ldonnely Posted April 28, 2014 Posted April 28, 2014 I am only 17, and will be a senior in high school next year. Yes i know i am young, but this is a serious situation. I consider to have a bright future ahead of me. So i have a 4.0 GPA, have over 400 hours of volunteering, a bunch of leadership roles in school blah blah blah... I have always dreamed of going to West Point. If i should attend, then i would graduate as a second lieutenant in the US Army, with a plethora of opportunities to advance in my career. (I have always had the ultimate goal of becoming the first female Secretary of Defense! ) But then there is the love of my life. We have been together for years, but he is a marine (Currently deployed i Afghanistan.) This has been an ongoing long distance relationship, and it has been going very well! But he is going to go to the Naval Academy and become a Marine Officer after he returns from deployment. He would actually be attending the academy the same year i would be entering West Point. But everyone knows that there is a huge rivalry between Army and the Marines.... there's no way our relationship would work if i became an army officer and he a marine officer. IF I follow my heart I would get married to him, and attend a civilian college, then I could live on a military base and be the wife of an officer (I would love to be a nurse on base, or maybe a psychologist!) But then I wouldn't be an officer myself. I dont know what to do. I feel like there are two ropes pulling me in two directions and i just need advice!!!! By the way, you can't get married at the Academy, so we wouldn't be actually getting married until we are about 23/24, but i need to know what i am going to do soon so i can decide which college to go to! (also, I have always wanted to be a mom of 3 kids. being a military wife would be great in that i could always be there for my family, something that would not be an option as an officer myself.) Thanks!
jonsnuh Posted April 28, 2014 Posted April 28, 2014 Just talking from experience here OP. And I do sound bitter, so take my advice with a grain of salt. If I had a second chance, I wouldn't give away my early years to something serious. I remember when I had everything planned out in my mind. Did it come to fruition? Meet people, have fun, and most of all focus on yourself. You need to see if there are other options and preferences do change. You sound very ambitious and have a promising future ahead of you. That should be a priority so that you will not compromise it. Keep going while you still have the momentum, without having to work twice as hard if you stumble. Establish yourself, then find something serious as you get older around your 20s. If he is serious and would like you very much, he will revisit you as an option in the future if it is meant to be. You'll thank me later.
Emilia Posted April 29, 2014 Posted April 29, 2014 But everyone knows that there is a huge rivalry between Army and the Marines.... there's no way our relationship would work if i became an army officer and he a marine officer. If your relationship crumbled because of this, it wasn't much of a relationship in the first place. Sounds like a pretty immature way of viewing things to be honest. IF I follow my heart I would get married to him, and attend a civilian college, then I could live on a military base and be the wife of an officer (I would love to be a nurse on base, or maybe a psychologist!) But then I wouldn't be an officer myself. Boring! I dont know what to do. I feel like there are two ropes pulling me in two directions and i just need advice!!!! By the way, you can't get married at the Academy, so we wouldn't be actually getting married until we are about 23/24, but i need to know what i am going to do soon so i can decide which college to go to! (also, I have always wanted to be a mom of 3 kids. being a military wife would be great in that i could always be there for my family, something that would not be an option as an officer myself.) Thanks! Do NOT go down a commitment road at the age of 17 that you might regret later! Why throw your life away for something that the two of you started as kids? You are barely adults! Are you going to give up your dreams to be a housewife? Seriously? 2
Els Posted April 29, 2014 Posted April 29, 2014 17 is really not the time to be putting your career goals aside for a family. Follow your dreams. If it's meant to be, the R will survive that. 2
d0nnivain Posted April 29, 2014 Posted April 29, 2014 At 17 you can & should strive to have it all. You really don't need to get married right now or anytime soon. I'm not saying that you will break up, but many people don't have 1st loves that last forever. In the military divorce amoung young people is even more common. What I am saying is that there is no guarentee marriage is permanent. The 1st class education you will get at West Point is permanent. No matter what happens nobody can ever take that away from you but it's not something that will be available to you at 22, while marriage would be. Go to school. Continue loving your Marine but don't throw away your future because you think you are in love now. BTW fwiw, my husband is a Marine so I see the allure. 3
justwhoiam Posted April 30, 2014 Posted April 30, 2014 there is the love of my life. We have been together for years, but he is a marine (Currently deployed i Afghanistan.) This has been an ongoing long distance relationship Dear soon-to-be senior in high school, Have you ever met this guy you're talking about? The "love of your life"? Anyway, here's what I think in a nutshell: 1) I don't think being a mom of 3 children is boring. 2) A mom can still work while raising 3 children (although I only know 3 "young" moms having 3+ kids each, they all work, and just one of them recently stopped working for good, after the birth of her 3rd child). 3) I guess most officers' wives are housewives, or as you call them nowadays "stay-at-home moms". 4) Thinking about a family at 17 seems too much too soon. Last but not least, you want to go to West Point? Then apply and see if you get chosen (only 10% of candidates will be admitted). If you are admitted, well done! Stick to your goals and be proud of it.
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