Balance11 Posted April 28, 2014 Posted April 28, 2014 So i've known this girl for around a month, we've been dating for half of that totaling about 4 dates, one initial meet up after i finished work one night (this is before the 4 dates) and once after she finished work. She's arranged to meet me before her work tomorrow and she's on a night out on Saturday with friends and meant to be seeing me at my work and i will have to meet her friends, sounds good at first glance. We got into the topic of 'what are we' in recent texts and she was joking about it, but i was more serious eventually i said i wanted to be exclusive, she asked if that means i'm her boyfriend now to which i said yes. But then she just said 'good stuff' and all today texting she has just been awkward and very out of character, changed totally from the texting whilst dating. Sounds like she's having ago and ****ty small texts and just not being her. Surely if she wasn't happy or wanting a exclusive relationship she would have found a way out of that and wouldn't be discussing our next 'date' ? Its not like i've put it on facebook and gone over the top.
Philosoraptor Posted April 28, 2014 Posted April 28, 2014 Patience. Let this play out and don't just react on emotion. She may be backing up or she may just be having a pretty busy day. She's still discussing your next 'date', so leave it at that and let the cards fall.
Author Balance11 Posted April 28, 2014 Author Posted April 28, 2014 It was her that picked up on the topic in a way, i had said in a date earlier that same day i didn't consider her a friend, and she mentioned it in a joking way during texting after the date. I said i saw her as more than just a friend, and she joked on about being best buddies, and i took it alittle seriously and we got to the point where i just out and out said i wanted it just us and to be exclusive.
Poppyolive Posted April 28, 2014 Posted April 28, 2014 Important stuff like this needs to be face to face....its too easy to hide behind a phone screen and very hard to guage what the other person is saying/meaning. Hey, stop that now, leave it until your next date, if you feel comfortable bring up the topic. Something like what is it you're looking for, what would you like from us... Then express how you feel, what you want...and bam...easy! No guessing games!
Author Balance11 Posted April 28, 2014 Author Posted April 28, 2014 Quite hard to keep my emotions in check, been awhile since i 'dated' and i really like the girl, very much fallen for her already and i'm the type of person that when somethings in my head it eats away at me till i burst out and one way or the other i bring it up and it gets resolved. Anyway, i've decided not to text her anymore tonight unless she texts me, the last text she sent was just saying she was sure i'd choose somewhere nice to go out to when we meet up again (my text was leave the details to me, not as blunt or short as that of course) so there's nothing more to really add to that i think ?
GemmaUK Posted April 28, 2014 Posted April 28, 2014 You mention in here that she jokes around quite a lot Are you sure that what she has been doing isn't her usual joking around and that you're taking it more personally since your talk?
tiff1234 Posted April 28, 2014 Posted April 28, 2014 Maybe she's not really happy with the way you asked her out, like you didn't directly ask her in some nice gesture?
BDL Posted April 28, 2014 Posted April 28, 2014 Women are the ones to initiate the exclusivity talk, not guys. It ultimately falls on them to choose the guy they are dating. Guys can bring up the talk first but it doesnt end up well, as in your case. The only antidote to your issue and your situation is for you to immediately begin dating other women. That will lessen or curb your desire to be in a relationship with a girl who isnt as receptive.
Author Balance11 Posted April 28, 2014 Author Posted April 28, 2014 I thought exclusive was more the step before a relationship ? Still technically dating but both acknowledging we're only going to date each other rather than x amount of other partners ? She has text me since this, more normal, completely different from earlier.
Author Balance11 Posted April 28, 2014 Author Posted April 28, 2014 Okay so i'm trying to keep my cool here and not give in to emotion or base my actions on it (other than posting here). But the reply times get longer, the conversation awkward, not the same. Really don't know what i'm supposed to do now, completely ****ed it up after things going so well. Move on ?
Poppyolive Posted April 28, 2014 Posted April 28, 2014 You really need to relax.you've made the date...any other texts to and fro should be light, fluffy and fun. Enjoy the dating stage. Instead of worrying...why don't you use that energy to come up with a list of creative dates. You've said what you needed to say. She knows....if and when she's ready she'll open up about that. In the meantime you move on or chill out and enjoy. 4 dates in there is still a whole whack to learn and explore. 1
Author Balance11 Posted April 28, 2014 Author Posted April 28, 2014 Yea i know, i just get very agitated if i think i've over stepped or done something wrong, i'm very up front and i won't lie, i'd rather resolve it than let it fester. We know alot about each other, the dates are long and we've had a couple shorter meetings after i or she has finished work when the other was off. She's asking about dates we've made but she doesn't seem herself. I'd rather just know one way or another how she felt but i don't want to rush but i also don't want to leave it too long, i made this mistake last time with another girl with 'friendzone' result.
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