dwerli Posted April 27, 2014 Posted April 27, 2014 I should not let this twist my head in knots, but it is. It was a very short relationship (thread posted over in break ups), but this girl got under my skin. We went from going strong to broken up over two days, maybe one. No fights, etc. the reason for the breakup was two reasons: (1) the stress of us working together was too much for my ex and she did not want to go public on such a new relationship; and (2) we were not sure how much time we could ever spend together because we were going to wait months before introducing our kids to each other (She has one and I have two, which meant that when either of us head our kids, no spending time together. We broke up almost 2 weeks ago and I went immediately no contact (to the extent possible working together). Then last Wednesday she sends me an email that she is bringing her daughter to work on Thursday (for bring-your-daughter-to-work day) and wanted to see if she could introduce us. I broke NC to say "I would enjoy that. Thanks for asking." AND THEN SHE DID IT. Thursday she introduces us. Originally, I thought it was because she was all of the kids were going to get introduced all around the office and it would have looked odd to leave me out, but that was not it. She did not introduce her to many other people around me in the office. NOW I cannot figure out the why. Why? What purpose did this serve? Ease her guilt? And excuse to make me break no contact again (but why that?)? And why do this after we had talked only a WEEK earlier about not introducing our kids for months?????? Any thoughts/insight especially from MOTHERS are appreciated. P.S., I now think it was more than a little cruel to do this.
aussietigerwolf Posted April 27, 2014 Posted April 27, 2014 Ask her... I could think of a million reasons ranging from nice to nasty for why she did it but I don't know. I probably would have done it if that was the only thing keeping us apart though. 1
Author dwerli Posted April 27, 2014 Author Posted April 27, 2014 Ask her... I could think of a million reasons ranging from nice to nasty for why she did it but I don't know. I probably would have done it if that was the only thing keeping us apart though. I appreciate the thought and believe me ...part of me is dying to ask her. I even have thought about ways to do it,... BUT it seems like a really bad idea to ask. What answer can she say to me honestly. I am guessing what she would respond is..." I don't know. I just really wanted you two to know each other." and that is going to leave me as confused as ever. Of course, the answer I am dying to hear is...."Well, I figured this was a way to test those waters again and see how the two of you got along. Now that that stress of an initial introduction is over we can get back together because we can figure out the work situation" But that stays in my pipe dream. And the advantage of NC is that I can think that without all of the evidence to the contrary. The problem is I just cannot figure out the other reasons. Why make the effort?
redbaron005 Posted April 27, 2014 Posted April 27, 2014 Curious, how did you get along with her daughter? Did you bring your two kids?
Author dwerli Posted April 27, 2014 Author Posted April 27, 2014 Curious, how did you get along with her daughter? Did you bring your two kids? Really well. It still was not the longest interaction in the world, but her daughter is a real sweetheart and kids like me. I am a great guy. hahaha. But that is what made me start to think it was a little cruel. Of course, she has a sweet kid and then what I think later is....well, it would have been nice to have been a part of her life too.....another thing to add to what I am missing. I did NOT bring my kids. Not only were there problems of logistics with my kids, but I was very aware of this dynamic.
aussietigerwolf Posted April 27, 2014 Posted April 27, 2014 well if you're not going to ask then it will just drive you nuts.
Author dwerli Posted April 28, 2014 Author Posted April 28, 2014 Well, and even having asked, it did me no good. I did write a short email today (officially breaking NC for myself) asking just directly why. She responded this evening with some nonsense "breadcrumby" reply. Here it is in its entirety: "She was meeting you as someone I work with. I was more relaxed and happy to have the two of you meet. She had no idea and she was excited to meet everyone. She did think you were especially nice and she liked your office. I hope that was okay with you.I didn't mean to be insensitive or anything like that. I know you said you didn't want to speak or see each other much but I truly dislike it. I hope you are doing well." I cannot say that I feel worse, but I certainly do not feel better. Just a waste.
aussietigerwolf Posted April 29, 2014 Posted April 29, 2014 sounds like she was testing the waters to see if her kid liked you without any pressure. doesn't sound breadcrumbs to me as you were the one that wanted nc as much as possible in an office. I certainly wouldn't pour my heart out to someone who had said they didn't want to see or hear from me again regardless of being asked a question by them.
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