andreautick Posted February 5, 2005 Posted February 5, 2005 So, I have a date with an older man today. I am 21, he is 40. He doesn't look 40, he looks like he is in his late 20's, and is very handsome. He is divorced, no kids, lives with a roommate, has a college degree (which he received 3 years ago), and a good job. He seems like a really nice guy, not creepy in the least, so that is not my concern. I have had some heady life experiences thus far, and it has played a large role in maturing me. So, I feel I am mature beyond my years. I never date guys my age, I just can't handle it. They are too immature and unfocused for me. My question to all of you is, have you ever dated an older man? What are your views on it? Is it ok, or not ok in your eyes? Have you had good or bad experiences datin older men? What is your overall opinion of the situation? Just curious, let me know, and I look forward to seeing what you all have to say! Andrea
Mr Spock Posted February 5, 2005 Posted February 5, 2005 Age does matter. Not to everyone, but to most. It's ok to date them, but don't expect a forever relationship with someone 15 years + your senior, it RARELY happens. So, have fun while you can. Eventually, those young ones will be the same age as you, while mentally you'll be 60 so it will be like dating YOUNGER men. How exciting.
Author andreautick Posted February 6, 2005 Author Posted February 6, 2005 Thanks Mr. Spock:) Those are good insights, and I can see where you are coming from. I appreciate the words of wisdom:) I went on my date with him, and we actually had a really fantastic time. He looks and seems like he's in his late 20's, and I feel like we are actually on-parr emotionally and maturity-wise. It's only one date, so who really knows what'll happen, but I was pleasantly surprised, and I don't really feel like the age will be a big issue, at least not at this point. We'll see, and thanks again for taking the time to respond! Andrea
CurvyGurl Posted February 6, 2005 Posted February 6, 2005 A spread that wide creeps me out. Either you're extremely mature for 20 or he's extremely immature. Either way, time will tell. Nic Cage, Billy Joel, and Michael Douglas are all making it work! I personally prefer older men, always have. Not TOO old.. my dad is 56 so I try not to date anyone within 10 yrs of him, but late 30's early 40's.. oh yeah! I am 30, will be 31 this year. I find that men my age are still playing around. Still looking for arm candy and trophy women and looking me up and down sneering because I am more Latifah than Halle, Kim Cowles than Tyra Banks. Men who are older know beauty is only skin deep and can appreciate a bit of curve. I also appreciate a little more maturity, someone who watches world events and someone I can converse with. Men my age like to talk about the clubs, fashion, sports, the weather... *yawn* Great luck to you!
Angel Posted February 6, 2005 Posted February 6, 2005 Now this is just my gut reaction/opinion to your question: I think that young women in their 20's should watch out for losers in their 40's. Now obviously there are exceptions, but generally these men are looking for someone they can control. They are selfish men that are interested in superficial things. But that is not why I don't think it is a good idea. At first it is exiting for the young girl to be dating an older man. He usually has more money and it is flattering as hell to get the kind of attention he is giving you----but if you are "lucky" enough to marry one-----when you are 40, he'll be 60! A woman at 40 is still young and vibrant and will want to go out and do things, and he'll want to stay at home and sleep. I have friends who have married older men--and it is nooooo fun on the other end of the continuum. I have seen 40 year old men eyeing girls in their twenties, and they usually get rejected (especially if the girl is good looking --- and they usually go after the really pretty sexy ones); these gals are smart and don't need to be used by and old man. If I would have done that in my youth, my father would have killed me------if my daughter were to do that, I'd kill her. MY OPINION ONLY
Scarlett_girl Posted February 6, 2005 Posted February 6, 2005 i almost dated a much older man once..but then found out he was married(he never told me) and ran the **** away from him! even though I was totally heads over heels for him..he was in his late 30's and I had just turned 20...
Author andreautick Posted February 6, 2005 Author Posted February 6, 2005 I can see all of that. I think it's easy to stereotype much older men. Lord knows I have been approached by much older men and turned them down, and stereotyped them as well. But I was really surprised by this guy. He is *super* active, working out and getting outdoors every single day, he is in better shape than I am, he looks very young (has all his hair, no gray hair, no wrinkles), is very genuine. I think he's just immature for his age. He lives with a 24 year old roommate and they are good friends. He doesn't drink or anything, so he's not a partier/into drugs. I was shocked though, like, if I had met him on the street, I'd say he was 28. Now, I know that I should still be cautious, and that is my nature, but I don't think he's creepy or just out to get a chick. He was just as wary about the age difference as I was. However, any thoughts on things I should look out for or anything? I value all the input you all have to offer!
Angel Posted February 6, 2005 Posted February 6, 2005 Obviously there are exceptions to every rule, but generally older men that haven't settled down is because they don't want to settle down.These guys like the status quo and don't really want to change it. Hell, they have the best of all worlds and aren't doing anything wrong, but enjoying the variety of women that love them. So if marriage is on your mind, they may talk like it is a possibility, but it is not really a goal of theirs. If you do happen to marry one, twenty years flies and they are not the older man just an old man. I say be wary of old men with candy.
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