Speaking of older men...how do I know if he is interested?

[Joangel]

I have a neighbor who moved in over two years ago after his divorced. Since then I too have divorced. Anyway, he is a very accomplished successful man and I find that intimidating. On a few occasions I think he has flirted with me but I can't really tell if he is serious. The only sure sign I have is he has hugged me a few times durning holidays. He is older than me (about 50, I am 34) so I don't know if that's why he won't make a move. One day he invited me over for a drink, I was busy so said I would take a rain check and I really don't drink. Later I though he must have taken that as me brushing him off, but I was truly busy at the time. He is always pleasant to my kids and stops to chat whenever he sees me. Any tell tale sights that he could be interested and not just neighborly?

[carhill]

Take your rain check. See where it goes.

[Joangel]

Thanks, I guess just have to work up the nerve. Like I said I find him intimidating.

[carhill]

He asked you over for a drink and you took a rain check. He interacts with your children and is always pleasant to you. What about that is intimidating? Sounds like he's easy to be with. Try it. His asking you over for a drink and he continued interaction are showing his interest.

[Joangel]

Meant, I find him intimidating because he is very successful. If he was a Plummer etc.. I wouldn't have this issue. Part of me feels he could just want a fling because I am not at all on his level. Or maybe he really is just that friendly. I guess what I am asking is, are there any definite signs that a man likes you? What should I look for? Kind of new to this dating thing. I was married for twelve years. I don't know what's what.

[RedRobin]

Try not to be overly influenced by his job. It doesn't tend to affect what they are looking for. At all.

 

If you are concerned about his intentions, I would not agree to go to his place for a drink.

 

That is usually an invitation to hookup. Not a date.

 

If he wants to get to know you better, ask him to meet you at a neutral place. Not his place or yours.

 

... And I wanted to respond to a comment you made in the other thread about younger guys just wanting to hook up.... Older guys do too... They just learned when they were younger that this approach is not terribly effective, and so have learned to be a bit smoother.

 

Sounds like this guy is a little smoother. If you want something casual, then go ahead over to his place. If you are looking for a relationship and not a fling, then don't. Just because he is successful, doesn't mean he doesn't still have to treat you with some respect. Even if all he is after is a fling.