MalachiX Posted April 28, 2014 Posted April 28, 2014 So, I've been seeing this girl for almost 4 months and I'm tempted to say "I love you," but am trying to figure out when the right time is. I'm 30 and she's 24 (I know a bit of a gap). I've only said "I love you" once in a relationship and that was about four months into a relationship that lasted about two and a half years. In that case, I'd said started to say it once by accident and then, eventually came out said it a few weeks later. For the most part, I've been trying to go slow with this girl. She's been a pleasant surprise as it wasn't "love at first sight" but rather a slow growing sense of affection as we keep finding more and more ways in which we're strangely compatible and in sync. We spent the last weekend together and it was really great. I had the really strong urge to say it after we took a long hike together but I ended up stopping myself. I had been so super affectionate all weekend (and more than a little gushing) that I didn't want to move too fast. Don't get me wrong, she's been equally affectionate and gushy but I keep finding myself wanting to move slowly and perhaps "savor" the whole dating process. It's proving so easy for us to fall into an "old couple" groove because we click so well so I really don't want to rush through all the cool stuff of building a relationship (as most of mine have been either short or unsatisfying). I've kind of been planning to tell her when we go away together for a weekend in a few weeks but now I'm wondering if waiting is a good idea. I feel like I ended up feeling closer to her than ever this last weekend. That makes me want to say it all the more but I'm also thinking it might be better to do it in a romantic setting rather than when we're both busy with work. Thoughts? Over thinking this perhaps?
todreaminblue Posted April 28, 2014 Posted April 28, 2014 Try letting it happen naturally because if you give yourself time limits and expectations you are just setting yourself up to worrying about saying it after you have said it.She may even say it first ya never know...enjoy yrou times and togetherness and your syncness...).....and dont worry about where and when to say what...say what you want to say when you want to say it you will know for sure no doubt.....best wishes....deb
acrosstheuniverse Posted April 28, 2014 Posted April 28, 2014 I'm a big believer in saying it when you feel it. If you are finding that you're holding back from saying it you clearly feel it. Do you sense she's on the verge too? For me there's usually been a mutual build up, more affection, verbal clues such as saying you adore each other and are happy you met the person. By the time the words come out it's usually obvious to both parties that it's mutual and that saying it is merely a technicality, you both already know you feel it. 3
Potion9 Posted April 28, 2014 Posted April 28, 2014 So, I've been seeing this girl for almost 4 months and I'm tempted to say "I love you," but am trying to figure out when the right time is. I'm 30 and she's 24 (I know a bit of a gap). I've only said "I love you" once in a relationship and that was about four months into a relationship that lasted about two and a half years. In that case, I'd said started to say it once by accident and then, eventually came out said it a few weeks later. For the most part, I've been trying to go slow with this girl. She's been a pleasant surprise as it wasn't "love at first sight" but rather a slow growing sense of affection as we keep finding more and more ways in which we're strangely compatible and in sync. We spent the last weekend together and it was really great. I had the really strong urge to say it after we took a long hike together but I ended up stopping myself. I had been so super affectionate all weekend (and more than a little gushing) that I didn't want to move too fast. Don't get me wrong, she's been equally affectionate and gushy but I keep finding myself wanting to move slowly and perhaps "savor" the whole dating process. It's proving so easy for us to fall into an "old couple" groove because we click so well so I really don't want to rush through all the cool stuff of building a relationship (as most of mine have been either short or unsatisfying). I've kind of been planning to tell her when we go away together for a weekend in a few weeks but now I'm wondering if waiting is a good idea. I feel like I ended up feeling closer to her than ever this last weekend. That makes me want to say it all the more but I'm also thinking it might be better to do it in a romantic setting rather than when we're both busy with work. Thoughts? Over thinking this perhaps? Over thinking. If you feel it, just say it and let her know.
Wisecrack Posted April 28, 2014 Posted April 28, 2014 DON'T say it. If in time she does, then obviously it is up to you if want to say it in return. Don't get drawn into situations where you become clingy because you feel attached. A guy is suppose to be a guy. You don't need to say it but show it instead. Furthermore remember your age differences. Stereotypically girls her age are just out to have fun while guys your age are looking to settle. Don't throw a label on it just yet until she is the one to do it and willing to commit seriously. You might even scare her.
Lani Posted April 28, 2014 Posted April 28, 2014 DON'T say it. If in time she does, then obviously it is up to you if want to say it in return. Don't get drawn into situations where you become clingy because you feel attached. A guy is suppose to be a guy. You don't need to say it but show it instead. Furthermore remember your age differences. Stereotypically girls her age are just out to have fun while guys your age are looking to settle. Don't throw a label on it just yet until she is the one to do it and willing to commit seriously. You might even scare her. Ignore this OP ^ Tell her when you feel it, because at that moment she's likely feeling it too. Don't let this become an issue for you. It's a lovely time and admitting to her that you love her is beautiful. And easy. Enjoy it!
carhill Posted April 28, 2014 Posted April 28, 2014 OP, how would you characterize your intimate communication? How long have you been having sex?
Emilia Posted April 28, 2014 Posted April 28, 2014 Thoughts? Over thinking this perhaps? Do you get moments when it goes all gushy and feel like saying something? I think that old couple thing can be avoided. Don't be too scared of getting close because of it.
d0nnivain Posted April 28, 2014 Posted April 28, 2014 You can sort of hedge your bets & say something along the lines of I think I'm falling in love with you to gage her reaction 2
Frank2thepoint Posted April 28, 2014 Posted April 28, 2014 I've kind of been planning to tell her when we go away together for a weekend in a few weeks but now I'm wondering if waiting is a good idea. I feel like I ended up feeling closer to her than ever this last weekend. That makes me want to say it all the more but I'm also thinking it might be better to do it in a romantic setting rather than when we're both busy with work. Thoughts? Over thinking this perhaps? If you are holding back to say it, then at least wait to say it until in a few weeks when you too are going away for a romantic weekend. You have until then to think it over. But once the opportunity comes, just look her in the eyes, hold her hands, and don't be scared. And don't whisper or shout either.
angel.eyes Posted April 28, 2014 Posted April 28, 2014 Say it when you feel it. That's my philosophy. It's scary before it's reciprocated, but don't hedge your bets. Weekend getaways with my boyfriend are fun and a nice change of pace. But strangely enough, the times that I've just been completely overwhelmed by my feelings for him have been when he was doing the most mundane things...asking for my help with the zipper on his jacket, rummaging through the dishes in his dishwasher to figure out if they were washed or needed to be washed because he couldn't remember if he had hit the start button earlier. I appreciate our dates and all the effort he makes, but it's during the everyday stuff, like just lying on a couch chatting that I realize how right we are together. Those are the times I feel closest to him. That's when his ILYs mean the most.
Phantom888 Posted April 28, 2014 Posted April 28, 2014 Say it when you feel it, and mean it. If you are trying to figure out what her reaction is, then that defeats the whole purpose. If you truly love someone, it doesn't matter what her reaction is, because love should be unconditional. 3
babycakees Posted April 29, 2014 Posted April 29, 2014 Like the other posters said, say it when you feel it and mean it. Don't say it just to say it. Make sure you mean it more than anything.
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