PhillyConnection23 Posted April 27, 2014 Posted April 27, 2014 Its been exactly one month since my Ex GF broke up with me. I've basically done what any rational adult will do in this case and back away, give her space and try to move on with my life. So today I decided: "well ok, its been a few weeks since you talked to 'her.' Let's see if you can meet someone else." Well I did. The date was crazy and made me realize how much I still miss my ex. This doesn't mean I'm going to start blowing up my ex's phone but it has made me realize how much I hate dating and it is scaring the hell out of me that I will not find someone like her again. My ex had so many qualities that I look for in a partner and most of them manifested themselves in the first date. The thought of having to go on several more dates in order to find "the one" just makes me re-examine the entire premise of dating. Anyway, tonight's exercise (which I'll continue) showed me that I struck gold with my ex. Unfortunately she thought there was a better vein to mine somewhere else. 1
dwerli Posted April 27, 2014 Posted April 27, 2014 I had a date Friday and thought the EXACT same thing. Dating blows!
hudson701 Posted April 27, 2014 Posted April 27, 2014 Same here- just had to stop a recent 3 week fling as I was constantly comparing the new girl to my ex. It's horrible isn't it? No one I date seems to measure up to the ex. She hates me. Made me realise I'm no where near ready for dating yet. It's unfair to compare the new person to your ex, it basically means your not healed. Everyone deserves to be assessed on their own individual qualities and merits. Lots of time on this one.
True Gent Posted April 27, 2014 Posted April 27, 2014 At one month post breakup if you're the dumpee dating is just is proving to yourself that you still appeal to the opposite sex to some extent. Just take it as practice, because after being with one person for a long time it can take a little getting used to actually talking to women with the underlying potential of possibly perusing them on a more than platonic level. Just one month in means you are still very much hung up on your ex and you probably still have them on a pedestal to some extent. Give it another 4 or 5 months and you may be thinking/feeling differently. Keep at it though... The experience is a good thing.
d0nnivain Posted April 27, 2014 Posted April 27, 2014 Part of it is that you aren't ready to date yet. You are still comparing everyone to your EX because you aren't fully healed. Although CW says the fastest way to get over someone is to get under someone else, that doesn't always work & can leave you more frustrated. Give it a bit more time but meanwhile stay active in other ways. 1
Joangel Posted April 27, 2014 Posted April 27, 2014 I agree dating is absolutely horrible. Personally, I gave up on actively dating. Now, I just waiting for serendipity at this point. As for your ex, I was the same way after my last brake up. In time I got over it. I started to realize I was thinking the grass was greener with him. Then I would remind myself the bad parts about the relationship not just the good. After a while I began to feel relief, I dodged a bullet. If we were to end up together I think I would eventually be miserable. Ask yourself if what you really miss is the comfort and security. As for dating...it's tough as nails out here. Good luck with that.
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