Sebby12 Posted April 26, 2014 Posted April 26, 2014 I've been with my partner for 3yrs on and off. We live 10 mins drive from each other. I broke the relationship off last week due to this Nagging feeling it's just not going anywhere. He has made it clear he doesn't want to live together anytime soon and I think this is due to financial issues as he likes to be very separate and in control of his money possibly for his first love in life- gambling. He's an old 40yr old very set in his ways (I'm 33)and he has only been in one long term relationship that ended in his mid 20's after they lived together . He kept himself very separate in that relationship too. Even down to cooking his own dinner. He would say " I don't expect anyone to do things for me" I think that was so he didn't have to put anything back into the relationship. I get the same thing whenever I try and do anything for him. We get on very well and he says he loves me and my 2 children but this business of us not living together has driven us apart. He stays over but won't commit to more which leaves me feeling hurt and rejected. It's also an insult that I'm good enough for sleepovers and the odd night out even a couple of holidays but not quite good enough to live with( that's how I feel) After 3yrs I feel like we should be at a point where we should be living together as a partnership. So I ended things on that basis. I'm not sure if I've done the right thing. He says he doesn't understand why we can't stay as we are. He's like a dad to my boys and we love having him in our lives. Should I give him more time? Stay with him? Will he ever move in or am I wasting valuable years on a guy who will never make the move. Anybody had experience of a man like this?
Elle1975 Posted April 26, 2014 Posted April 26, 2014 his first love in life- gambling If he has no desire to stop, run away. I'm sure he likes you and your children, but I agree with you, walking away is best.
travelbug1996 Posted April 26, 2014 Posted April 26, 2014 YOu did the right thing. He potentially has a gambling problem and if he moves in that could negatively effect your household. Besides, you want a man that is EXCITED to move in with you, right?? Well, if so, he's not the one. You are wasting your time. Find a man that would be happy to give you and your children more time. Its hard when your children have gotten emotionally attached. Try not to do that again. Find out what a guys intentions are before letting him in your childrens lives. They dont deserve that and you have a responsibility to bring stability into their lives. Onwards and Upwards!!!
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