Mla Posted April 28, 2014 Posted April 28, 2014 Still can't switch thoughts or depression off at 6 months still long for him hate he moved on and jus cried re reading old texts he is blocked on all media I did look in past once and regretted it and felt like **** compared to his new gf but I still struggle to be happy alone and still can't comprehend anyone else I still feel il never get all the qualities n connection I has with him again I'm on datin sites but hardly reply to fussy n comparing n refused dates etc still not ready at all I hate how it all panned out perfectly for him straight away and I'm still in this place sad everyday like even started medication recently reluctantly as I'm so depressed everyday don't feel iv had one happy day or light at end of tunnel a min and tips on how to switch off and push yourself to move on?
tiff1234 Posted April 28, 2014 Posted April 28, 2014 I just started hanging out with friends as much as I could but I would allow myself time to grieve too. It's completely normal to not be okay at 6 months. When I have thoughts that I obsess over I try to set out a certain time each day to think about it. Say 4pm? Then if during the day I'll think "I'll think about it later it isn't time yet" and then do whatever I could to distract myself. It'll be hard at first but if you keep it up or try to, eventually it'll get easier and easier. I've felt exactly as you do. The whole "I'll never find that connection again" and I can promise you that you will. have you had any serious relationships before this one? If you have, remember how you got over that.
Author Mla Posted April 28, 2014 Author Posted April 28, 2014 I have but unfortunately via I got attachment issues it takes eventually meeting someone else and falling for them to finally get over last as I struggle to get over n b happy on my own which I know I need to work on That's a good idea to schedule an allowed time to think jus really struggling to distract in general even with others and work and gym at the min It's not jus the connection I know il be close to someone again but sadly even tho the bad parts made me logically realise we couldn't work the good ticked every box I had him down as full package attracted worked out with me was healthy and in shape first person I felt I really loved and get same back and physically was absolutely perfect! I tried with two people since we split and jus was nowhere near the same and pushed me back even more I so not get tht expression to get over someone get under someone else as to me nobody compares right now I'm very envious at how easy he could detach himself and push himself to give someone else a chance and move on and be close and happy again
STM206 Posted April 29, 2014 Posted April 29, 2014 (edited) Still can't switch thoughts or depression off at 6 months still long for him hate he moved on and jus cried re reading old texts he is blocked on all media I did look in past once and regretted it and felt like **** compared to his new gf but I still struggle to be happy alone and still can't comprehend anyone else I still feel il never get all the qualities n connection I has with him again I'm on datin sites but hardly reply to fussy n comparing n refused dates etc still not ready at all I hate how it all panned out perfectly for him straight away and I'm still in this place sad everyday like even started medication recently reluctantly as I'm so depressed everyday don't feel iv had one happy day or light at end of tunnel a min and tips on how to switch off and push yourself to move on? First and foremost, I understand your pain. Know that many of us are dealing with the same emotions so you aren't alone. The best advice I can give you is to try your hardest to not let the emotions consume you. When these sad/negative thoughts intrude your mind... Try to not react to them, let them be and pass. Depression and anxiety feed off of each other like a vicious cycle. Say you have a thought of "I'll never find anyone like him" your emotions run high, panic, sadness and loneliness set in. You get depressed, and then the thoughts continues to pop up (maybe in different forms). When you try and not react to the thoughts, for example - just observe and let it pass, they tend to lessen in severity with time. Everything points to giving things time. This won't last forever, but you are the only one who can fight it by not fighting it. I hope this all makes sense. I've started seeing a therapist and have spent hours online researching this... That's the best answer I can give you. Other helpful tips that help me. 1.) Rumination is often due to lack of activity (be it social, physical, spending time with family and friends) 2.) Try and find one thing a day that makes you smile. Even a plant that sits outside your window. Observe it, embrace it in each and every way possible. 3.) TALK to people. A therapist, a family member, a close friend - tell them when you're having a bad day - you'd be surprised at how many people are open, receptive and even may be having a bad day themselves. It's common to want to shut people out, I'm guilty of this - but nothing feeds the sadness like isolating yourself. 4.) Treat yourself once in a while, even if it's a massage, movie, ice cream come - don't deprive yourself of the little joys life has to offer 5.) Know that you will one day find another partner to share your life with, if you open yourself up to the idea - but again this all stems down to giving yourself time to work on yourself, let your heart find it's spark again and take a chance on love. I hope this helps, even in the slightest. Edited April 29, 2014 by STM206
Author Mla Posted April 29, 2014 Author Posted April 29, 2014 It does thankyou I really appreciate the replies and advice! I'm currently Austin to see a therapist I need to turn my thoughts around as I'm so negative which doesn't help and have strange automatic thoughts I hate I do isolate myself as I feel I keep on and people don't relate to how I think sometimes then I feel strange like il turn advice around wen people say ul find better to my ex and think see he will so better or conjoir up strange scenarios in my head and even I think where the hell did tht come from I'm jus still struggling to let go after all this time even tho I had reasons for closure but it doesn't result in closure unfortunately
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