't know if i am doing the right thing but the urge is still there to text her back I am holding my urge and speaking to myself not to message her. I need some insights to this problem if possible.
No Limit Posted May 18, 2014 Posted May 18, 2014 They always want what they can't get. Why don't you block her for a change?
Wings Of Love Posted May 18, 2014 Posted May 18, 2014 You're doing well by not responding. It sounds as if she's only texting constantly to alleviate her guilt. I get the feeling she has no respect for your feelings; if she did, she would understand that you don't want to talk right now. Is it at all possible for you to block her number?
Author roe007 Posted May 18, 2014 Author Posted May 18, 2014 I didn't block her because last time she stormed off and blocked me said she won't text me again. I thought that was it and I am off the hook. Now I am seriously thinking about blocking her but I don't know somewhere down there the feeling is not allowing to block her. I delete the messages though as it comes so I won't feel like replying later on and I deleted her from the contact list. our families know each other and are family friends too so its kinda tricky
Elle1975 Posted May 18, 2014 Posted May 18, 2014 I didn't block her because last time she stormed off and blocked me said she won't text me again. I thought that was it and I am off the hook. Now I am seriously thinking about blocking her but I don't know somewhere down there the feeling is not allowing to block her. I delete the messages though as it comes so I won't feel like replying later on and I deleted her from the contact list. our families know each other and are family friends too so its kinda tricky Well, you can always tell her you don't want her to keep contacting you.
Author roe007 Posted May 18, 2014 Author Posted May 18, 2014 Well, you can always tell her you don't want her to keep contacting you. Yea I clearly told her that twice. two weeks after break up she was so mean and all that so I realized there is no way back so i told I accept it but I don't want a friendship or contact with her again. When she messaged me after that too I told a friendship won't work so stop bothering. She would get frustrated when I don't message at all and gets angry start saying I am showing attitude and then blocks me. After a week she again messages. This is what she does I just delete the messages. I didn't block her still
Elle1975 Posted May 18, 2014 Posted May 18, 2014 Yea I clearly told her that twice. two weeks after break up she was so mean and all that so I realized there is no way back so i told I accept it but I don't want a friendship or contact with her again. When she messaged me after that too I told a friendship won't work so stop bothering. She would get frustrated when I don't message at all and gets angry start saying I am showing attitude and then blocks me. After a week she again messages. This is what she does I just delete the messages. I didn't block her still Block her. If your respective families don't understand, even though it's none of their business, so be it.
Author roe007 Posted May 24, 2014 Author Posted May 24, 2014 (edited) Well my ex after she broke it off with me began contacting me randomly. I ignored and didn't reply but she would contact anyway just friendly conversation. I was not moving on from the relationship like this. When she didn't get any reply she was rude and messaged me saying she won't follow me around anymore and she won't even talk if she see me from somewhere. Well then after two days she again called asking about me and the talk was normal I didn't show any sadness or anything. Then again today she called I didn't pick up but I was determined to put an end to it so I messaged her. I asked why is she still in contact? and asked if she loves me? she said "I don't love you" then I said I don't need a friendship with you and I deserve better than a disrespectful relationship so don't contact me again. Well for that she said she is going to delete my number and everything so I replied I don't have time for this and blocked her... Any thoughts on this guys? I never contacted her and I wanted to stop her contacting me too. I don't want to keep thinking what I said was mean or rude I still love her but I want to move on Edited May 24, 2014 by roe007
Elle1975 Posted May 24, 2014 Posted May 24, 2014 Eh.. who cares what she thinks.. she said she didn't love you.. so... I know you probably care because you see yourself as a decent human being, and I'm going to assume you are, but decent human beings also have the right to cut off exes out of their lives... What were you supposed to say? "Thank you for you friendship, but I'm in pain right now, so please don't contact me" Meh.. that's stuff for your close friends.. not for her. You asked the question, she answered, you blocked her. Done deal. You walk away with your self-esteem. That's good. 3
Scorpio Chick Posted May 24, 2014 Posted May 24, 2014 You didn't do anything wrong. Actually, the whole way you handled it is pretty cool. Not everyone could handle it like that. It is selfish of anyone who has less feelings for another to feel they have the luxury of having a 'friendship' with them. She acted like an embarrassing pill. I think she got humiliated that you wouldn't just jump up and down and do tricks for her. In her mind I guess calling and texting you was her giving you a treat for doing that. You didn't and now she has to think, 'hmm, I don't have the power I thought and damn, he's tough.' Good for you! Hmfff to her!! 2
Author roe007 Posted May 24, 2014 Author Posted May 24, 2014 Thanks guys ) well it is really sad when heard the "I don't love you" part but I expected it so that I could just stop her contacting me. I controlled myself not to be too emotional. Hope she realizes her mistake one day
Marco Valerio Posted May 24, 2014 Posted May 24, 2014 Thanks guys ) well it is really sad when heard the "I don't love you" part but I expected it so that I could just stop her contacting me. I controlled myself not to be too emotional. Hope she realizes her mistake one day Don not think about that, maybe one day she will or maybe not, that shouldn't make you feel better. I do think that not everyone is capable to trully love others, think about that, feel proud of being able to trully love, because trully love doesn't fade easely. I send you all my love friend !!
Natsume21 Posted May 24, 2014 Posted May 24, 2014 Thanks guys ) well it is really sad when heard the "I don't love you" part but I expected it so that I could just stop her contacting me. I controlled myself not to be too emotional. Hope she realizes her mistake one day You took back your power. Way to go dude!
Frank2thepoint Posted May 25, 2014 Posted May 25, 2014 Well for that she said she is going to delete my number and everything so I replied I don't have time for this and blocked her... Any thoughts on this guys? I never contacted her and I wanted to stop her contacting me too. I don't want to keep thinking what I said was mean or rude I still love her but I want to move on After she said she is going to delete your number, you didn't have to even reply back. You could of just proceeded to block her. But you still did very good. You did nothing mean or rude. You were direct and you made yourself clear. Walk hard.
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