wastedsea Posted April 27, 2014 Posted April 27, 2014 I'm going to try to make this short. I was in a long distance relationship for over a year. We did meet a few times. We were friends first and we decided to try it. He started to be distant from me (he said he was busy) and of course, I pulled closer to him in fear I would lose him. He stopped skyping me and we stopped talking our normal 6-7 times a day. I was ok with that, but I wanted to skype and he always had an excuse. I think we pushed eachother too much and we started fighting. A lot. I told him several times I needed more from him, but he would just get mad and tell me I sound like a broken record. The last time we talked, I asked him to call me so we could try to come to an agreement. I told him again I needed more from him (skyping and phone calls) or I would have to end the relationship because it was making me unhappy. He got angry and told me "I told you I have been busy and you can't accept how things are, then do what you want." Then he said if you want to disappear then do it. I was hurt because I dont want that at all, I just wanted a compromise. He said he would call me later if he could and then he said bye and hung up. We still havent talked. He normally calls me every morning on his way to work and nothing! I was hurt and never texted him either. I'm on day 10 of no contact and i'm confused on what to do! He hasn't texted or called me either. I know I'm not supposed to contact him, but since I ended things should I even be doing this?? We were so great together before things got crazy. We even planned on getting a place together. I hate playing games and I miss him but he became rude the last month we were together. I have cried most days and its getting harder. I know I messed up by getting to clingy, but he was starting to be mean to me. Even when I called on his breaks at work when he answered he would say "what?!". I know guys hate clingy chicks so I know I did my part to screw it up, but I don't want this!! Does NC rule apply if neither has tried to contact? Any advice please!
Brett Favre Posted April 28, 2014 Posted April 28, 2014 Hello, It sounds as if you are very codependent. I suggest keeping up the NC. This man has probably moved on. Maybe you could see a counselor to correct your clinginess. I wish you the best. 1
Author wastedsea Posted April 29, 2014 Author Posted April 29, 2014 I was on Day 11 NC and he texted this morning. I am not fully over the situation so I failed and responded. We texted off and on all day and I told him I needed time to think about things. He said well why, I texted you so you know I care. I told him I felt that he was rude in the past and we needed to work on things. Then, he calls and is angry! Said that I shouldn't have blamed him for the break up (which I didnt) I said it was us both. And he said you know, you have just demolished this entire relationship. It wont ever be fixed. I am devastated. I mean, why?! I am so hurt bc I thought he was trying to work things out. He even said he missed me, then he flipped. I texted him and asked why he is acting this way and he responded with " you did this, im going to bed, leave me alone" Not only did I fail and break no contact, now I feel stupid. This is awful Why would he do that to me??
Mr.Pine Posted April 29, 2014 Posted April 29, 2014 Why would he do that to me?? Because he's an immature, insecure, self-esteemless douche-nozzle. This is why, especially after less than a fortnight, you never, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever break NC. For any reason. Ever. You'll get it. I have faith. 1
KaliLove Posted April 29, 2014 Posted April 29, 2014 Bleh, what a spoiled selfish brat! You didn't do anything wrong. He's being a prick. He sounds supremely immature and rude. 1
Lani Posted April 29, 2014 Posted April 29, 2014 Urgh... guy sounds like an ass. Yes you broke NC, but can you see yourself doing that again now? You went 11 days last time, and he broke it. You'll get further this time and it'll feel better... you'll see! 1
abrachia Posted April 29, 2014 Posted April 29, 2014 I think that maybe he was just seeing if you'd still be in contact with him after 11 days. And when you were, he wanted to display some stupid manipulative dominance. It happened to me. He's a loser. 1
Author wastedsea Posted April 29, 2014 Author Posted April 29, 2014 I actually was thinking that too! At first I thought he missed me, but after that I thought maybe he was seeing if I still cared. Either way, I did leanr why you guys say never respond! I learned the hard way because it does feel awful, especially when it's a game to them. Started today over AGAIN, and I won't be responding again. I won't forget this feeling Thank you all for replying. I really needed the encouragement!! 1
Summerrose2013 Posted April 29, 2014 Posted April 29, 2014 I see some similarities with your breakup to mine. I read books saying 'dont be clingy, it scares them off' but I'm a slave to my feelings, I'm only human with needs and insecurities and if a man loved me, wouldn;t he just reassure me, rather than pushing me away? Youve done better than me, I've only got to day 4 of nc so far, but I'm in a different frame of mind this time. Your relationship does sound intense, BUT they do say to keep in constant contact for a LD relationship. But in my experience, one of you is always putting more effort into it. I think it sounds like you both need a break, maybe you should reduce contact - I'm a big believer in NC where necessary, but if you are trying to mutually work out a relationship, it's not appropriate. You just need to be sure that its' what you BOTH want.
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