FredJones80 Posted April 26, 2014 Posted April 26, 2014 I'm pretty new around here, having just come out of a long term relationship. Obviously I'm not thinking to the future or anyone else right now, its far too early. Although the posts here have helped quite a lot it has also left me wondering, do some of you think after reading all these situations, "really, what is the point?" So many stories of cheaters, over-lappers, people you thought you trusted but screwed you big time, long term marriages that ended after 20+ years, marriages that ended after a few months. Men and women who ping back and forth from relationships, exes and more. So what's the point in all this? How can you ever be safe in the knowledge that it isn't just going to be rinse and repeat all the time. Does no one have any morals any more?
lamis Posted April 26, 2014 Posted April 26, 2014 I think the same thing sometimes, especially when I think about the sweet caring woman who would do anything for me that I fell in love with and the lying, selfish woman she became. Did she really change? Or did love just blind me? What's the point in falling for a woman again if the same thing could happen? I think that in both of our cases, we'll get over our apathy when someone else we are interested in comes along. In the mean time, it is actually not an awful attitude to have, as moving on to flings/relationships too quickly is a pretty bad idea. Just work on yourself and enjoy the alone time!
STM206 Posted April 26, 2014 Posted April 26, 2014 I think the same thing. How much effort you out forth into investing your heart and soul into another human being - only to have them drop you when they're done. It makes you wonder if doing the same thing again will only end with the same results. However, when I think of the good memories, the intimate moments, the calls... It really does seem worth it.
Author FredJones80 Posted April 26, 2014 Author Posted April 26, 2014 However, when I think of the good memories, the intimate moments, the calls... It really does seem worth it. Agreed, I suppose it depends how it ends. If it ends messy then that is harder to take. I guess we're damaged until the next time... Everyone looks for "forever" at the start/mid point though, its so sad 2
Brokenguy22 Posted April 27, 2014 Posted April 27, 2014 Agreed.. not sure if it is even worth it. I always end up getting hurt. Gave it 110% heart and soul just to be told I am not good enough.
Grumpybutfun Posted April 27, 2014 Posted April 27, 2014 Not all situations end like this....some are happy and strong, just dependent on finding a good person to share your life with. Your post reminds me of the saying.... Bless those who walk away from you for they are making room for the ones who won't. Rejection and pain are difficult to process and understand,and sometimes when on forums like these or IRL you hear more of the bad than good because people who are happy don't complain. I wouldn't give up because when it does click, it is the single best thing in this life. Married for twenty years and still happy, Grumps 8
headspins Posted April 28, 2014 Posted April 28, 2014 I agree wholeheartedly with those sentiments what is the point? After enduring such excruciating pain one may have from heartbreak. Its so crazy. Just the premise itself if you break it down&think about men chasing woman. For the most part that's what happens lets be honest. Women want to be desired so they try to look physically attractive by doing whatever it takes. Tummy tucks, boob job, lips, etc. You name it. Putting globs of makeup on, barely any clothes to reveal just enough to entice us. Yes, that's just the beginning. Woman that are aware of their own physical attractiveness are very good @ playing "this game" of getting us lured in. Once they've got you either by you approaching, or better yet them seeing what they want&aggressively capturing you. It may be for various reasons depending on the woman, circumstances, what you may have that they want. Most of time its without a doubt is $. Once they've had enough of sucking you dry-all resources including your heart&soul they move on. Im not implying that all woman are like this. Im just simply trying to make a point that nowadays there really isn't anyone that is totally safe within a marriage. You could be doing absolutely everything in your power to make the bond strong. Working hard, domestic duties, attentiveness, intimacy, good sex, and still have not given enough. To hear some kind of bs like its just me, or ive just fallen out of love. You never really can know what someone is all about, but they say there are signs. Even still its always a risk, but that's what life is about isn't it?
Copelandsanity Posted April 28, 2014 Posted April 28, 2014 These are your odds: Divorce: 50% Legal Separation: 15% Chronically Unhappy: 7% You're looking at a 28% chance of having a happy or an alright marriage. So pursuing relationships is an inherent low-odds endeavor. One can look at it as hopeless, but the positive perspective is knowing why the small percentage do succeed and learning from them.
Erlaad Posted April 28, 2014 Posted April 28, 2014 So what's the point in all this? How can you ever be safe in the knowledge that it isn't just going to be rinse and repeat all the time. Does no one have any morals any more? This question could be related to many, many aspects in life. For instance: What is the point of respecting law? In the end, people are going to break it and take advantage of us!What is the point of being good folks? In the end, people are going to be evil and hurt thier brothers and sisters!Etc. Etc. It's hard to answer this questions, philosophers and thinkers have been searching for a clue for millennia. I personally think that you have to find your own answer, for noone else's will work. But know that there are answers - I'm on my way to finding mine, after some pain and some thinking. I would suggest meditating on this quote from the Harry Potter series: “It is important to fight and fight again, and keep fighting, for only then can evil be kept at bay though never quite eradicated.” (A. Dumbledore) - Erl
roger136913 Posted April 28, 2014 Posted April 28, 2014 I think out of everything Trust is the hardest part. I can take years and years to trust someone. I never let people close, I have been used too many times. After being married 24 years and having my Wife cheat 3 times and I never knew at first was a mind f@#$. If someone so close who holds my heart can do it a stranger can do it also. So whats the point I agree.
Recommended Posts