Whyfall4nothing Posted April 26, 2014 Posted April 26, 2014 Hey everyone, I just want to share my journey with you and hopefully in the process it will help me to transfer my thoughts out of my head onto this website to help me heal. My relationship was for 1 year and a bit with a 22 year old woman. She was my best friend and I had known her for quite some time. Eventually I started to gain feelings for her and they were reciprocated and everything was great for a while. I’m not sure when but at some point actually, early on in the relationship she became less flirty through texts and even in person. I knew something changed. For example, I would talk to her about the cute things we can do next time we see eachother and she would just respond with “o”. Sometimes we couldn’t always be together in person so we’d skype on cam because we were both full time in school and I noticed one day that she was laughing and engaging more into the person she was texting on the phone than she was to me. And on occasion I would feel like no one even knew I was her boyfriend. One time another guy was flirting with her on twitter but it seemed like he had no clue she was involved with someone. When I asked her about the guy, even though I am not one to be jealous but I’m more concerned with the fact that he probably has no idea about me, and she just laughed while I tried speaking to her about how I felt. After that the texting got less and less and she was barely responding to anything I would say. I asked her if everything was alright with us, and she would always say yes. But her actions spoke otherwise and I didn’t feel like she wanted to be here. Like she wasn’t as reciprocating with things I’d say, or she didn’t seem so eager to talk, or I wouldn’t get a text in the morning. Just small things that I could tell. One night she texted me and asked me if I thought she was acting different lately, and I told her no (because I wanted her to tell me what she thought) and she told me she feels off. And I asked her if she was confused about us, she said no and told me she cared about me so much. I asked her what was going on then? And she said she needs to figure it out herself. I felt odd that a person wouldn’t know whats bothering them, so I decided to confront her about it and figure it out but she wouldn’t tell me that things were wrong. She just kept giving me answering with “I don’t know”. She basically lied to me even when I told her it was okay if she wasn’t feeling it anymore and continued to tell me that things were fine. She told me she wanted to take our label off as girlfriend and boyfriend and told me she still loved me and everything. But yet was acting so distant from me. I couldn’t figure out that, if you still love me but just want to take the label off than why are we acting so distant from eachother. That night I found out she was skyping with her ex. So I was pretty furious and felt extremely lied to. I decided to back away from it all, and she came back a few days later wanting to try again with me and apologizing. I told her I’m not ready to just jump back into it. But for about a week she was all back to her usual self and then she acted so distant and barely responded to my texts. She wished me a happy birthday but with no hearts or anything cute just a simple happy birthday. There seemed to be no emotion attached to it. Whenever I asked her what I was to her “am I more than a friend or just friends” She would always say more. I gave her the option to choose so I don’t know why she’d continue to lead me on. Anyways we barely talked so I knew it was over. When we stopped talking for a few days she would subtly attack me and my character in an indirect way through twitter. I knew it was about me but couldn’t just “assume”. She would try to make me jealous with certain tweets too. I have no idea why she acted that way. After some time I did miss her as a friend so I wanted to see if she felt the same. When I asked her she said she was cool about being friends, but then told me she didn’t know how she felt and that she wasn’t in the mood to talk about it. Then we didn’t talk for a while and she randomly texts me saying she hopes im doing well etc. And a lot of the times when we talked she would call me by my pet name. She also randomly sent me a picture of her body… So it seemed like she still had feelings. Throughout this period its obvious shes talking to her ex. I suppose she didn’t want to commit to her ex so he moved on and got a girlfriend of his own. Me and my ex were still talking and then out of nowhere one day she just tells me she likes me and basically throws herself at me (she didn’t even ask what I wanted back she just assumed). But I didn’t want her back at that point. For one it was too close to the time her ex got a new girlfriend and 2. I just didn’t have trust in her the way I used to. I told her I was just okay with being friends and she was like “same”. So I was confused by that. After telling me she didn’t even act like she was interested, unless she just didn’t want to because I wasn’t interested in her back. But yeah so one of my friends is good friends with her and has her twitter on his phone. He told me that she got a DM from this guy who she was flirting with maybe 10 days after she had told me she liked me again and she showed him one of our text conversations where I told her I missed her as a friend. She basically told him that she didn’t feel the same about me and that she felt bad cause she thinks I like her. After that I really just didn’t want to talk to her and she did try to connect with me a few times but it was just small talk. But yeah that’s my experience it was one big mind game and I’ve learned and grown from it.
TheKook Posted April 26, 2014 Posted April 26, 2014 (edited) There's this thing called paragraphs... Anywho, seems like she just wasn't feeling the relationship with you anymore. Probably kept you around for attention or something like that. All of the contact between you two after the breakup just seem like her using you as an ego boost. Just make sure you don't stalk her social media anymore, and remember there's no point in being her friend until you're totally over the situation. Edited April 26, 2014 by TheKook
Recommended Posts