mtnbiker3000 Posted May 1, 2014 Share Posted May 1, 2014 This issue is much more complicated than it is being described here. Many, many variables at play... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
mtnbiker3000 Posted May 1, 2014 Share Posted May 1, 2014 I'm not afraid to say I need a man to be truly happy. Has to be the right guy. Holding hands when walking with the man I love is the most blissful feeling in the world....better than sex, Christmas morning, ice cream or any time spent with girlfriends. I thrive on very simple acts of affection. I'm no psychologist, but this screams of codependency and low self esteem... So, you find a great guy. Makes you happy as can be. Everything is awesome. You're awesome with him (as you describe). What happens when he's unhappy or decides to leave the RS for whatever reason?? Link to post Share on other sites
mtnbiker3000 Posted May 1, 2014 Share Posted May 1, 2014 (edited) Huh? You plan your breakup beforehand? Quite the optimist...not. You must be a bundle of fun at parties. Nope. But I try to find happiness from within so that no one can take it from me when the RS ends. Remember, nothing is forever. And I am assuming you know that very well as you are here on LS... Also, people can sense when you are codependent on them. Nothing will kill a RS faster!! But I guess your way works well for you, right?? Edited May 1, 2014 by mtnbiker3000 Link to post Share on other sites
True Gent Posted May 1, 2014 Share Posted May 1, 2014 I'm no psychologist, but this screams of codependency and low self esteem... So, you find a great guy. Makes you happy as can be. Everything is awesome. You're awesome with him (as you describe). What happens when he's unhappy or decides to leave the RS for whatever reason?? I'm not sure I agree with you... I would think that nothing really is better than holding hands/spending time with the one you love. That's the joy of being in love is it not? If someone doesn't mean enough to you that if the RS did end that you can just shrug it off and say "oh well I didn't need them anyway" then that's not really love. The pain of loosing someone if/when it ends is because they meant something to you. It's part and parcel of love and life to feel the pain of a RS that has died. That doesn't mean you shouldn't feel like you have to keep people at a distance to avoid being hurt or to prove you aren't co dependant. Feeling like the other person is your other half and completes your life doesn't mean you can't live without them or you're co dependant. It means that them being in your life is a whole lot better than if they weren't. That's why you love them. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
mtnbiker3000 Posted May 1, 2014 Share Posted May 1, 2014 (edited) I'm not afraid to say I need a man to be truly happy. Spin it anyway you want. This statement is flawed and will lead to pain and, again, indicates issues which should be addressed. I'm not sayin' I'm perfect. I have similar issues. Many of us do. But this is not the right thought process... Edited May 1, 2014 by mtnbiker3000 1 Link to post Share on other sites
love1336x Posted May 2, 2014 Share Posted May 2, 2014 I enjoy both. I like being single. I like being in a non dramatic relationship as well. When you are single you don't have to really worry about anyone else but you... People take this for granted always being consumed what they lover is doing or isn't doing, and simply forgetting who they are. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Jingle14 Posted May 4, 2014 Share Posted May 4, 2014 (edited) I was dumped by the supposed 'love of my life' almost 3 years ago, utterly convinced it was all my doing, all my fault. I now look back and realise he was just a nasty little piece of work. He turned my life upside down - and he really did - and walked away leaving me with the consequences. From being a really tough, independent, person who was often described as unapproachable and intimidating to being an utter wreck. I lost my relationship with my young son (he was 10 then) and went through absolute horror that saw me driven to a breakdown. I saw no point in anything then and wanted to opt out of life. Somehow, I got a grip and forced myself to find local groups who I could do things with at weekend. Very, very slowly, I rebuilt my relationship with my son. He is now back living with me, where he belongs and we couldn't be closer, he is my life and main focus. I developed a love of holidaying on my own, it's the ultimate liberator, and I relish the freedom - in fact, I'm going camping next week and will have a ball in my favourite part of the country. I've been there so often that I feel completely at home there and have gotten to know locals, it's a very welcoming place and I've made very special memories there, from being there on my own and also with my son. I look back and am incredulous that one human can cause such pain on another, to be so callous and cold and I wouldn't ever want that again. Thankfully, I learnt from my experience and am a much calmer, more patient, considerate and compassionate person and I lead by example with my son. It would take an exceptional person to persuade me from being single. For all the incredibly happy and loving times I had with my ex (and there were very many blissful times) the only man I've ever truly been in love with - the lows simply weren't worth it. I'm happier on my own. I certainly don't want the stress and hassle of checking my phone and analysing why they haven't texted or whatever! Edited May 4, 2014 by Jingle14 Link to post Share on other sites
Esoteric Elf Posted May 4, 2014 Share Posted May 4, 2014 Being intermittently single can be liberating, refreshing and a time to reflect on what you have and be thankful for you yourself. Being involuntarily, perpetually single is terminally damaging to your well-being and can retard growth and advancement in any and all areas of life. Link to post Share on other sites
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