AnchorGurl Posted April 27, 2014 Posted April 27, 2014 About 4 years ago my Best Friend betrayed me. She is a wonderful person. I had a feeling my boyfriend was cheating on me but was too scared to find out. He had left his facebook open and I was able to see his password. I was trying not to snoop but there were many red flags. I found his password and confided in her that I was too scared to check myself but for her to check and please just tell me one way or another if he was cheating or not. She checked and told me everything was fine. I found out 6 months later that she lied to me. I found out on my own that he was cheating and only then did she admit that she HAD found out he was cheating but could not tell me because she did not want to hurt me. I have held onto her betrayal for many years and not confronted her on it. Is it too late now to tell her she really hurt me? She caused me months of pain I could have avoided had she been honest with me.
ja123 Posted April 27, 2014 Posted April 27, 2014 Sorry this happened to you. Do you know if she was the woman your boyfriend was cheating with? It's never to late to tell someone how you feel.
Author AnchorGurl Posted April 27, 2014 Author Posted April 27, 2014 Hello! No it for sure was not her. Some other girl who he was talking to on the internet. I saw her picture and know it was not her. I am over it now and much happier but I still wonder why she never told me?
ja123 Posted April 27, 2014 Posted April 27, 2014 You should ask her to find out why she didn't tell you, as you requested her help. It's very strange. I don't know if I could get over something like that. I would certainly downgrade the friendship.
whichwayisup Posted April 28, 2014 Posted April 28, 2014 About 4 years ago my Best Friend betrayed me. She is a wonderful person. I had a feeling my boyfriend was cheating on me but was too scared to find out. He had left his facebook open and I was able to see his password. I was trying not to snoop but there were many red flags. I found his password and confided in her that I was too scared to check myself but for her to check and please just tell me one way or another if he was cheating or not. She checked and told me everything was fine. I found out 6 months later that she lied to me. I found out on my own that he was cheating and only then did she admit that she HAD found out he was cheating but could not tell me because she did not want to hurt me. I have held onto her betrayal for many years and not confronted her on it. Is it too late now to tell her she really hurt me? She caused me months of pain I could have avoided had she been honest with me. Why did you not confront her about this four years ago? Continuing to have a friendship with her and go on like everything is fine is actually on you. She had your best interest at heart, so it seems and she was scared to tell you the truth. Either forgive her and let this go (even more so since you and him are not together anymore) or forgive her anyway in your heart (don't hang onto anger, aim for peace and indifference) and let go of the friendship. You seem to put A LOT of blame on her. You were the one who put this on her, you chose NOT to look at it and really this was YOUR relationship, your boyfriend to confront and you chose to involve her. This is not her fault, his cheating ways. You must have had suspicions too, yet you chose to ignore and hide, put it on her to tell you.
Author AnchorGurl Posted April 28, 2014 Author Posted April 28, 2014 I agree. I should have confronted her a long time ago. I also should have checked myself and not put it on her. She didn't want to see me hurt and didn't say anything. It's only a year later that she told me she knew the whole time and didn't want to tell me. I have forgiven her but in my heart when I think about it occasionally I do get upset all over again. I just wonder if it makes any sense at all to still bring it up and air it all out or just move forward.
whichwayisup Posted April 28, 2014 Posted April 28, 2014 I agree. I should have confronted her a long time ago. I also should have checked myself and not put it on her. She didn't want to see me hurt and didn't say anything. It's only a year later that she told me she knew the whole time and didn't want to tell me. I have forgiven her but in my heart when I think about it occasionally I do get upset all over again. I just wonder if it makes any sense at all to still bring it up and air it all out or just move forward. Are you still with the cheating guy? If he is no longer in your life then let it go! My god you're holding a grudge against her and she is not the one who cheated on you! HE did. Your boyfriend. Though I hope he is now your ex boyfriend. Let it go. Her intention and heart were in the right place - And you do see you put her in a tough spot by asking her to check up on him, that is something you should have done since it was your relationship and your boyfriend cheating on you. If you can't get past this, then end your friendship with her. And, tell her why, then walk away.
VeronicaRoss Posted April 29, 2014 Posted April 29, 2014 She was trying to protect you. That was as misguided and silly as you asking her to look for you. If you're going to snoop, you snoop. Silly person, call your friend and thank her for wanting you to be happy and go and do something together.
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