matt_1987 Posted April 28, 2014 Posted April 28, 2014 hey everyone I am going through the BU ordeal every one of us is so familiar with here. I have been now 45 days NC after a 15 months long-distance relationship and about 9 months of some sort of on-and-off thing. apart from the random rollercoaster of feeling which I am sure you are also familiar with (I have been "ok" for like 2 straight weeks and yesterday and today it feels like I am back to square one for no obvious reason), I find myself having fantasies of reconcilation (again...), even if deep down inside I am aware that chances are close to 0, to put it mildly. what I found out is that these thoughts comfort me, while repressing them makes it worse. besides this, I have been trying to meticolously follow the NC guide (new projects, keeping busy, lots of physical activity, hooking up etc. etc.) what do you guys think? should I fight these thoughts or just roll with them? do you have any personal experience in regards to this? do they actually affect recovery time? thanks a lot!
Philosoraptor Posted April 28, 2014 Posted April 28, 2014 Let the emotions happen and let them slide off of you. You're going to have thoughts, but do not take any actions on these thoughts until you are in a clear and stable place. Both repressing and stewing in these thoughts can hurt you. You're best to accept that you may have feelings of longing, but accept that they are a part of the past that can not be changed... and march forward into the future.
d0nnivain Posted April 28, 2014 Posted April 28, 2014 Your feelings are your feelings. There is no right or wrong. they just are. Roll with them -- by that I mean acknowledge that you are experiencing them but then make a conscious choice to redirect your brain to more positive thoughts. Do not give in & contact your EX
Recommended Posts