UCFKevin Posted February 5, 2005 Posted February 5, 2005 So there's this chick at work who likes me. Or liked me. I dunno. We made plans to go out Tuesday night, on Sunday. We talked a few times on Sunday and a few times on Monday. Tuesday I called her to see when she wanted to meet up. Didn't hear from her. Wednesday? Nothing. Thursday we work together and she doesn't mention a thing, just acts like nothing's wrong, but in that "I know I f*cked up and I'm going to keep my distance." Since she owed me the explanation, I decided to hell with it and wouldn't talk to her outside of passing "hi's." Even then they were limited. It was obvious I was pretty...I dunno, pissed isn't the right word, but regardless. Today as I was leaving, I broke down and just asked, "So what happened Tuesday?" She gives me this. "Oh, I was busy with school stuff." "Oh. Okay. You couldn't call me?" "Well, no. I was at school for a long time and I don't take my phone with me to school." "What about after? Or yesterday? Just a simple call would've been nice." "Oh, my mom took my phone away from me, I don't have any minutes left." "Well, that sucks." "Why didn't you ask me about this yesterday?" "I was waiting for you to talk to me about it but since you didn't, I figured I might as well do it." "You know everyone thinks you're immature for not talking to me?" "What? Who?" "Everyone here." "I don't give a f*ck what anyone here thinks about me." That's the jist of it, more of less. No apology. No, "I'm sorry I stood you up." Nothing. She made it seem like *I* was the bad guy in this somehow. And immature! Yes! I'm the immature one, even though she flaked out and went around telling people about me not talking to her at work. Classy. How f*cking RIDICULOUS is that? Ugh. It was a blessing in disguise, now I know how stupid and immature this chick is and made me realize that I really don't need to be dating anyone I work with. Feh.
Midwest guy Posted February 5, 2005 Posted February 5, 2005 Sounds so much like my situation I have with a cute chick at work. Except shes 2 hours away at school right now so I wont see her till the summer if she comesback to work although I talked to her on the phone twice recenetly and told her we should hang out when she comes to town for a weekend. Anyways if your in HS I wouldnt worry about it all that much. I know I worry about mine alot but Im going to be 22 this year and need a gf lol. Might want to read my thread. its so similar to yours. She sounded interested, sweet to me at first then acted liek she was trying to blow me off. I know how you feel though. Having to go into work everyday facing a pretty girl who rejects you. It's tuff. Maybe even transefer to a diff store. I know if Lindsay comesback in the summer and lets say I ask her out and I have problems with her or she complains I might trasnfer also. A change of sceneroy makes good sometimes cause I know I would not want to work around her if I like her and have a crush on her cause it would tear me up inside and Id not want to get into a big argument at work and get fired. http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t55295/
JoL Posted February 5, 2005 Posted February 5, 2005 Kevin, be glad you found out she was immature and silly before dating her! Not apologising when doing something wrong or hurtful is a true sign of immaturity and insecurity. More fish in the sea!
dyermaker Posted February 5, 2005 Posted February 5, 2005 I wouldn't give it a second thought. You're rubber, she's glue.
kit4kat Posted February 5, 2005 Posted February 5, 2005 It is a blessing in disguise. Consider yourself lucky. For her to be going around and telling people about your situation is lame. Its no ones business but yours and hers. Have faith and keep on looking, the right girl for you is out there.
Merin Posted February 5, 2005 Posted February 5, 2005 Originally posted by UCFKevin "Oh, my mom took my phone away from me, I don't have any minutes left." What? Her MOM took her phone away from her?! Uh.. enough said. Neeeeexxxxtttttt!
masked_man Posted February 5, 2005 Posted February 5, 2005 It is a blessing in disguise. Well put. I was in a similar situation two or so years ago. It was happening (or so I thought) with a girl (she's a duty manager at my local supermarket), so I asked her out. She said yes. Then she stood me up. Said nothing more about it. Being a regular customer at the supermarket meant it was a matter of time before we "met" again. Sure enough we did, and she basically acted as if nothing had happened, no wrong had occurred. And ignored me, while giving me the foulest looks imaginable. That was it was for me. Not her though. A few months later she started playing friendly again. I kept my distance. She started giving me more foul looks. I ignored it. She then started looking as if she was about to burst into tears. I kept well away. All she had to do was apologise. But she wouldn't. That went on for 18 months - even when she had other very short lived boy friends! Even now, two years later, she still gives me wistful and hurt looks. As I say, all she had to do was apologise. I'm well sick of it now, but sadly there is no other nearby supermarket, so I grin and bear it. BTW this woman is 30 odd, and not at high school or college. Very disturbing. So yes, consider it a blessing in disguise.
moimeme Posted February 5, 2005 Posted February 5, 2005 Aren't you a tad old to be dating girls so young their moms take their phones away from them???
alphamale Posted February 5, 2005 Posted February 5, 2005 you made two critical mistakes here UCFKevin: 1) trying to date someone you work with 2) letting her know it got to you that she stood u up. you should have said NOTHING cause that is what a dude who is confident and secure would have done. so what is some broad blows you off, there are a million others. That is the attitude you need here. your chance with her now are zero, nada, nuthin'
blue17 Posted February 5, 2005 Posted February 5, 2005 Ya, I was thinking the same thing... I thought u had it goin great by not even mentioning anything about it to her for a few days. If you had gone on a couple more days without bringing it up, she probably would've got all hot and bothered and who knows what woulda happened.
Barby Posted February 5, 2005 Posted February 5, 2005 your chance with her now are zero, nada, nuthin' Ummmm.....why in the world would he want to date her now anyway? She's obviously the IMMATURE one who's going around talking about their personal business at work...I'd hope he's got more self respect that to ever want anything to do with her again.
Midwest guy Posted February 5, 2005 Posted February 5, 2005 Originally posted by alphamale you made two critical mistakes here UCFKevin: 1) trying to date someone you work with 2) letting her know it got to you that she stood u up. you should have said NOTHING cause that is what a dude who is confident and secure would have done. so what is some broad blows you off, there are a million others. That is the attitude you need here. your chance with her now are zero, nada, nuthin' Same thing happend with me. I mean her friend told Lindsay that she should date me cause Im a nice guy, but she said shes not in the dating world right now. Why didnt Lin just tell me she wasnt dating?
Mr Spock Posted February 5, 2005 Posted February 5, 2005 For all my humping faults one thing I am blessed with is mostly ugly co workers. I think I'm incapable of feeling attraction to those I work with.....
johan Posted February 5, 2005 Posted February 5, 2005 2) letting her know it got to you that she stood u up. you should have said NOTHING cause that is what a dude who is confident and secure would have done. so what is some broad blows you off, there are a million others. That is the attitude you need here. your chance with her now are zero, nada, nuthin' I'd have let her know it bothered me, if it did. I think you should be able to say that to anyone any time. No reason to hide it. Doing that keeps me happy. It's 50/50 for me whether I would have been upset about it, because it's rude and you set aside your time to be with her. But that's the only part of it worth caring about. You asked her out and that was a boost for her ego. If you don't let it get to you much and make it clear that "having a chance" with her was never that important to you, and you don't really invest in rude people, that will be hard on her ego. She might start sending little positive signals your way again, trying to get you to be interested again and make her ego feel better. I hope you don't take that bait.
Fritz Posted February 5, 2005 Posted February 5, 2005 Originally posted by Merin What? Her MOM took her phone away from her?! Uh.. enough said. Neeeeexxxxtttttt! Yeah, that caught my eye too. Eh, whiskey tango foxtrot, over..? This gal wanted an ego stroke it sounds like and got it. As others said, be glad you found out now about her selfish attitudes. Also, I'll just toss out a ol' favorite adage: Don't fish off the company pier..don't dip yer pen in company ink.. etc. etc..
Author UCFKevin Posted February 6, 2005 Author Posted February 6, 2005 I thought u had it goin great by not even mentioning anything about it to her for a few days. If you had gone on a couple more days without bringing it up, she probably would've got all hot and bothered and who knows what woulda happened. That's game playing. I don't play games. I don't follow the standard BS dating rules. I have absolutely no interest in this chick now, why the hell would I care if my chances are gone? And get this, I heard that she's been telling people that she DID call me that night we were supposed to get together to tell me she couldn't make it and that I freaked out on her. So now she's making up stuff. Fabulous! Definitely a blessing in disguise, that's what I've been thinking all along. But this little ridiculous Dawson's Creek episode definitely made me realize that I don't need to be dating ANYONE at work, so screw it.
ziggue Posted February 6, 2005 Posted February 6, 2005 Originally posted by UCFKevin "Oh, my mom took my phone away from me, I don't have any minutes left." How old is she again? Lol. Don't go out with people who play games with you. It just messes with your head.
Author UCFKevin Posted February 6, 2005 Author Posted February 6, 2005 19. I oughta date older chicks from now on.
alphamale Posted February 6, 2005 Posted February 6, 2005 Originally posted by UCFKevin That's game playing. I don't play games. I don't follow the standard BS dating rules. my suggestion, UCFKEVIN, is that you start playing the games or learn how to play them. othervise there will be many date-less saturday nites in your future. most women know how to play games and usually they excel at them. if you don't play the game you ALWAYS lose by default. what happend here was she was playing da game and you were not. so you lost. oh yeah, and one more word of advice....women generally will not fess up to playing games but they are sooooo good at it. must be all the soaps they watch.
dyermaker Posted February 6, 2005 Posted February 6, 2005 what happend here was she was playing da game and you were not. so you lost. It doesn't sound like a loss to me. Hang in there, superman.
alphamale Posted February 6, 2005 Posted February 6, 2005 Originally posted by dyermaker It doesn't sound like a loss to me. it is a loss cause she got the best of him. in addition, now UCFKevin will be interested in her even MORE cause she blew him off. it is hard to get away from human nature, you know....wanting what u cannot have.
Fritz Posted February 6, 2005 Posted February 6, 2005 Originally posted by alphamale it is a loss cause she got the best of him. in addition, now UCFKevin will be interested in her even MORE cause she blew him off. it is hard to get away from human nature, you know....wanting what u cannot have. Somehow, I doubt he'll be all that interested in her given his posts. He may have lost a "battle" that involved juevenile tactics but he's not lost the relationship war. /ok that was just corny
Mr Spock Posted February 6, 2005 Posted February 6, 2005 I dunno, perhaps it was just someone who didn't want to go out on a date and was just too imature to think of a way to express that other than standing poor UFCKev up? Realizing how poorly they acted, began to try and spin things in their favour at work. Acting like it's no big deal and not making any extra effort to chit chat BUT at the same time not being rude is the best way to go, IMHO. She's the kind of girl that will stop dating a guy simply because her friends don't find him attractive....
WalkingTall Posted February 6, 2005 Posted February 6, 2005 Never dip your pen in company ink.... (more corn anyone?)
Author UCFKevin Posted February 6, 2005 Author Posted February 6, 2005 Mr. Spock, that's what I'm doing, basically. Alphamale, you're acting like this is something devastating to my social life. I couldn't care less about this chick at this point, it's her loss, not mine. She's an immature moron, I want nothing to do with her. Why the hell would I want her more? I'm damn near 25, I'm beyond that kinda crap. If I lost, oh well. But I won in the end because I ain't dating someone stupid.
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