FredJones80 Posted April 27, 2014 Posted April 27, 2014 For dumpee's : Anyone secretly wish their dumper would get in touch somehow with a few breadcrumbs just so you could tell them to F- Off! or ignore them and feel like some power rebalance has been restored? Or would most of us just run back like a good elasticated ex-partner? 1
Matelow Posted April 27, 2014 Posted April 27, 2014 Dude, no breadcrumbs - this has messed me up tonight (the whole phone call thing that has happened tonight). Don't need that mate - just try and block her and carry on!
sooshi Posted April 27, 2014 Posted April 27, 2014 No, I wouldn't want them. I'd hope that if I did receive any, I would ignore them. I would post on here if I did receive any (haven't healed). If he were asking for reconciliation, he'd have to do a lot to show me he truly wants that, and we'd have to work through a lot of things first. I don't know whether or not I'd go back. I'd post on here to get other people's thoughts before doing anything so that I'm not led by my emotions alone. 2
STM206 Posted April 28, 2014 Posted April 28, 2014 It's a catch 22 in all honesty. Getting breadcrumbs (even if I decided to reply or not) would give me a small sense of "well dammit, at least he isn't as cold as I thought he was... He's thinking of me, even for a moment" Then I know my heart would flutter and I would want to hear him say he wanted me back. So yes and no...
mantlefan Posted April 28, 2014 Posted April 28, 2014 I do, sometimes, want to get a chance to tell my ex off. But then in the rare instances where we work on a project together, I start out trying to ignore her small talk as much as possible and stick to business, but after a while my resolve melts and I am at least cordial. It's messed up. Sometimes I hate her guts when I am not around her, but in the once a month or so I have to interact with her, the fact that I love her and know hurting her won't do any good makes me polite. And sometimes I feel bad for not being mean to her and showing her how much it hurts, all of her lies and manipulation. But maybe turning the other cheek is right to do even though it seems like making her hurt would be more just. It won't matter, hopefully, as I have a few leads for jobs thousands of miles from her.
disclosure Posted April 28, 2014 Posted April 28, 2014 I feel like sure, in that situation it might feel good in the moment, but that feeling will not last long and you'd just want more contact. 1
Joangel Posted April 28, 2014 Posted April 28, 2014 I would never want anything to do with an ex, but the ex's I've had all came back at some point regardless of who broke it off. I think when they see you happy living your life, it makes them feel left out. Truthfully, it does feel a little wicked good when beg for forgiveness..
oracle Posted April 28, 2014 Posted April 28, 2014 I think if people were REALLY... Like I mean REALLY honest with themselves I think a large chunk of you would want that.. Just for the satisfaction of knowing after ALL THIS CRAP.. you are still in their mind. I think most fear the dilema that it would possibly create - at the minimum level, just bringing them back into focus for you - at the most, how/what/if etc. you should do about it. We never really truly know how we will handle a situation or scenario... until its actually playing out for us live. For dumpee's : Anyone secretly wish their dumper would get in touch somehow with a few breadcrumbs just so you could tell them to F- Off! or ignore them and feel like some power rebalance has been restored? Or would most of us just run back like a good elasticated ex-partner? 3
SCJACK Posted April 28, 2014 Posted April 28, 2014 I'll be honest, I wish I got breadcrumbs... yeah maybe it'll feel good at first and then I'll be thinking about her after but the thought of her never contacting me again makes me feel like crap like she doesn't care at all. At least if I did get breadcrumbs I know she's at least thinking of me and making some sort of effort to reach out to me. 1
arrcee1138 Posted April 28, 2014 Posted April 28, 2014 I think everyone here wants that. I blocked her phone number to keep me from thinking about it. It was my birthday last week and I don't know if she ever did send me anything. Her family did though I said my thanks and I blocked them too.
witmadskilllz Posted April 28, 2014 Posted April 28, 2014 hmm, I see this in a different light because I would find it f!@king offensive as hell if I were to receive any bread-crumb related bullcrap(which I actually did, just a text with her name). I get the impression that I am just a backup, nothing more. If you truly did care for your ex as a dumper, you would set them free and try to minimize any more pain that the dumper have already caused and not contact the ex. Would it not make sense that we(dumpee's) are trying to move on therefore we stick to no contact and we don't want to become 'friends' after, ignoring, deleting contacts, not texting/calling any more.. ?? Dumpers, please do us a favor, you have your friends and family or rebound for support. Leave us the fu.k alone, we have our own life to take care of.
SCJACK Posted April 28, 2014 Posted April 28, 2014 hmm, I see this in a different light because I would find it f!@king offensive as hell if I were to receive any bread-crumb related bullcrap(which I actually did, just a text with her name). I get the impression that I am just a backup, nothing more. If you truly did care for your ex as a dumper, you would set them free and try to minimize any more pain that the dumper have already caused and not contact the ex. Would it not make sense that we(dumpee's) are trying to move on therefore we stick to no contact and we don't want to become 'friends' after, ignoring, deleting contacts, not texting/calling any more.. ?? Dumpers, please do us a favor, you have your friends and family or rebound for support. Leave us the fu.k alone, we have our own life to take care of. I definitely get what you're saying here as well.. once I got a breadcrumb and I was mad and upset and wanted her to leave me alone. But then again deep down there was a small feeling of happiness that I actually got a breadcrumb.. it's double sided. It's a hate love thing....
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